| Subject: Started... now surprised! |
Author:
Kim
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Date Posted: 14:01:29 06/12/02 Wed
A classmate and I wrote of our starting experiences for an essay assignment, and both our teacher and principal refused our work, only because there was no "negative" ending, warning other girls to quit. We responded by saying, a negative ending would not be honest! We simply love cigarettes and don't want to quit- did they want a true story or not? I thought I would post some of my contribution in various places, maybe also to break some stereotypes that are personal to me:
My parents are Korean. I was born in Canada, but am seen as a "Korean" girl, supposed to be good in school, "cute" (always this cute-thing!) and somehow naive. I thought that smoking cigarettes would be a contrast, along with starting to wear makeup, to this "cuteness". I found it strange at first, inhaling, but I liked the smell, and the taste was ok. Not terrible anyway. Friends and I just "puffed" lightly for a while, and my interest in smoking faded a bit after some weeks of just playing at it. But - Our new neighbor smokes on her porch each morning. I have never seen anyone smoke like this! Her cheeks dent so far in, and pop out for a split-second, then dent in all the way again, over and over. The cigarette never seems to leave her mouth, and smoke only seems to be released through her nose after several drags. This was how I wanted to look. I was so sure of this as suited to my face and look, I didn't know that this is the way she smokes away a strong craving. Cravings I didn't have (yet!). Trying to drag like this, steadily and so hard, -this was tough at first, and it made me dizzy, like when I first tried inhaling. But I am quite good at it now, I love the look, and dragging less feels weak, or not enough, -know what I mean? But the downside is - I am so addicted! I didn't plan on this, but I don't want to stop. I love this feeling of "huffing" in the morning, when I first wake up, and on breaks at work. I actually had to get a part-time job to be able to buy cigarettes- the only reason!- and this is ironic because now the job takes away so much time, and my breaks don't keep up with my cravings. More later maybe.
-Kim.
PS -re: stereotype- Koreans don't have "yellow" skin! My nicotine stains on my fingers are proof, -silly, but I like them! :)
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