| Subject: Re: Can't decide? |
Author:
Sharon
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Date Posted: 12/20/07 10:14am
In reply to:
Stephanie
's message, "Can't decide?" on 12/19/07 12:34pm
Stephanie,
I want to say so much, but I don't know where to start.
First, it really sounds like you don't want to have an abortion, but that you feel there may be no other way (or that it's best for the others in your life.) You know, from experience, how much abortion impacts your life and your emotions. So, I don't need to tell you that. But, I do feel I need to point out that the single most important indicator of whether or not a woman will regret an abortion and suffer emotional fall-out from it is IF she felt SHE didn't WANT to have the abortion but had to have it for external reasons (to keep a job, to not have to quit school, to please a boyfriend, husband, or parents, because she didn't have enough money, etc.) So, I'm REALLY worried that you're setting yourself up for feeling some serious emotional aftereffects.
Second, while your kids might be sad about the prospect of a new sibling at first, I can almost guarantee you they would be thrilled when their little sister or brother finally actually did arrive. Same with your parents. They'd welcome this new little one with open arms.
Third, regardless of your relationship with the baby's father right now, an abortion will likely affect it negatively. You will end up resenting him and it will be a negative force in your relationship. So, if there is hope for this relatioship continuing in a positive way, it is probably most likely if you don't have an abortion. True, it may be that he will leave saying it's just too much responsibility - but if that's the case, you're better off without him. But, it MAY be that he will actually step up to the plate a be a good father. Regardless, the chances for the relationship continuing in a positive way are GREATER if you continue the pregnancy than if you abort.
Fourth, there are a NUMBER of resources that open up to you if you are pregnant. One of the most important is the Women Infants and Children program (WIC). It's through your county health nurse's office. It's a great program that provides you with vouchers for good, healthy food while you're pregnant (and for a year afterwards if you decide to nurse) and for your baby until he or she is 5 years old! You'll get free milk, eggs, cheese, beans, peanut butter, iron-fortified cereal, and juice! It's great (making me hungry just typing this ;-)
Finally, and most importantly, as you know...you can end a pregnancy, but you can't erase it. Right now, your little one has only you to depend upon. His entire being is resting in your hands. I know. I almost aborted my first son 28 years ago. When I look at him and know how close I came to aborting him (I, too, had an appointment but I cancelled it), it sends a chill through me. He is now one of my dearest friends. At the moment I was making "my choice", I was holding all that he has become in my hands. That is a chilling thought. But, I am eternally grateful that I cancelled that appointment.
I'll say a prayer for you, Stephanie, that you have peace and clarity and strength.
Sharon
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