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Subject: Re: so scared

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Date Posted: 10/30/09 1:37pm
In reply to: mercedes 's message, "so scared" on 10/26/09 6:55pm


I know it's scary right now, but life has a beautiful way of working out. I almost aborted my first child. I was 18 and had just started college. I ended up cancelling the appointment and I am SO glad I did. My son turns 30 in December and his little boy just turned one yesterday! What I didn't realize at the time I was considering abortion is that the child I was carrying in me was a complete human being and was my first child! I thought of him as a "blob of tissues" or "mass of cells" like Planned Parenthood kept refering to him. But, even then, he had all his fingers and toes, he had all of his organs, his heart was beating and he had BRAIN WAVES! If I'd had an abortion, I would have never known the love and joy that my son (and now HIS son) would bring to this world. Instead, I always would have wondered "what would he or she have been like?" I would have lived with regret and loss.

There are all sorts of resources available for young women in crisis pregnancies. Your local county health nurse can help you apply for the WIC (Women Infants and Children) Program. It will give you vouchers for all sorts of free, healthy food!

This will be a life-defining decision for you: If you choose to carry the pregnancy to term, you will grow into the mother you are already starting to be. If you choose to abort, you will live forever with that reality - and you will never be able to undo it. (I've never known a woman to regret NOT having an abortion, but I've known of LOTS of women who regret HAVING HAD an abortion.)

Please step back from the option of adoption and look at it objectively. Maybe placing your baby with an adoptive family, while difficult for you, would be the most loving thing for you to do for yourself AND for your baby. You would know that you'd done something very meaningful and beautiful - and you would not have to live with the knowledge that you killed your first child. It would be such a generous, self-sacrificing thing to do. You could do an open adoption (most are open these days) that would allow you to play some role in your child's life (a role that you and the adoptive parents would decide upon.) Who knows, it could be that a family right now is praying for your very child to come into their family! Maybe everything is happening for a reason at this time in your life...

I'll say a prayer for you.


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