Date Posted:06:31:23 10/06/05 Thu Author:Lynn Smith Subject: My Second Son
On Aug.21,2004 I lost my second son in a car accident,he went to sleep while driving. He called me three times the day before to see what I was doing and to tell me he loved,if only I had of known it would have been the last time I would here his voice,to talk to him,to tell him I loved him. We were suppose to have my only grandsons' B-Day party on Sat.Aug.21 @ 2pm and instead we were sitting in the funeral home planning my son's funeral at that time. I believe God gave me signs all of Jason'life and I never saw them and now it's to late. It's so hard to talk to people I know because I'm afraid they'll say something about the accident so I hide from the people that was once my friends. The pain is so bad,I would have never dreamed that people live with pain like this. I had a four sons but the last one was stillborn and that pain was nothing like the pain of losing a child you loved for 27 years,sometimes I feel like maybe God is punishing me for not hurting enough from my last one so he took my Jason.
I still have two sons still here but when I look into there eyes and see their pain that I can't make go away and the hurt goes on. Jason use to joke with me that he would always be my baby and I was suppose to take care of him and now I feel I felled him,I always told him that a Mother always knows when her child needs them the most and I would always know and be there but the day he left this world I didn't know,I didn't have a clue it was like any other day but that's the day my life changed for ever and will never be the samr again.
