Re: How to cope with multiple losses??? -- Angelic Whispers and Reflections Forum

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Date Posted: 12:59:15 12/06/05 Tue
Author: angela
Subject: Re: How to cope with multiple losses???
In reply to: kristi 's message, "How to cope with multiple losses???" on 23:46:14 10/26/05 Wed

>as i sit here trying to type everything i want to say
>i just keep wiping the tears wondering if they will
>ever dry?? and i will apologize in advance for this
>being so mumbled together as i am not a very good
>writer.This past June on fathers day my 15 year old
>son Britt and my 13 year old nephew Nick died of
>accidental drownings in a local parks small pond.they
>took their younger brothers 9 and 10 to go fishing
>when they decided to get into the water to race across
>both of them got to the middle and did not make it
>out.we dont know why and we probably never will as the
>pond was only approx 150 ft across.I feel so lost and
>alone even though,i have many people supporting
>me,they just dont understand what its like to lose
>children,,,i say lose children because not only have i
>lost my son and nephew ,,also in june, and one day
>before on the 18th but in 1991, i lost a son as he was
>born still.to make this all worse Britt died on the
>19th and he was born on the 19th of the month in
>January he was exactly 15 years and 5 months old..i
>miss all of these boys so much,,and i just dont
>understand why out of the 4 children i have had,, 2 of
>them have been taken from me plus my 13 year old
>nephew,,,what do you say to people when they ask how
>many children you have???how do you explain these
>tragedies to the living children who dont truly
>understand why they were taken??all of these questions
>i used to think i could somehwat answer beings i have
>had a stillborn child as well as the tragedy on
>fathers day..and at times i feel so guilty for not
>feeling like i grieve my stillborn son as much as i do
>Britt ,,but i also realize more time has passed and i
>had the pleasure of being able to mother britt for 15
>years as where i only got to hold my stillborn child
>for a few minutes not that i love either one of them
>any differently ,,it is two totally different
>experiences for me,,,i am so confused as to what some
>of the feelings i have really are...i have become numb
>and feel as if i am not being the mother i want to be
>to my two living children who are a girl 13,and a boy
>9,,,i guess only time will tell for me but ,,i have
>endured alot but i am still in no way an expert on
>this awful hurt we all feel,but,if someone needs a
>friend or someone who truly knows what you are feeling
>please feel free to write.the loss of a child is the
>hardest thing anyone will ever have to endure,,but,,we
>all must remember our angels have no more heartache
>and pain from this ,at times, cruel world we live in
>and we will all sooner or later be reunited with our
>chosen children and we will ALWAYS have the wonderful
>memories our little ones have given us, not one person
>,or thing, can ever take those from us!!,,,,,,,,,
> in loving memory of my boys
>
> Britton (son)
> JAN. 19,1990
> JUNE 19,2005
>
> Nick (nephew)
> OCT.14,1991
> JUNE 19,2005
>
> Kalin (son)
> JUNE 18,1991
> JUNE 18,1991
>
> ALWAYS LOVING,ALWAYS LOVED,FOREVER IN OUR
>HEARTS!!!!

I am so sorry for the loss of your two sons and nephew. I have had multiple losses myself. My baby sister five years ago,I have misscaried 3 times, and I just recently lost my one month old son, my only child, on Thanksgiving day. My sister and my son were both born on the same day 5 years apart,October 24th. I know that I can not drive myself crazy with the whys? and what ifs?. Only God knows why.My heart is broken and I feel as though I will never stop hurting. I am not angry or bitter but I am sad and lost. You sound so strong. Despite your losses it sounds as if you still have love and trust in God. We must always remember the God is good. Our Children are in heaven with one another waiting for the day when we will join and hold them for eternity. I was blessed with one month to feel a mothers love and you are right...Nothing can take that away from me! Thank you for your inspiring words.

Dean Anson Haritos Oct 24th- November 24th 2005
Caitlin Marie Carter OCT 24th-October 26th 2000

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