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Date Posted: 00:42:41 08/03/02 Sat
Author: Raphaela
Author Host/IP: webcacheB06a.cache.pol.co.uk / 195.92.168.168
Subject: Re: An Elephant in the Shed!
In reply to: Gemini 's message, "Re: An Elephant in the Shed!" on 10:28:36 08/02/02 Fri

Thank you so much Gemini for taking the time to read and crit my short story. We need this feedback to see if amendments are required and to clarify or improve our work.

I wondered about the title giving too much away too - it was originally The Elephant in the House - but then it never seemed to make it into the house so I amended it then.

I also wondered about the language but I didn't want to make it too simple and go for too young a target audience - I was aiming for 9-11. I have given it to my daughters to read and honestly crit! and also a friend's nephew. If they struggle with any of the words I will amend them.

Thanks again for commenting - we often miss the obvious when we read through ourselves but I do agree completely with your points as I wondered about them myself.

Raphaela

p.s. about time you wrote another isn't it?!


>Hi Raphaela,
>I really enjoyed this story of yours.
>You have a very readable, but professional style.
>I could see you as another JK Rowling, I much prefer
>your usage of language.
>Two small crits -
> 1.I thought the title gave too much away.
> 2.Perhaps some children would find some of the words
>a bit difficult depending on the age group you are
>aiming for.
>Your talent for writing knows no bounds.
>Great stuff.
>
>Gem.

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