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Saturday, June 15, 16:33:19 [ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, [3], 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 ]

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Date Posted: 14:04:45 - 06/15/13 - Sat
Author: Quint
Author Host/IP: conr2-adsl-dhcp-66-170-204-148.consolidated.net / 66.170.204.148
Subject: Re: Dear Quint...
In reply to: Geno 's message, "Dear Quint..." on 00:14:25 - 06/15/13 - Sat

I expressed remorse. I admitted that what I did was stupid. You want an apology? Fine. I apologize. I was an immature twelve year old who was pretty smart for his age but also phenomenonally stupid for his age. I had no friends in real life because I didn't know how to interact with people in real life and I mistakenly believed that I knew how to interact with people through technology, because technology was something I understood.

I admit that I told a lie once that started another lie that started another. I admit to lying about the daughter, I admit to lying about being a children's book author. I'll admit to just about any lie you say I told, and I'll apologize for it. Because I was stupid, and I let things get out of control. I thought that if I wrote intelligently enough, was funny enough, "extreme" enough, that I could be accepted by the rest of the slammers and have the friends I always wanted to have, because I saw other slammers being extreme and intelligent and funny, but I was too young and socially retarded to "get" how to be all of those things without being a douche, immature, an asshole, or all three.

I apologize to Grimm for bringing up Columbine to him and trying to use it as a way to fuck with him. No matter how sleazy he got with me, he knew nothing about me personally that he could have/did use against me, and I had no right to use that against him. I'm sorry.

I apologize to Widowmaker for posting something he said off the record as though it were on the record. Again, I knew how to write, but I didn't know how to be a reporter, and literally 100% of what I knew about being a reporter came from TV shows. When I was 11 a friend of mine gave me $10 to write recaps of wrestling PPVs that he then sold to other kids, and I thought that made me a big shot wrestling writer and I thought that would make me a good Hammerlock writer. And I was wrong and I fucked it up and I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to the guy who I said "I pity your daughters" to. Though I know I'll never get an apology from him for the heinously nasty shit he e-mailed to me, I shouldn't have made a private rivalry public, and I shouldn't have gone as low as he did.

I won't apologize for anything related to sister rape because it wasn't me who said it. Just like it wasn't me who posted crime scene photos to the Board of Doom. For all the fucked up shit I said and did back in the day, not all of it was me, and there were other slammers out there taking advantage of the hatred against me to do some fucked up shit of their own and use my name to get away with it. But, you know what? If you and I can talk personally, without it getting nasty, and without anything we discuss being turned against me, let's talk. If I honestly, really did say something about your sister, and you can get me to remember the circumstances, and it turns out that it really was me, I will apologize. And if that's an offer you want to really take up seriously, let me know, and we'll discuss getting in touch.

Some other slammers sort of took me under their wing and tried to help me out, Zipo/Baggie and Wolffen especially. I'm forever grateful to them not just for the help they gave me in relation to C-Slam, but also for understanding the root problems in my psyche that caused those problems in C-Slam in the first place, and for reaching out to me and trying to help me. If either of you are reading this, I don't know if I was ever big enough to thank either of you, and tell me just how much you two helped me out, not just here, but in my life at that time. Thank you.

The fact of the matter is, though, I'd just turned twelve when I joined Cyberslam, and I was probably just around fourteen when I left (I honestly can't remember the years or time frame). And most of the stupid, terrible stuff I did was between tweleve and thirteen. And I know that a great number of slammers knew then and knew now exactly how old I was. I know that from the slammer who somehow obtained my personal information (hacking? a c-slam employee?) and sent me an anonymous IM with my name, address, and phone number to "let me know" that I could be reached. And there were slammers out there who knew that there was some shred of truth to some of the things I said; and just like I shouldn't have made things personal with certain slammers, they shouldn't have either. Funky and Slammer could have been notified that I was a minor out of control and gotten me banned. If someone involved with the game was the one who sent me that IM, he/she could have used that personal information to contact my parents and let them know that their kid was up to some shit, instead of using it to terrorize a child.

I accept responsibility for being an immature, douchebag kid who tried to play grown-up and caused a lot of problems and grief for real grown-ups.

At the same time, a lot of those same grown-ups didn't exactly act like grownups, either.

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