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Date Posted: 15:48:18 03/23/03 Sun
Author: Miss Cam
Subject: A writing critique
In reply to: Tilly 's message, "Rant #1 in which: LQ lays down the law and (get ready!) claims to be a better writer than most of us. O_o" on 21:37:13 03/22/03 Sat

Pverall effort - weak.

I fear she picked up the capitalisation of certain words from me. Bad, bad habit. Shame on me. (But I don't do it that much, I gotta say) *slaps wrist*. Once for effect might work, one per sentence is abuse.

And really, I should never have adviced her to get a thesarus. Double shame on me. Ugh. It doesn't help knowing good words if you a) overuse them and b) use them wrongly, both which can be observed here.

But what our writer here still doesn't get about good writing is this - pace. You can write as flowery as you like, with as many good words as you like, but if you don't know how to pace, you will never write well. Anyone string a sentence together (well, almost anyone). That does not make you a good writer.

And she really need to lay off the commas and adjectives and drop the drama. Then we can start talking about writing improvements and start on characterisation (it's quite weak. The villain looks much too comical and not all real, unless Tilly really is a cartoon. Are you, Tilly? *imagines Tilly the cartoon-villain*)

This was your friendly writing-critique by the ex-beta (and look! No personal attacks, except on myself!) and journalist, Miss Cam.

Have a splendid day.

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