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Date Posted: 14:56:18 02/04/04 Wed
Author: Kolly Kibber
Subject: A Few more tales from Brook Street

1. One of the early phantom shitter incidents started with a huge shit being discovered on the floor of a locked, empty toilet cubicle in the main quad toilets. It was so big and of such strange proportions that the whole school soon started queuing to have a look. As each person came out someone shouted, "IT LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING FEAST BAR!" After a bit of Chinese whispers Edward Feast became the main suspect in the phantom shitter mystery.

2. The mysterious selection procedure of the bellboy and the various privileges attached to the job. i.e. first in the tuck shop queue, leaving lessons early.

3. The way Simon Brister policed the tuck shop queue.

4. The way Simon Brister acted on Thursdays when in full military fatigues. Most teachers peered out of the tower block windows, wondering what the fuck he was shouting about.

5. Look at the photo Brister has posted on Friends Reunited.

6. Whilst on the C.C.F. subject... On an army camp we had spent the day 'camming up' and pretending to be soldiers. We had green and brown camo sticks. Dan Lewis only used the brown one and painted every part of his visible skin with it. He also stuck a red sticker on his forehead, wrapped a tea-towel round his head and adopted an Asian accent. He then went and spoke to some Black lads in the dinner queue who were from a school in Leeds.

7. On the same trip James Grainger had his alarm clock set for 5am to play his War of the Worlds tape. This scared the shit out of everyone.

8. Whe everyone used to chase Worms around Grantham shoutin "Worms", he would shit himself and run away.

9. At Arnold Graham's shop if you bought more than 3 items at once or if the total cost of your purchase was above 50p, he would shout "David, David, get the calculator". Arnold, David and the shop wouldn't look out of place on the League of Gentlemen.

10. On Rememberance Sunday when George used to become supreme commander of the British forces. Including scouts, brownies, police and fire service.

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