19 Rude jokes -- The Spare Blue Room board

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Subject: 19 Rude jokes

Author:
Jon

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Date Posted: 14:14:22 02/09/05 Wed

1.How many animals can you fit into a pair of tights?
10 Little piggies,
2 Calves,
1 Ass,
1 Pussy,
1 Beaver,
An unknown number of hares,
And one dead fish no one can find.

2.What's a blonde's favourite nursery rhyme?
A. Humpme Dumpme.

3.What is soft and warm when you go to bed , but hard and stiff when you wake up ?
A. Vomit

4.What do you get when you cross a nun with a PC?
A. A computer that will never go down on you.

5.How do you get a nun pregnant?
A. Dress her up as an alter boy.

6.What is the difference between Jurassic Park and IBM?
A. One is a theme park dominated by dinosaurs, the other is a Stephen Spielberg film.

7.What do you call two skunks having a 69?
A. Odour Eaters.

8.How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
A. Phone her.

9.Why does an elephant have four feet?
A. Because six inches isn't long enough.

10.What's the worst thing about being a test-tube baby?
A. You know your dad's a wanker.

11.How do you make a dog drink?
A. Put it in a blender.

12.Why aren't blondes good cattle herder's?
A. Because they can't keep their calves together.

13.What do you call a smart blonde?
A. A golden retriever.

14.What did one lesbian frog say to the other?
A. We really do taste like chicken!

15.How can you tell if a valentine is from a leper?
A. The tongue's still in the envelope.

16.What's the definition of Trust?
A. Two cannibals giving each other a blow job.

17.Why can you only have two doors on a chicken coup?
A: If it had four it would be a chicken sedan.

18.What do you call a fish without an eye ?
A: Fsh.

19.Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
It's not very bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy

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