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Subject: Road Home


Author:
Jeff
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Date Posted: 08:47:47 09/16/02 Mon

John, watched the movie on Sat. Wow, what a beautiful woman!! I'm hooked! I can only imagine how you felt watching it. IF you were upset seeing how it related to you and Aoy, I bet that flick reopened the wounds. Too, too early to be watching a film like that. I invite you John to share with us your thoughts and feelings about the movie and how you can relate to it so deeply. (HEY, any of you other guys check out the movie? Why the hell not? I rented it from the library. I believe it certainly is available. Why haven't you taken the time to watch and better understand how and why it had such an impact on him. If you shared a similar impact, would you not want us to try and relate? What does your behavior say about your desire to better understand any one of us? Is your life so busy that you can't take 2 hrs? What if I came to your door or called you on the phone in distress, would you also not have the time or would you FIND the time? Can't you start with this simple gesture?

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: Road Home


Author:
John
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Date Posted: 14:57:49 09/16/02 Mon

Jeff, thank you for giving this film a chance. I'm glad you came away with something. Yes, Zhang Ziyi is incredibly beautiful.

Of course I could relate to this film in a number of ways, even though this story is set in China. The conservative and careful approach to courtship is the norm throughout Asia. Appropriate behavior demonstrates your concern for others and thoughtless acts lose "face". Although marriages are not arranged in Thailand, they are still very sensitive to differences in social class, as in the film. This was another reason why Aoy felt unworthy, coming from a poor family possessing little formal education.

Before I go somewhere, I try to learn as much as I can of the culture and this helps me to understand and properly interpret behavior I experience there. I cannot tell you how many times I witnessed western tourists misinterpreting the actions of Thais. Sometimes getting mad at someone who was trying to show respect or sometimes looking on with affection, unknowingly, while they were being badly insulted.

I believe my sensitivity and respect for the Thai culture opened them up to seeing me as someone more than a tourist. New experiences were opened to me. Asians are very sensitive about "face". I knew enough to avoid actions that would lose face for Aoy or her family. She began to look at me differently when she saw that I cared about things like this.

This film spoke to me. I was moved by the separation the characters experienced. The teacher having to return to the city. Her waiting. This made me think of every time I had to get on that plane and fly back to the U.S. I can vividly remember every single time I had to say goodbye to Aoy. How each time the circumstances were a bit different, but how the heartbreak was always the same. I remember giving Aoy a small gift and how she treasured it and showed me how she kept it with her always.

The most moving aspect of the film was the intense devotion for her loved one. I imagine some could look at it and coldly state that she was merely an obsessive personality, but when you experience feelings of love this powerful you understand the pain and longing wrought by separation. Your heart wants nothing but to be with your love once again, regardless of any difficulties.

Yes, there certainly are a few parallels with my experiences with Aoy, but this is not our story and it doesn't unlock any secrets to our relationship. This is a beautiful human story that most sensitive people, regardless of culture, would find moving.

On that note, let me say that I didn't specifically ask everyone to go out and see this to better understand me. Yes, I believe that seeing a film or reading a book that another person loves or is deeply moved by will help you to understand that person better. It points to where their heart is, what they value most and in some instances it can show you an instance very much like an important moment in their life. Jeff, I am grateful that you took the time to see this and can sense that there is a connection between this film and my life, but don't come down hard on the others. I post reviews all of the time and although I strongly recommend some I don't think I've asked you all to watch any specific films... yet.

I invite you all to see the films I recommend here, but I understand that my tastes are rather unusual and I am not offended if you do not care to partake. In the future I may ask you to watch a specific film. I will clearly state that request and I will try to explain why I want you to.
[> [> Subject: Re: Road Home


Author:
Jeff
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Date Posted: 15:35:58 09/16/02 Mon

John, I don't think I'm getting down on anyone I'm just throwing some rhetorical questions for us all to consider. Just like you stated John, I make a point of focusing on 'what was John thinking? where was he (emotionally) when he watched that movie or read that book?' I believe I did the same thing with Curt and I believe I did with Ken, nothing comes to mind off hand. Speaking of chinese movies, I really enjoyed King of Masks. A great movie focusing on father/daughter relationships, of just wanting to belong and be loved and how best intentions can blow up in our faces. I felt endearment towards the movie. Now if any of you clowns recommend War & Peace or any Shakespearean plays, my foot will say hello to your arse.
Although I did enjoy a quirky movie/musical called Loves Labour Lost-an adaption of Shakespears play intermixed with popular broadway songs and dance. And seeing that guy who played SHAGGY, playing a role in this movie speaking shakespeare was odd.
I was taken aback by Kenneth Brannagh's??(sp-the dude most famous for his remake of Henry V) speech about love...oh hang on...that bastard John is on the phone....damn fucking timing all shot to hell!!!
[> [> [> Subject: Re: King of Masks


Author:
John
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Date Posted: 20:44:37 09/24/02 Tue

>Speaking of chinese movies, I really enjoyed
>King of Masks. A great movie focusing on
>father/daughter relationships, of just wanting to
>belong and be loved and how best intentions can blow
>up in our faces. I felt endearment towards the movie.

It's interesting that you mention this film since I rented it right after The Road Home. Did the previews on that feature prompt you to rent this? King of Masks is a fine film. I'm glad you liked it.
[> [> [> [> Subject: Re: King of Masks


Author:
Jeff
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Date Posted: 07:55:30 09/25/02 Wed

No, I watched King of Masks last month! It was a film I continued to pass up, yet I had an interest in seeing it. I finally picked it up and thought it was great. I just watched Empire of the sun....couldn't finish it..BORING!!! Watched Monster Ball - just to see what all the hubbub was all about....ouch! what a nasty girl! Reminds me of what of the ladies I met through the internet. heh, heh.
I also enjoyed Usual Suspects again. Just like the Dr. Mabuse character, I enjoyed the Keiser Soze enigmatic bad guy. I would like to introduce such a character for the Hogalums....a mastermind from our past yet we aren't quite sure who he was or what he looked like, yet he is out there but always at a safe distance from the heroes.

7 more days!!!! Kim is hoping to sell the car and buy a different one today. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping the BEST for her. This will mean she will have a car in her name only and I will no longer be haunted by wells fargo for her constant late payments. We also got our taxes mailed out on Sat. Another dark cloud gone away...I've ensured that refunds will come to my address so I can use to pay off debts we are both obligated to pay. I do believe 2003 will be a nice CLEAN year.
[> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: movies


Author:
John
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Date Posted: 13:43:23 09/25/02 Wed

I saw Empire of the Sun in the theatres when it first opened. You are absolutely right. I thought it was one of the most appallingly boring and pointless films I'd ever seen. It seemed like self-indulgent reminiscing on the author's part. If you didn't know this, it's written by J.G.Ballard and based on his childhood experience. That's the same guy who wrote Crash, later to be filmed by David Cronenberg. Now, that was a movie!

I also saw Bertolucci's The Last Emperor in the theatres and didn't like that one either. A much better film in the same vein is Kundun, about the Chinese takeover of Tibet and the flight of the Dalai Lama.

Usual Suspect was good and everyone seems to love it, but something about it just isn't right. I liked it, but I find it lacking. It's so polished it seems more manipulative than authentic, if that makes any sense. Instead of glimpsing another world, I feel as though I've been watching something artificial and over-produced, like a self-conscious stage play. I would still recommend this film, though.

The Dr. Mabuse films are great. The earlies ones are rather primitive and strangely paced, but enjoyable none-the-less.

I haven't seen Monsters Ball yet.

Jeff, again, good luck wrapping things up with Kim. You're going to need it.
[> [> [> [> [> [> Subject: Re: movies


Author:
Jeff
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Date Posted: 08:12:23 09/26/02 Thu

Last Emperor, I only watched because YMO's Riuchi Sakamoto is in the film. I also watched Ang Lee's Ice Storm...BORING!!! Nice camera work but story lacked. I did like one of the character's reflection of The Fantastic Four's family dynamics and how they play out in his own life.

Kim has signed papers and gets her Plymouth Van on Friday!!!! Thank GOD!!!! I have discovered Kim's final debt proposal....in a nutshell, IF I quick deed the house to her and relinquish my half of home equity, she will not expect me to pay her half of her students loans which equal 30,000.00 So on paper, whatever it due me, she will assume equal amount of OUR debt.
I believe I will do this....its just money. I can quickly recovered that from the radio show. She will feel good that she has succeeded in playing her final move on the chess board. She could still be in the house and not sell it...and I still wouldn't see any of the money..again, even if my half was 20,000.00- I can expect to receive that much after 5 months of being on the air. Big freakin' deal.
So, I believe her proposal will be something I can live with and be complete on Oct. 2nd.
Six more days...


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