Subject:  Re: Road Home |
Author:
John
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Date Posted: 14:57:49 09/16/02 Mon
In reply to:
Jeff
's message, "Road Home" on 08:47:47 09/16/02 Mon
Jeff, thank you for giving this film a chance. I'm glad you came away with something. Yes, Zhang Ziyi is incredibly beautiful.
Of course I could relate to this film in a number of ways, even though this story is set in China. The conservative and careful approach to courtship is the norm throughout Asia. Appropriate behavior demonstrates your concern for others and thoughtless acts lose "face". Although marriages are not arranged in Thailand, they are still very sensitive to differences in social class, as in the film. This was another reason why Aoy felt unworthy, coming from a poor family possessing little formal education.
Before I go somewhere, I try to learn as much as I can of the culture and this helps me to understand and properly interpret behavior I experience there. I cannot tell you how many times I witnessed western tourists misinterpreting the actions of Thais. Sometimes getting mad at someone who was trying to show respect or sometimes looking on with affection, unknowingly, while they were being badly insulted.
I believe my sensitivity and respect for the Thai culture opened them up to seeing me as someone more than a tourist. New experiences were opened to me. Asians are very sensitive about "face". I knew enough to avoid actions that would lose face for Aoy or her family. She began to look at me differently when she saw that I cared about things like this.
This film spoke to me. I was moved by the separation the characters experienced. The teacher having to return to the city. Her waiting. This made me think of every time I had to get on that plane and fly back to the U.S. I can vividly remember every single time I had to say goodbye to Aoy. How each time the circumstances were a bit different, but how the heartbreak was always the same. I remember giving Aoy a small gift and how she treasured it and showed me how she kept it with her always.
The most moving aspect of the film was the intense devotion for her loved one. I imagine some could look at it and coldly state that she was merely an obsessive personality, but when you experience feelings of love this powerful you understand the pain and longing wrought by separation. Your heart wants nothing but to be with your love once again, regardless of any difficulties.
Yes, there certainly are a few parallels with my experiences with Aoy, but this is not our story and it doesn't unlock any secrets to our relationship. This is a beautiful human story that most sensitive people, regardless of culture, would find moving.
On that note, let me say that I didn't specifically ask everyone to go out and see this to better understand me. Yes, I believe that seeing a film or reading a book that another person loves or is deeply moved by will help you to understand that person better. It points to where their heart is, what they value most and in some instances it can show you an instance very much like an important moment in their life. Jeff, I am grateful that you took the time to see this and can sense that there is a connection between this film and my life, but don't come down hard on the others. I post reviews all of the time and although I strongly recommend some I don't think I've asked you all to watch any specific films... yet.
I invite you all to see the films I recommend here, but I understand that my tastes are rather unusual and I am not offended if you do not care to partake. In the future I may ask you to watch a specific film. I will clearly state that request and I will try to explain why I want you to.
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