| Subject: Re: 可以mark eng compo嗎?(詳見內文)eng應該合格。(About a C to D Grade) |
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板主
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Date Posted: 17:57:10 04/28/03 Mon
In reply to:
ching ching
's message, "請問可以幫我mark eng compo嗎? 我大概會有咩grade le? Thank you very much!" on 06:50:27 04/28/03 Mon
General Comments
1. Even though you write similar topic as of Cherry Kam, I think yours is better.
2. Grammar is strong but lack of variety of vocabulary showed-important for CE but not important for ASL-dangerous!!!
3. Even though Suggestions are made, they are rather vague and impractical. Please read more too learn about the real issues before you write.
4. Other small comments in #[blankets].
>請問可以幫我mark eng compo嗎? 我大概會有咩grade le?
>Thank you very much!
>Topic: your school has received a gift of money. your
>principal has decided to improve the school facilities
>in many ways by spending this money.
>You are the Secretary of the school and you have been
>asked to write a short proposal to the principal
>recommending at lest three of the following for the
>improvement.
>-classrooms
>-computer rooms
>-canteen
>-library
>-rest rooms
>-sport facilities
>
>
>Dear principal:
>I would like to recommend the following improvements
>in our schools by utilizing the money received
>recently.
>As for improving the efficiency of our library, we may
>use the fund to computerize the lending, borrowing and
>recording system. With this new system, more books can
>be handled by our library, which means much variety of
>books can be offered to students. Moreover, the
>various subjects of books may enhance student’s
>interested in reading.
#[Unclear logic:Computerization=Enhance interests in reading??? Strange!]
>We all know that knowledge is not only confined in
>books. So, besides utilizing the money in library, I
>would suggest spending them on our computer room. The
>existing computer system is slow and out-dated; we may
>upgrade the system by connecting it to the Internet.
>Students could obtain the latest information by
>serving on the Internet and hence arise their
>awareness at surrounding world.
#[It is difficult and expensive for the whole school to upgrade its I.T, facilities constantly! Also:It is quite common to have computers at home, so why should the school spend $ on what you already own? My suggestion: Buy some laptop computers for poor students to used at home.]
>Despite of the importance of academic performance, I
>also concern about the health of student. Just imagine
>how could students concentrate on their studies if
>they do not have energy? I recommend using the funds
>to provide various sport facilities to students, for
>example, tennis, volleyball or badminton. These
>activities not only improve the health of students,
>but also enhance the friendship between students.
#[This idea is much better than the previous ones.]
>All the above are my suggestion towards the ways of
>spending the gift of money. Thank you very much for
>your kind attention, I hope you can take my proposal
>into consideration.
#[The ending is O.K.]
>
>Yours faithfully,
>Chris Wong
>School Secretary
#[P.S. I want to reply you yesterday. Unfortunately, my machine "hang" just at the moment of sending.
So Please don't post your message all over again as it will occupy space & I am too lazy to delete your message!!!]
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