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Date Posted: 15:32:24 05/26/05 Thu
Author: Kathy
Subject: Well, I will try to do these things...
In reply to: Reverend E. Dwayne Looper 's message, "You all need to come to Jesus" on 14:57:11 05/26/05 Thu

* Get baptized as commanded by Christ.
OK, my parents covered that when I was a baby. I'm not sure it took, though.
* Tell people about your new faith in Christ.
Um...it's beyond words? Yeah. Words cannot convey my...degree of faith in...Christ. Except when I say things like, "STOP DOING THAT TO THE CAT!!! He does NOT like it!Christ on a stick!" Maybe that will do.
* Spend time with God each day riding bicycles.
I tried to ride my bicycle to work and nearly got killed. Lubbock is not bike friendly.
* Send Reverend Looper some money each week
Well, I just started tae kwan do. And Nicky is getting into the tournaments, with all the gear and fees and stuff. And we have this mortgage.
* Seek fellowship with other Republicans.
I am forced to make nice with them because they're on our board, and they're all in our golf tournement, and stuff. It's kinda a feudal relationship, really. I have to smile at rich assholes or my clients don't get meds or go to clinic. Is that enough? Please tell me it is or there will be an incident.
* Sin often and be forgiven.
But...part of John's and my explanation of atheist morality is that we don't necessarily get forgiven. Some things are not forgivable, so it's best not to do them in the first place. At least that's what we thought...anyway, how do we know for sure we're forgiven? And who's doing the forgiving? Is it the person/s hurt by the sinful action? That would be kind of fair, I guess, but what about punishment?
* Have a problem with internet pornography and
be forgiven.

That doesn't include having to GIVE UP the internet pornography, does it? I hope not.
* Commit adultery, get divorced, and be forgiven.
I work from 8:30-4:30 M-F and at least 5-6 Saturdays a month. There's also Nicky's tournaments...they're always on Saturdays. I go to tae-kwon-do from 7:30-about 9:00 M,W, and Th. On the weekends we talk about doing housework and play hotseat computer games together. When am I supposed to commit this adultery? Also, John is really fun and nice and smart and cool. I don't want to divorce him. And I'm still not getting the forgiveness stuff.
* Ignore the inconvient parts of the Bible.
Done and done.
* Start a fire for Jesus. Make sure no one sees you.
Like where? I might be able to make some arrangements there. It'll have to be on a weekend, though.

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