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Date Posted: 10:54:17 08/21/03 Thu
Author: Ferdie Von Pelt
Subject: Re: ~What am I with out you~
In reply to: Ferdie Von Pelt 's message, "~What am I with out you~" on 11:32:27 08/18/03 Mon

*He was old and wise, He knew when things are bothering others, call it intuition, However the older he got the more he began to shoot off his tongue He had to learn how to stop before he started to do that. He decided to speak of the things he knew of first, And love was far from anything he could understand, he was 10 years old and he still didn’t understand it* Vaughan Pelt… Yes, I can tell you why, and I can also tell you, You are closer related to me then you think. My blood line going back to my great grandfather, who, sired over 50 pups. Had a evil in his heart, it’s rumored to go back further then that but this far our family knows for sure, This evil harbors itself in every heart who has his blood flowing though their veins. And sooner and or later, this evil will take over, Cotton holds the evil, Her pups hold it my pups hold it, I hold it. Those in my blood line usually turn evil, Vaughan Pelt is my Brothers son, he has let it claim his heart. My Family if they can fight that evil, like, myself they can do great things that they will be remembered for. That is why when I could no longer feel any emotions the evil began to take over and I said and did awful things. I should go to Koda and apologize myself, It wasn’t right of me to say that, I wasn’t in my right mind or heart.
*He shook his head fighting tears, why was he crying so much lately, his change to though allowed him to win the fight and no tears fell from his eyes*

*He smiled* I am also a member of Kosses pack so If I were to tell you no I’d be a hypocrite wouldn’t I? Yes you may join both, but remember love isn’t supposed to be work, Love is meant to be something more. Though I truly believe she should live here in the pack that is Camelot’s Ally. Kosses does come here I’d think she’d see her just as much, but I’m not to say these things. Kosses is busy with her kingdom and Alairic and Alairic’s children. Kosses has been hurt by him and I promised if he ever hurt her I’d be there. But I never realized how useless I am compared to him. *Quickly he squelched his rambling these were not the things to say at all yet he had said them before he could stop. He sat thinking over his words*
I’m useless in the world of love, I myself am 10 and still haven’t chosen a love, I do believe you rushed into it with Koda but that is not my decision, Tell me why did you choose Koda? How were you sure your feeling were not just that of strong friendship?
*He spoke with a seriousness asking for a answer but his tone also begged the other not to be angered but the way this question came out, He needed to re-evaluate his relationships is that why he was asking spirited dreams to do it first? Just by saying that question aloud He realized now that, that was the love he held for Kosses, Strong friendship. and perhaps that was the kind he had held all along. Wait a second Did he just push to far with Spirited Dreams, Damb age it was beginning to make him lose his mind, let him ramble and do things he would have never have done or said two years ago.*

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[> |Tamed Spirit|Encased Dream| -- Spirited Dreams, 12:50:03 08/21/03 Thu [1]

he mused over the first words of Ferdie, the words of evil. who knew how far family trees stretched out? the evil he himself held he considered different. it had not always been there, but had come wrapped in a package and dropped at his door. it was born from his rage at seeing his family killed ruthlessly.

he closed his lids over his spheres, the memory flashing past his vision. no tears were given, and no howls of tormented anger. no, that was all past him. he could at last think of his past and not be swept away with emotions. he had found peace within himself.

then again his sister had almost become evil as well. she was too carefree to care that much of their past, but she had left him for two years. she came back, broken and torn. it turned out she'd found another pack and gotten a mate, but he was killed by another male who had loved her. it sounded much like Khastin's death...he shrugged. he wasn't sure why she hadn't called upon her powers to go back in time, to stop all that pain.

then again sometimes it was best to live through it. in the end you can learn from it. but the point is she had thought of evil too, and that left him with the notion that perhaps they were related. either that or turning evil was the easy way out of everything. allowing hate to consume you by giving in. too many possibilities.


audits twitched as Ferdie began his part on love, the thing neither of them understood. after Ferdie finished, he began, first by answering questions.

~i may have been rushed into the relationship, despite the fact i had thought i would never leave my heart for another to shatter. it was my belief i should not get attached, but i met her. i was exploring one day on the grounds of Camelot, i think i was actually searching for you. i layed in the shadows for a rest, and she spied me. at our first meeting one would never think we would fall for each other, since i was rather snappy to her for talking with me while i wanted to be alone. sadly she turned to leave, and something urged me to stop her. with no other thought i had invited her to AM. at first i thought of her as only a friend, but she offered me affection i have never before felt. maybe it was puppy love, and now i am paying the price. for my heart is torn in two. i love Koda, dearly, but sometiems i wonder if i love her just because she loves me.~

he sighed deeply, his inner secret at last to be told.

~but the other half of my heart belongs to Rain.~

he slumped to the ground, fore paws stretched out offering a resting hold for his dial.

~sometimes i wonder if i love her more than Koda...~

he stared dimly at his paws, as if they held the answer to his foolishness.

~i do believe i rushed into it, and now i am feeling the impact. but i would never leave Koda, for despite her cetain aspects as of late, i love her too. perhaps not as much, but still love.~

he nervously laughed at hismelf before raising his dial to peer intently at Ferdie.

~i am a foolish youngster who knows nothing of love. i guess i thought i knew everything...~

he forced a slight smile, but quickly it fadded as his orbs clouded over with pain. yes, he could relate to Ferdie's longing, in one way or another. they were not the same stories, but they were under the same topic. Ferdie had taken too long, and he had gone too soon.

~love is too complicated to be expressed in a definition or explination. it is a feeling that, well you just know when it comes. true the feeling is false on occasions, or ignited then doused. love can never change, but it intends on playing a game with your heart. it will always remain loyal and steer you to your true love, but it will lie and decieve you into thinking you feel for another. such was your case with Calprei and Kosses. all these years you chased Kosses,following your heart, when it dimly glowed towards Calprei. you ignored the glow, going for the stronger emotion until magic lifted the fog of lies.~

he shifted on the floor, gaze once more turning to look at Ferdie.

~you are not useless. in the love department perhaps, but as shoulder to cry on, a friend to rely on, never. for everyone, there is only one other who can help them with love, and usualy that one other is the one that brought the pain in the first place.~

the words swirled around his head, all the love and hate. pain and evil. how much less complicated life would be if love did not exist, but then there would be no reason to live. more compliacted was this conversation than first appeared.


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