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Date Posted: 12:50:03 08/21/03 Thu
Author: Spirited Dreams
Subject: |Tamed Spirit|Encased Dream|
In reply to: Ferdie Von Pelt 's message, "~What am I with out you~" on 11:32:27 08/18/03 Mon

he mused over the first words of Ferdie, the words of evil. who knew how far family trees stretched out? the evil he himself held he considered different. it had not always been there, but had come wrapped in a package and dropped at his door. it was born from his rage at seeing his family killed ruthlessly.

he closed his lids over his spheres, the memory flashing past his vision. no tears were given, and no howls of tormented anger. no, that was all past him. he could at last think of his past and not be swept away with emotions. he had found peace within himself.

then again his sister had almost become evil as well. she was too carefree to care that much of their past, but she had left him for two years. she came back, broken and torn. it turned out she'd found another pack and gotten a mate, but he was killed by another male who had loved her. it sounded much like Khastin's death...he shrugged. he wasn't sure why she hadn't called upon her powers to go back in time, to stop all that pain.

then again sometimes it was best to live through it. in the end you can learn from it. but the point is she had thought of evil too, and that left him with the notion that perhaps they were related. either that or turning evil was the easy way out of everything. allowing hate to consume you by giving in. too many possibilities.


audits twitched as Ferdie began his part on love, the thing neither of them understood. after Ferdie finished, he began, first by answering questions.

~i may have been rushed into the relationship, despite the fact i had thought i would never leave my heart for another to shatter. it was my belief i should not get attached, but i met her. i was exploring one day on the grounds of Camelot, i think i was actually searching for you. i layed in the shadows for a rest, and she spied me. at our first meeting one would never think we would fall for each other, since i was rather snappy to her for talking with me while i wanted to be alone. sadly she turned to leave, and something urged me to stop her. with no other thought i had invited her to AM. at first i thought of her as only a friend, but she offered me affection i have never before felt. maybe it was puppy love, and now i am paying the price. for my heart is torn in two. i love Koda, dearly, but sometiems i wonder if i love her just because she loves me.~

he sighed deeply, his inner secret at last to be told.

~but the other half of my heart belongs to Rain.~

he slumped to the ground, fore paws stretched out offering a resting hold for his dial.

~sometimes i wonder if i love her more than Koda...~

he stared dimly at his paws, as if they held the answer to his foolishness.

~i do believe i rushed into it, and now i am feeling the impact. but i would never leave Koda, for despite her cetain aspects as of late, i love her too. perhaps not as much, but still love.~

he nervously laughed at hismelf before raising his dial to peer intently at Ferdie.

~i am a foolish youngster who knows nothing of love. i guess i thought i knew everything...~

he forced a slight smile, but quickly it fadded as his orbs clouded over with pain. yes, he could relate to Ferdie's longing, in one way or another. they were not the same stories, but they were under the same topic. Ferdie had taken too long, and he had gone too soon.

~love is too complicated to be expressed in a definition or explination. it is a feeling that, well you just know when it comes. true the feeling is false on occasions, or ignited then doused. love can never change, but it intends on playing a game with your heart. it will always remain loyal and steer you to your true love, but it will lie and decieve you into thinking you feel for another. such was your case with Calprei and Kosses. all these years you chased Kosses,following your heart, when it dimly glowed towards Calprei. you ignored the glow, going for the stronger emotion until magic lifted the fog of lies.~

he shifted on the floor, gaze once more turning to look at Ferdie.

~you are not useless. in the love department perhaps, but as shoulder to cry on, a friend to rely on, never. for everyone, there is only one other who can help them with love, and usualy that one other is the one that brought the pain in the first place.~

the words swirled around his head, all the love and hate. pain and evil. how much less complicated life would be if love did not exist, but then there would be no reason to live. more compliacted was this conversation than first appeared.

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Replies:

[> Re: ~What am I with out you~ -- Ferdie Von Pelt, 13:38:26 08/21/03 Thu [1]

*He nodded his head and repeated his words but with a slightly different twist he based in on the present not the past.*

Love can never change, but it intends on playing a game with your heart. it will always remain loyal and steer you to your true love, but it will lie and deceive you into thinking you feel for another. Such as your case with Rain and Koda. Will it be years you chase Koda, following your heart, when it dimly glows towards Rain. You can ignore the glow, going for the stronger emotion until magic lifts the fog of lies and leaves you with both being untouchable.
*He looked at Spirited Dream questioningly then sighed* Don’t Make my mistake Spirited Dreams, You may have rushed slightly but the longer you tangle in this web the more painful it’ll become. Be sure you have what you want, For if you are not truly happy then what is your life for?
*He slid to the ground and rests his head on his paws, Then chuckles as he realized they mirrored each other’s pose*
((Didn’t mean to copy but realized it later that he did, What a pair these two are))

Kosses has returned, I can scent her now, she is in the pack lands, I should talk to her and straighten out my love life, so that I may die a happy wolf if not anything else, Yes it’s going to hurt for a while but it is for the better, I hope *He stood and looked to the pack lands His heart rate picking up but he was tired to playing the chasing game*
And what are you going to do? My son…


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