| Subject: It Could Happen, Part 1 |
Author:
lauraloo
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Date Posted: 12:09:28 07/28/02 Sun
Title: It Could Happen, Part 1
Rating: PG-13 (nothing major)
Summary: Harm decides to shoot first and ask questions later.
There are years that ask questions
and years that answer.
Zora Neale Hurston, There Eyes Were Watching God
Part 1
Monday 0915 Hours
JAG HQ
There was a certain way that Sarah Mackenzie could position her chair, so that, if she should so desire, her eyes could travel through the glass wall of her office, across the bullpen to the right and directly into his office. Of course, it only worked when his blinds were open. To her luck, they were.
She’d done this for years. Six years. It had started with an occasional glance here and there. But it had grown and grown and as the seasons changed, so did her intent. There were times she looked in curiosity or with the comfortable smile of friendship. There were times she looked in frustration, hurt, anger. And there was a period of time that she’d look, knowing he wasn’t there; hoping, longing that her memory would conjure him up, if only for a second.
Now, as Mac glanced furtively over the legal manual she was pretending to study, she looked with so much more. This was her morning treat. Others might choose designer coffee or Friday break room donuts. Instead she fixed her eyes on the whole of him; his beautiful, solid frame poised at the computer, the way he moved with intent, the chiseled line of his features. This was her obsession. This was the man she had chosen.
The marine in her hated it, taunting her to be strong, to remember that she had bared her soul and lost, that even though they were at a good place, “back at the beginning,” they might never get through the deluge of hurt, of miscommunication, of questions. It might never be their time. And she would have to survive it.
But the woman in her arose, at first timidly, and now with proud defiance. This woman was soft, graceful, misty-eyed. She stared away without shame and savored him, savored the fact that she had finally stopped lying to herself. For she had learned, little by little, that she was worthy. And she had learned why she could never again love another man. There had been others. But no matter what they looked like, what they did, how they loved her, they would always possess one fatal flaw. They could never be him. At this, the Marine Lt. Colonel, the rational lawyer, stood down. Not in defeat, but in peaceful resignation of the simple fact that Sarah Mackenzie’s entire world was Harmon Rabb Jr.
This time she would wait, for him or for no one ever again. And when it killed her, when her need for him threatened to completely overcome her, she’d continue to wait. As long as it took. This time, he was not only going to have to come to her. He was going to have to say the words.
Mac reluctantly returned to her work. The Marine took over, reaching for a case file. As she searched for her pen, she looked up again, indulging herself in one more glance. She dove right in, forgetting all manner of stealth. She stared right into his eyes.
Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. was in the middle of his morning chores – answering e-mails, returning phone calls, reviewing his schedule, when his eyes met hers from across the bullpen. He flashed her a bright smile, which she immediately returned before looking away. He chuckled softly. She’d moved quickly back to her work. Too quickly, like she’d been caught red handed. He didn’t care. In fact, that smile had been the one high point in his day so far, and based on the schedule that lay in front of him, it wasn’t looking much better. Her smile was genuine and beautiful. And she, well she was breathtaking and that was all there was to it.
He’d caught her staring before, and even though they were friends, best friends who jibbed and teased each other relentlessly, he’d never call her on it. It would embarrass her and God knows he just couldn’t afford to make any more dumbass mistakes with this woman. He had hurt her, deeply on occasion, he had angered, frustrated her beyond belief. Hell, he’d even driven her right into the arms of another man, engagement ring waiting and all. No, he was done running and hiding. He was done misleading her, clinging to old demons like a toddler to his ratty security blanket.
Her eyes, even for that brief moment, had said it all, had said what their words had only twisted, what her voice couldn’t risk again. Enough waiting. It was time and it was up to him. Truth be told, he loved Sarah Mackenzie. He would die for her. And he was damn tired of waking each day without her. Harm said a silent prayer that this time he’d be able to reach deep inside himself and find it. Find the way. Find the words.
Reality reeled him in again in the form of the figure at his door.
“Excuse me, Commander Rabb.” Petty Officer Tiner stood in the doorway.
Harm waved him in. “Good morning, Tiner. What can I do for you?”
“Sir, the Admiral will be ready for you in five minutes. It’s about the Carter case, Sir.” Tiner’s worn expression suggested that Admiral Chegwidden had already put him through the ringer and it was barely 0900.
Harm rolled his eyes. “I was afraid of that. I need to make one stop and I’ll be right there, thank you Tiner. Dismissed.”
“Enter,” Mac said at the rapping on her door frame. She knew it was him. After six years of enduring the involuntary rising of her body temperature every time he greeted her, looking up became unnecessary. “Hi sailor.”
“Mornin’, Mac. Hey, I’ve just been summoned and I…”
His words were cut short as she whipped out the file from her briefcase. “I’m assuming you’re here for this,” she offered, handing over the file. She shuddered as his hand brushed lightly against hers. Working with this man was becoming torture. Harmon Rabb Immunity 101 hadn’t been a class offered at OCS. She needed to suck it up fast or he was going to start asking questions. “You were right, Harm. I won that Peterson case last year on a technicality that could work with Carter. I made some notes in there for you.”
Harm scanned the file. “Wow. Very impressive, Marine.”
“Well, I do aim to please.” She new exactly what she was doing; eyes wide, lips pursed, head tilted slightly. But would he take the bait?
Harm’s eyebrows shot up at her little comment. Very cute. He could be cute too. He drew closer to her desk, to her face, delivering his blow with the low, sultry voice reserved entirely for her. “Come to lunch with me. My treat, you know, as a thank you.”
He had completely invaded her personal space. And that look - delicious. Lethal. Mac’s face fell, but not before her cheeks grew flush. Having to decline his offer nearly killed her. “I wish I could, but I’m headed out to Norfolk for a depo. Rain check?”
Harm pulled back, crossing his arms at his chest. “You bet. But, seriously, thanks Mac. You really bailed me out here. Too bad it sounds like your day’s shaping up to be just as peachy as mine.”
She groaned in agreement then stopped suddenly, her eyes twinkling. The playful banter between them was back, in full force. And if that was all he was offering, she was going to do some taking. “Actually, Harm, with a lunch invitation and a complement from you, all within five minutes, I’d say I’m doing pretty well.”
“Oh would you?” he challenged with a sly grin.
She met his gaze, look for look. “Yeah. Now scoot. The Admiral’s waiting.”
“Yes, ma’am.” With a mock salute and wink, he was off. Her little game had been good, almost as good as his. But, there was no denying that he had gotten to her. He paused, flipping the file’s pages like an accordion. The truth was, games weren’t enough anymore. It was time to close the deal. And if Sarah Mackenzie could get that worked up about a nearly innocent lunch invitation and tiny, but duly deserved, complement, what he had in store for her was likely to send her straight to the cardiac unit at Bethesda.
Monday 1830 Hours
Rabb Residence
Harm sat on the edge of his bed that faced his closet unit. He’d only been home for a few moments before coming in, reaching way in the back, and pulling out an old athletic shoe, one of the dingy pair he kept for painting or changing motor oil. Renee never would have looked there. She never would have found the small item stuck deep in the shoe, almost to the toe. Her finding the item would surely have elicited a conversation he would’ve given anything to avoid. Anything.
But, to his luck, Renee’s timely exodus from his life never gave her the chance to find it. He sighed, pulling out the velvet box from a zip lock bag, just holding it, still closed in his hand. He laughed as he remembered the phone call months before, the very day he’d returned from Minnesota.
The conversation had started out not unlike previous phone calls to his mother. After getting through the obvious formalities – yes, his recovery was going well, no he wasn’t overdoing it, and politely inquiring about herself and Frank, he’d taken a deep breath and dove in head first.
“Mom, uh, I was wondering if you could send me the ring.” By the end of that simple request his palms were sweaty, his stomach in knots. This, coming from the skilled trial attorney who’d faced countless tense situations in the courtroom. This, from the fighter pilot who seemed to make it his mission to prove that cats weren’t the only creatures with nine lives. But all of those situations paled in comparison to the grilling he was likely to receive from Patricia Rabb Burnett.
“Well, Harm, of course I’ll send it. You’ve always known Grandma Sarah’s ring was waiting for you, but, to be truthful, I hadn’t realized you and that Peterson girl were, well, headed in that direction.” There was a hesitant tone to his mother’s voice. She wanted details. Immediately.
Harm paused before continuing. This was it, no turning back. He’d say it, then just deal with the avalanche afterwards. “Mom,” he began quietly, “it’s not…the ring’s not for Renee. In fact, I’m thinking of breaking it off with her. I just, well, I just want to have it here.” He closed his eyes and waited.
After a slight pause, she spoke, “Well, all right, darling. I’ll send it out as soon as I can.”
Harm’s eyes shot open. That was it? Who was this woman and what had she done with his mother?
“Oh, Harmon, one more thing.” Her voice was light, innocent.
“Yeah Mom.”
“Give that Marine Colonel a hug and kiss from me.”
Smiling again at the memory, Harm opened the box to reveal a nearly flawless one carat solitaire. Soon after receiving it, he’d had it reset in an elegant platinum band with tiny rows of princess cut diamonds on each side. It was incredible. At the time, he hadn’t known when, but he’d known one thing for sure. This ring was meant for only one woman. And that brutal crash that had damn near killed him, in some twisted way, had given him a second chance with her.
Harm’s second chance nearly died that fateful day on the Guadalcanal. Sure, he had come to her. But he had left there a coward; so afraid of feeling, of letting go that his half ass attempt at real communication did nothing to break through the wall of hurt and questions that had separated them. He had truly let her down. At this, the ring stayed hidden, deep within the shoe. Hidden, this time, from himself.
Harm’s smile faded. He stood, walking into the living room, stopping in front of the window. The ring was out now, heavy in his hand, in his heart. The risk he was about to take was the greatest ever in his life. It was romantic and rash, and yeah, it was totally crazy. But why the hell shouldn’t he do it? He’d spent so much time walking on pins and needles around this woman; so much time flirting, dancing a dance that had paused at friendship and needed a serious push. This was as serious of a push as he could find. No, he didn’t quite have the words yet. But he realized that the words would come. They would have to. Because in the end, all that really mattered was that he had spent so much time loving Sarah Mackenzie.
Tuesday 1730
McMurphy’s Tavern
“You’re going to do WHAT?” Sturgis nearly sprayed his beer on two lovely women sitting on the opposite side of him at Harm’s last statement.
“You heard me, Sturgis,” Harm muttered. It would take a minute for the bomb he’d dropped to settle in.
Sturgis put down the beer. Not another sip of alcohol until he got to the bottom of this one. “Yeah, I heard you just fine. Geez, where did this come from? You’ve been holding out on me. I mean, I didn’t know you guys were even seeing each other.”
Harm took a deep breath. Okay, time to get real. “Technically, we’re not.”
Sturgis’ eyebrows were raised so high they were threatening to overtake his hairline. “You mean to tell me that you’re just going to waltz over there like any of the other times before saying, ‘Hey Mac, you forgot this file at work, and, uh, by the way, will you marry me?’ Or, how about this one, ‘Mac, lets split a pizza then we’ll carpool to the airport. Then we can stop in Vegas and get married on the way back.’ Talk about shooting first and asking questions later!” He was now laughing hysterically.
Harm rested his chin in his hands. “It’s not like that, Sturgis.”
Sturgis quit laughing instantly, whipping his head around to face Harm. Whoa. He was really serious about this. Sure, anyone around those two would have to be blind not to notice the spark between them. Shoot, Harriet had talked him into joining the office pool not three days after Mac had returned from TAD. But was he hearing this right? Was Harm actually going to finally get off his six and doing something about it? And to go all the way, just like that? “Okay, Harm, talk. What brought this on?”
Harm chose his words carefully. “Sturgis, this thing with Mac and I is unique, and, well that’s an understatement. It’s been six years. Mac and I have made so many mistakes I’ve stopped counting. But, it’s always been there between us. It’s always been her and I’m so sick of waiting. The feelings, the innuendos, the looks we share are way beyond our control. But there’s more there besides attraction and flirting. I love her, big time. Part of me always has. And Mac deserves something special, you know, something extraordinary. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous as hell. I mean, you and I both know this stunt could land me right on my six in a bad way.”
Sturgis nodded, beginning to understand. He thought back to the little slip Mac had made to him some months before. He wanted nothing more than to let his buddy in on his little secret. But Sturgis Turner had given his word and he’d meant it. Besides, it appeared that Harm was doing just fine on his own. “Harm, something tells me the last thing Mac’s going to do is beat you up. Now, she very well might faint on you, but I have a feeling this is gonna work.”
Harm stared him down. “Why, do you know something I don’t?”
Sturgis paused. Okay, now to answer without totally lying. “Harm, it’s not that. What you and Mac have, believe me, it’s obvious that there’s something damn right about it. And now that I think about it, this is just your style. Gosh, this is the kind of thing you see in movies that women go crazy over. So just go for it. Get out of here and give that Marine her ring.”
“What, you mean now?”
Sturgis sighed in frustration. “Yes, now. You said it yourself. You two have wasted too much time already. But do me a favor, go home first and clean yourself up. You know, a little cologne couldn’t hurt.”
“Very funny.” Harm rolled his eyes, cracking a smile. “All right. But really, thanks, Sturgis. You’re a good friend,” he said sincerely, tossing some money on the bar.
“Oh, Harm...” Sturgis punched his arm.
“Yeah.”
His tone was serious, genuine. “This thing you’re doing, it’s all right, man. And save me a spot in the wedding?”
Harm nodded, smiling. “You can count on it.”
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