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Date Posted: 22:06:04 12/28/02 Sat
Author: Hysteria
Subject: Getting Out Of Trouble (Prelude to Match Roleplay)
In reply to: Hysteria 's message, "Drinking and Driving" on 22:13:58 12/27/02 Fri

....Hysteria and Tommy don't really seem to be too nervous...After all, it's not illegal to drink in the back of a limo...The driver is freaking out, however, and sweat keeps falling from his forhead...The officer makes it up to the window and the driver rolls it down and automatically holds out his license and regristration...The cop looks at the license, then up at the driver, and back down at the license...


Officer Fookheir: Son, are you sure your name is Habeeb Alibooba? You look more like you're from the farm than from the sands..


"Habeeb" opens his mouth then immediately shuts it again and fidgets in his chair...He turns back to look for support from the guys...Tommy has passed out unnoticed, and Hysteria looks back at "Habeeb"...Hysteria then leans forward to talk to the cop through the window..


Hysteria: Piggy? I smell bacon....Ohh hey, sorry..It's just you...Umm...Officer..F*cker!?...Holy crap!!!! Dude, that's sweet...Wait, it can't possibly be pronounced that way right?


Officer Fookheir: Shut it, wiseass...I'm a cop, not a farm animal...and it is pronounced Foo..Ck...Air.....Now, as I was sayi...


The long arm of the law meets the quick tongue of the resistent Hysteria...Fookheir's face turns red as he is interrupted by Hysteria, who is still leaning forward and talking..


Hysteria:Scuse me..I would like to know why you pulled us over? As you can tell just by looking at me, and definately at my piss drunk passed out cousin...We are wasted...But, looking at this wonderful limo driving dude right here, what do ya think? No bloodshot eyes, no slurred speech...he must not be drunk..


The cop leans over closer to the window and grabs "Habeeb's" sleeve and sniffs it..


Officer: Then why does he smell like whiskey...Wait, that's not just whiskey...there's also some...umm...


Hysteria:Vodka...Look, if it makes you happy....Take "Habeeb" to jail....We were here in the back with the window up and had no idea what he was doing so we are innocent....


Officer: No can do...All three of you are going to have to come with me...Especially you.


He points at the driver who sort of backs away scared..Hysteria pats him on the shoulder then looks back at the officer...


Hysteria: Okay, let me ask you a question...It's a simple one, and it doesn't really matter..But if you answer it truthfully....And believe me when I say I will know if you lie...We will all get out and cooperate like you want us too.....I've kicked alot of people's asses for lying, and just because you're a cop doesn't matter.....If you lie, I will be going to jail for a while..


Officer: Well, what's the damn question then?


Hysteria: Do you like your boss??...It's a simple yes or no question....But humor me and expand on it....


He ponders the question...and with a nervous look on his face responds...


Officer: He's okay...I don't mind him as my boss....Just a little pushy sometimes....


Hysteria: That's it? You sure.....You look a little apprehensive....Maybe you could use some...encouragement?


Hysteria raises his fist so the cop can see it....Shiny brass knuckles.....Fookheir draws his gun and points it at Hysteria....Hysteria points behind him to Tommy, who's holding a glock with a laser right on the cops head (and is also laying in his own puke)....Officer Fookheir lowers his gun and trembles then starts to pour out alot of stuff from inside...


Officer: ...Okay, okay!! I Hate MY FRICKING JOB!!! I just now got my car after being suspended for 4 months...I did all the paperwork and everytime something was misspelled or misplaced I got b*tched at by my boss...He's a power hungry, self absorbed, worthless piece of crap, just like my father!!.....I can't believe I said that....But, I feel...


Hysteria: Better..?


The bacon nods...then shows a weak smile..


Officer: Thank you...You can just go..


Limo Driving Dude:...Go? We can?....Woo, I almost crapped my pants.....And by the way, my name is Habeeb......I was adopted.....


Habeeb rolls up the window and drives off...Looking back they see the cop get back into his car and wipe his eyes....Habeeb glances back at Hysteria then back to the road...Tommy has passed out again...


Habeeb: Sir, thanks for helping me out...I just got too nervous.....But I have to ask you something...What was the thing about if he likes his boss for?


Hysteria smiles then points up to the roof of the car...A small, barely noticeable camera is attached...and pointed straight towards the driver side window...


Hysteria: Insurance my good man...Insurance..


Habeeb nods and smiles himself..Hysteria's cell phone rings just then and he looks at the screen to see who is calling, then rolls up the window seperating himself from the driver...Hysteria lights a cigarette, then answers the phone...




The Phone Conversation (Match Material) Coming Soon


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