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Subject: re: Went to see my daughter


Author:
Tammy
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Date Posted: 06:44:28 06/04/07 Mon
 Well I went to see my daughter Sat. and I think that it was one of the biggest mistakes that I could have made. Everything went really good until we did the family session. Basically my daughter told everyone there that I was a horrible mother and was an alcoholic and that I had no right to take her baby away from her because I was just as bad as her when I was younger except that I didn't do the drugs. She also said that I had a bunch of boyfriends and that the boy friends did bad things to her. She also told everyone that I have not been there for her except for the past couple of months. I of course was so dumbfounded by all of this that I didn't get too many words in my self. It was embarring, and degrading to sit there and have her do that.

The truth about all of this, first of all when my daughter wsa about 15 she said that her dad molested her. I tried to get her into counseling but she wouldn't talk to anyone and she ended up getting pregant soon after so she really never delt with it. Now she is saying that by boyfriends did bad things to her...I don't know what to think about the whole abuse thing, I wouldn't doubt that she was molested byt the way she is but by who I don't think she even knows. When my daughter was 4 yrs old I got divorced. For about a year I went off the deep end and drank too much not around the kids though I was working a second shift so the kids were at the babysitters when I would get off of work and go out sometimes. Most of the time I was too tired to do anything. And yes I did have some boyfriends but I don't remember having them around the kids too much because usually I was either working or taking care of them and the weekends that the kids would go to their dad's was the weekends that I would do the most partying. I also had a wonderful mother that would come and spend time with me a lot and help out. Which by the way that wonderful mother told me to either straighten it up or she was going to take the kids, I did because I knew she would. I was not the perfect parent but I worked and supported my kids for 6 years on my own and I also put myself through college and got a degree. My daughter made it sound like I was this horrible person that didn't care about any of them.

I feel like I was set up and that she was just waiting to do this. The reason I say this is because before the family group time she told me that it was family group time and asked me if I was nervous, when I told her no she said that I should be because this was the time when you get to spill your guts to everyone. Why would she do this? And why after I drove 3 almost 4 hours to see her would she do this? Is this part of recovery where you take the people who love you and tear them down? She is angry about the fact that I adopted her baby and told everyone that I didn't give her a second chance....we gave her over 2 years to get it togeather.... I know that part of it is the guilt trip and thank God I have such wonderful parents that were able to tell me that I was not a horrible person or I would have fallen for the guilt trip big time...actually I did for awhile until I could call them and talk about it. I am just mad and hurt that she would ask me to come all the way up there if she was this angry. I know that in family group time you are suppose to get things out but there was not one word of thanks or praise it was just total put down. Like I said I know that I wasn't the perfect parent and I know that I made a lot of mistakes but like I told everyone there no one has had the perfect childhood and it is up to you to make something of your life. Sorry I went on for so long but I just had to get this out. Thanks, Tammy
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Replies:
Subject Author Date
Re: re: Went to see my daughterHeather09:46:53 06/04/07 Mon
Re: re: Went to see my daughtersusan18:00:48 06/04/07 Mon

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