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Subject: Addicts Anger


Author:
Shelly
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Date Posted: 13:34:52 12/15/06 Fri

My 12 yr old opened up to me last night about the last time that she spent time with her dad (June). At the time she was not aware he had a drug problem, and I was just starting to suspect he had started using again after he was clean for a few months. Anyway -She told me in great detail how mean he was to her. He took her to a fair and when she wanted to eat something, he freaked out on her and yelled and screamed at her b/c she asked him for $ to go order something to eat. She said he yelled at her that it was HIS money and NO she can not have it, he will buy it for her etc. She told me how the entire night and all the next day he yelled at her for no reason and went into screaming fits. All the while, his young girlfriend (21 yrs old -he is 37) was over and he was sweet and kind to her but pure mean to his daughter. She told me how he went into rants and raves and everytime he even looked at her he said something mean. Mind you -this was the FIRST TIME he had ever taken her to a fair, and it was only the 3rd or 4th time she had ever agreed to spend the night at his house. She was trying to get to know him and build a relationship with him -and this was how he treated her. She told me more specifics I won't get into -but bottom line is he really emotionally abused her. Of course, she now knows this behavior was b/c of the drugs, but listening to her talk about it, I could see that wound has not yet healed. She also expressed to me how mad she is at him that he made her so many promises that he never kept and how she doesn't care to ever see or speak to him again in her life. She even said "He has scarred me for life" :(
It was so hard to hear how he has hurt her. But, it also made me realize how right I was when I told him that until he has a long standing of recovery he is not to contact me nor her. It made me realize that although I wanted her to have her daddy and to have a good relationship with her daddy -she is better off without him in her life to further screw her up -especially if he continues the pattern of getting clean then using again. It is sad that she will not ever have a relationship with her dady -but it would be even sadder if I allowed her to be further hurt and damanged by allowing him to stay in her life with his disfunctions and addictions.
P.S. What is it about the meth that makes the user so angry and aggressive? Is it when they are high or when they are coming down that this anger appears? I began to know his pattern of when he was starting to use again b/c when he was on drugs he became verbally abusive to me -when he was clean he would apologize and he and I would be the best of friends -then he would express his intense anger towards me and I would know he was using again. What about meth causes that???

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Re: Addicts AngerHeather19:15:43 12/15/06 Fri


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