| Subject: Re: Who Do They Think They're Fooling??? |
Author:
Hulalea
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Date Posted: 19:29:07 06/12/06 Mon
In reply to:
Kim
's message, "Re: Who Do They Think They're Fooling???" on 18:34:47 06/12/06 Mon
Kim,
I think Shari's statement was more meant toward a meth user's decision-making process WHILE using. There is absolutely no way for anyone to be able to make any kind of trustworthy and solid decisions WHILE using. Especially if it's geared toward the care of children. Come on now, you know the last thing an addict thinks about is anything else BUT themselves so why trust them with judgements of helpless, innocent children. I have heard of situations of an addict slamming his kid to pieces against a wall because he forgot it was the kid and thought it was a bat while trying to hit at the cops. I've also heard of an addict prostituting her 2 year old daughter because she was so "gone" that no one wanted to use her, or what about the guy that shot his son point blank because he thought his son was the devil? To minimize this drug is to minimize the evil and the enemy. The posession that takes place while using is exactly a description of being "possessed". In family situations, because I have experienced it from my husband, my brother and also saw my parents going through it, the family has to detach - one way or the other. If the addict does not respect that detachment then something has to be done. You can't have EVERYONE being swallowed up in this insanity and everyone getting sick, sick, sick. I have seen the destruction too many times when we were told to "hang on, support me, I'll quit". I have seen family members lose their homes, cars, etc. because of the addict blaming and saying that they don't care, etc. I think it is very important to see the situation with correct lenses from another view. Not the addicts view in this case. I feel that if and when the addicts are ready to clean up and make a definitive change (years, not weeks) then it can be time for the restoration and strengthening. There are volumes that I could tell about this not only in my own experience but in the years that I have seen and worked with families.
"Intentions" (talking the talk) and "efforts" (walking the walk) are two COMPLETELY different things. I have been told by many, many recovering addicts that it took years before their families trusted them enough to be back into their lives and they see that they themselves are to blame.
They are also humble enough to never expect anyone to give them any trust until they put forth stable, consistent actions with or without any acknowledgement. This is what I call humbled. Which is where true learning and recovery comes in.
God Be with you,
Hulalea
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