| Subject: Am I insane??? |
Author:
Danielle
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Date Posted: 22:03:01 03/06/06 Mon
In reply to:
Misty
's message, "I am Melody's sister" on 16:13:47 03/06/06 Mon
Einstien said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results....
My niece and nephew (sister's kids) are both meth addicts. I filed a dependency petition against my niece and am now foster parent to her daughter. The way things are going there is about a 90% chance her parental rights are going to be severed and I will be adopting Jayd.
Meantime, my nephew Gabe is trying desparatly to get clean. He has been stuggling the last few months - working, riding his bike to work everyday... etc. He is in the constuction trade and his boss let him keep his tools locked in the job site shed because it was pretty impossible to haul them back and forth to work on a bike.
Anyway, his bike was stolen (his roomate later admitted he sold it to pay "for a bag") and the job trailer was broken into, and along with all his employer's stuff, his tools were stolen.
So, after almost 3 months of being clean he faced his problems by going on a 4 day binge.
So, he came to the only one he feels has ever loved him unconditionally - Aunt Nelly (me). I fed him and gave him the couch to sleep on for one night and sent him on his way.
He didn't go far. Next night I discovered he was sleeping in the alley about 100 feet from my back door on an old mattress one of the neighbors discarded. I guess he spent most of the day there as well.
He does not even want to go back to the apartment to get his clothes because he is so afraid of being anywhere near anyone he knows that uses.
Long story short - he has been here for four days. Sleeping and eating mostly. I assigned him the task of cooking dinners which helps me out a lot. I am self employed and work here at home - and take care of a very active toddler and half the time I am sleep deprived because I stay up so late getting my work done. Anyway, the baby has had the stomach flu the last couple of days and Gabe (my nephew) has been a real life saver helping me.
The one thing I can tell you about Gabe is that he has always respected me and our home when he has stayed with us in the past. He would get cleaned up, get a job, help out around the house alot and live here for several months. Always within a few months of moving out he would start to screw up again.
This has been a pattern since he was 5 years old. His mom couldn't deal with him - he would constantly be into trouble. He would come live with me for several months, do great in school, etc. etc. - then move back home with mom - and the cycle would start all over again...
And it seems, even in adulthood, the only time he has stayed clean was when he lived with me - then when he moves out - within a few months he goes down hill again. About three years ago he was here and doing really, really, well. Then his mom starting comming around and asking him to go over to her house and help her with repairs. She convinced him to move in with her (because she needed help with her bills) and pretty soon she had him partying, drinking and smoking pot again. Next thing you know - he was back on meth, lost his job and his mom threw him out.
My sister (his mom) is 52 years old and living "back home" with our 82 year old mother who is supporting her now on her social security income. She can't keep a job, and goes to the bars several nights a week.
And, here I am - 50 years old, on the verge of adopting an 18 month old baby girl, still raising my teenage son Ricky, and "taking care" of my 33 year old nephew. I will feed him, clothe him, shelter him, help him get back on his feet, help him replace his tools (again) help him get a place to live, etc. etc. etc. all the while knowing in the back of my mind that 6 months from when he moves out the cycle will end up repeating itself...
Insanity - that has to be it!
So, tell me what to do different this time. Should I tell him go away - do it by yourself? Should I let him stay and help him again? The big problem I have is with my sister. It seems to me that every time this "kid" gets clean she is one of the ones that helps him right back to his old path...
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