Babies are a life-changing event. -- Talking Circle Alternative

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Date Posted: Tue, 01/28/03 2:28pm
Author: lagirl
Subject: Babies are a life-changing event.
In reply to: one paper kid 's message, "Re: Babies are not puppies" on Tue, 01/28/03 1:44pm

Thank you for your hissy fit.

I have now reaped the reward I expected from daring to go against the conventional wisdom and point out something which people don't want to hear when they are deciding whether or not to reproduce, namely that having a child is a permanent decision, one that affects everything in their lives, sometimes quite negatively.

I have raised 3 sons to adulthood, so I have some experience in this area. It has been quite a ride and there is no doubt in my mind that my sons made me a better person.

But in the course of raising them and meeting their friends and interacting with other parents, I have on occasion been brought to the point of despair by the actions of some people who never should have been parents, who are oblivious to how their actions affect their children, who are in effect still children themselves.

I never questioned whether or not Kangi is a good person. However, very good people conceive children all the time without understanding what they are getting into. Some rise to the challenge and make wonderful parents. Others fail miserably. One problem may be our mobile society. Many people do not live near family, especially older family members, who could help with advice and wise counsel on how to raise a child and just what is involved.

But you are right--that wasn't the question. The actual question was--Is Kangi too old to have a child? That question can't be answered.

All I can do for her is point out what she has stated--that she is currently involved in a relationship of relatively short duration and ask her to consider that when making such a life-changing decision.

Are they both ready to commit fully to a child? Will he be there for her when the going gets tough? Those are important questions and only she can answer them.

Again, I wish her good luck.
lagirl

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Replies:

Re: Babies are not puppies -- CaseynGeneva, Tue, 01/28/03 2:50pm

Re: Babies are not puppies -- lagirl, Tue, 01/28/03 3:50pm

Hope you think GOOD and HARD first!!! -- chahta_ndn_girl0, Thu, 01/30/03 7:34am
- Re: Hope you think GOOD and HARD first!!! -- Sinatihawk, Thu, 01/30/03 9:44am
- Re: Hope you think GOOD and HARD first!!! -- Lupa, Thu, 01/30/03 10:41am
Re: Babies are not puppies -- CaseynGeneva, Fri, 01/31/03 8:02am