| Subject: Episode 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. This took quite a bit of Archive Digging too. |
Author:
Tysharm Inoar
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Date Posted: 17:05:28 03/25/08 Tue
Author Host/IP: 75-134-126-42.dhcp.aldl.mi.charter.com/75.134.126.42
In reply to:
Tysharm Inoar
's message, "Reposting The ORIGINAL Mossflower Parodies" on 16:58:42 03/25/08 Tue
Martin: Hey look! A forest inhabited almost entirely by evil vermin! Looks like the perfect place to lie down and take a nap, whilst there are several dozen weasels looming over me!
Weasels: Man! He saw us! Let's report to that one guy um..
Other Weasels: Ungatt Trunn?
Weasels: No, no. I think he has green eyes or something.
Random Stoat: My favorite color is green!
All Weasels: We hate green! Fire!
Random Stoat: Not fire arrows! They burn with the intensity of a thousand wet noodles!
Weasel: What's a noodle?
Martin (who had gotten away several sentences ago): Some vermin those were. Pffff!
*Gonnf comes dashing out of the woods, carrying a large sack. He hits Martin with it, thinking he's an evil vole.*
Martin: What was that for you little vole?
Gonff: But you're a vole. Not me?
Martin: Your mom's a vole! Burn!
Gonff: My mom's dead though....
Gonff collapses and begins to cry softly.
Martin: What a wuss. OOhhh! A castle crawling with vermin of every assortment and several deadly kittens! Looks like a great hotel!
*Martin crawls through the gate, and walks up the stairs into a room with some cats and a pine marten.*
Martin: Hey, is this where I sign in? Where's my room key?
Tsarmina: Not another one! Lock him up with that crying mouse we found a few minutes ago.
Martin: I requested no room mate! Hey, where are you two dragging me? Why is it dark? I don't like the dark, mold grows there, and mold hurts when you swallow it!
*The two stoats that had been dragging him into the dungeon grabbed his sword, out of annoyance, and slammed it into Verduaga Greeneyes face, who had been following them.*
Stoat: Oops. Here's your sword, you stupid vole!
Martin: I'm not a vole! And how did you break this in half? All you did was hit a skull with it, the skull should be broken not the sword!
*By this time Martin had been thrown into the cell, and the stoats had walked away, leaving Verduaga's supposed carcass to rot. Martin kept freaking out for some time.*
Episode 2
*When we last joined or vole friend*
Martin: Not a Vole!
*he had been locked inside of Kotir, which he thought was a hotel. His sword had been broken in two by Verduaga Greeneyes' face, and he had been complaining for several hours now.*
Martin: Why is it so dark in here? This hotel is horrible! No lighting, no room service, no cable, no swimming pool, no...
*Gonff had been in this cell for a few minutes longer than Martin, and was close to snapping when he started talking about hotels.*
Gonff: Shut up already you stupid vole!
Martin: I'm not a vole!! And who are you?
Gonff: I'm the mouse,
Martin: (whispering) Your mom's a mouse.
Gonff: that you made cry by making Your Mom jokes to.
Martin: Geez, why are all these evil little theif mouse hitting voles so emotional!
Gonff: Mouse hitting... What are you talking about.
Martin: Your mom!
Gonff: Sigh.... Oh well, let's escape.
Martin. I can't. My sword is all broken and pointylike, plus there's a body outside of the door blocking us.
Verduaga: I'm not dead yet!
Martin: Yes you are.
Verduaga: I'm getting better! I can walk!
Gonff: Shut up you.
*Gonff grabs half of Martin's broken sword, and throws it through the door that the stoats had left opened, and Martin was too busy complaining to escape from it. The sword hit Verduaga in the face, and he began singing right as he died.
Verduaga: Ladeedah da doo! Ree bum da dee! Da dee daAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Martin: What kinda hotel has such bad entertainment that little evil shrews kill them?
Gonff: Oh joy, Oh Rapture, my team mate is a total moron, and I've been turned into a shrew apparently.
*Martin and Gonff leave the dungeon calmly, walking up the stairs. Before they do, Martin grabs half of his sword, now all bloody, from the still alive somehow Verduaga.*
Verduaga: Hey.. can I come with youAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!
Episode 3
When we last left our shrew and vole team...*
*Martin and Gonff come into view and start screaming.*
Martin: Will you just shut up with the shrew vole stuff? We're Mice! 'Cept for Gonff's mom...
Gonff: Yeah we're mice! And wait what! You jerk! I told you to quit it with the your mom stuff!
Martin: Fine, I'll stop already! (in a whisper) Your mom told you to quit it with the your mom stuff....
*Gonff and Martin have just escaped from the dungeon, after hitting Verduaga with a broken sword. He is seen crawling up the stairs, whining like a baby.*
Verduaga: C'mon guys... Take me with you. I hate this place...
Martin: Why would you hate your own hotel? Even if the entertainment get's hit with swords by the guests.
*Gonff rolls his eyse, seeing Martin is still up to that nonsense.*
Verduaga: It's not a hotel, and I hate this place... My daughter accidently poisoned my wife for crying out loud!
Martin: Wife? I thought that dude was your son!
Verduaga: He was you nitwit. Why do you think I don't have a wife anymore.
*Gingivere, comes into view, being led by a weasel and a stoat wearing party hats, heading for the dungeons.*
Weasel Guard: You know, that cake was good stuff!
Stoat Guard: Yeah, especially when she put poison in half of the pieces, and her own stinking brother gets one. Wait, why were those sprinkles all bad tasting? And why did she put it only on our pieces.
Weasel Guard: What sprinkles? D'ya mean the ones that I asked for?
Stoat Guard: You idiot! That was poison! Why else do you think we........
*Stoat Guard passes out, and falls on Weasel Guard. Weasel Guard then passes out.*
Gingivere: Little help here! I'm not passed out anymooooofff!
*Verduaga had punched Gingivere with his only operable limb, his right arm.*
Verduaga: Shut up ya' wussy wimp! I told you never to accept cake from strangers!
Gingivere: But daddy, I know who my sister is!
*Before Verduaga could answer, they were swept up by the janitor, a fox, and tossed into the dungeon's trash hole.*
Gonnf: That was what I would call close, DON'T!
*Gonff points to Martin who had opened his mouth in preperation for the obvious your mom joke.*
Martin: Whatever. Hey look! A bunch of tree rats! Maybe we can kill them!
Gonff (peering out window): You buffoon! Those are called squirrels, and I'm pretty sure they want to rescue us or something.
Martin: Martin the Warrior needs no rescuers! Yaaaaaa!
*Martin flings himself out of the window, landing onto the bushes below, and hitting a big badger in the process. Gonff followed suit, because the suirrels looked like they thought that the mice were vermin, again.*
Badger: Who just threw two small pebbles at me? Answer, for I am Bella!
Martin: Your mom's Bella! Ohooo! Burn!
Gonff: 'Sup Bella. Ignore that moron, he claims I'm a vole for crying out loud.
Bella: What? You're not a vole?
Martin: NO! MICE ARE NOT VOLES! NOW SHUT UP ABOUT IT!!
Gonff: No need to yell Mr. Shouty Mcshoutington. So, I'm assuming you're here to take us to your little treehouse thingie?
Bella: What? I was eating dirt and truffles. Why else would I be crouching in a bush outsite of a caslte,
Martin: It's a hotel, you know.
Bella: of evil?
Gonff: Whatev's. I'ma gonna go throw this stone at the tree rats, kay?
Martin: Meh, they're always evil. Where's this tree hotel badgerlady person?
Bella: Ok first, I'm Bella, second, it's not a hotel, and third, shut up. Follow me.
*Suddenly two tiny hedgehogs pop up. Their spikes have a pattern, which oddly says, Ferdy and Coggs.*
Ferdy: Why would we need to folla' you?
Coggs: Yeah, we came here to eat mushrooms, trufles, AND dirt.
Episode 4
*When we last left our erm, heroes, if you could call them that, they had landed on a large badger and eaten squirel meat...*
Gonff: I see this moronic narrator is still up to this bupkis. Dude, I only hit the tree rats with rocks, and they all lived.
Martin: Just ignore him, he'll probably do that every time.
Outside of (Hotel) Kotir in the bushes....
Bella: You two wanna come back to Brockhall? I got all the dirt and truffles I needed...
Martin: Hey monitor lizard,
Gonff: Dude, that's not even funny anymore.
Martin: Whatever, hey Gonff then. Does this crazy old white furred wolverine always dig for truffles and dirt?
Gonff: More or less, at least here in the Kotir Bushes.
Ferdy: Can we leave now?
Coggs: Yeah, we got all the trufshroomdirt we needed.
*Gonff rolls his eyes, and Martin stomps on a bug.*
Bella: Shut up you moronic weasels!
Martin: I saw a weasel pass out up there!
Bella: That's not the point! Follow me, before I lose my patience.
Gonff: Bella, that stuff was lost when you were born.
*They traipse through the woodlands, Martin still stomping bugs.*
Bella: Here we are! Brockhall!
Martin: Looks like a tree to me. What fun. We only passed thousands to get here!
Bella: Are you stupid or blind or something? There's a door right there.
*Bella opens the door, and three snakes pop out.*
Three Snakes: We are the...
Bella: Wrong storyline stupids!
*Bella picks them up and throws them somewhere into the trees.*
Bella: How'd everyone get inside Brockhall so quickalike?
Inside Brockhall...
Ferdy and Coggs: 'Dis is Rockhall!
Martin: Gonff, are you the only sane one in this place?
Gonff: More or less, hey look! Earth rats come to invade Brockhall! Kill!
Martin: Yay! Kill!
*The earth trembles lightly, and an "earth rat" pops up out of it.*
Earth Rat: 'Ello good zurrs!
Martin: Learn to talk right you stupid earth rat!
Bella: Sigh..... Killing the earth rats again, eh Gonff?
Gonff: No, he has escaped. But there's this mole here! Funny how they always show up when earth rats do...
Episode 5
When we last...
*Martin and Gonff glare at the narrator, a tall shrew with the nametag, Tysharm on.
Um, when we last left our MICE,
*Martin and Gonff relax.*
they had combated the Earth Rats, and the white furred wolverine,
Bella: Don't you start on me, stupid.
had eaten the remaining truffledirt. They were currently in Brockhall, and the narrator is annoying. Wait, Martin! This is worse than the your mom jokes!
Martin (in the background): Your mom is worse than those your mom jokes! Burn!
Earth Rat: 'Ello good zurrs, I bes Dinny. I can eats...
Martin: What did we say about talkin right, you stupid earth rat thing?
Dinny: But I can't zurrs, moi moley tongue won't allows it!
Martin: Talk right, or you'll end up like Verduaga over there.
*Martin points to their alternate universe devise, focused on Verduaga in the dumpster in Hotel Kotir.*
Verduaga: Why is this person so obsessed with hotels? Oh jeez, not again!
*Trash tumbles down from the fox janitor, still blissfully unaware of the fact that the leader was still in the dumpster.*
Gingivere: What about me? I'm still in he...
*Martin zips up the alternate universe device.*
Martin: Hey look! More bugs to squash!
Gonff: I'm not a bug you moron!
Martin: Your mom's not a bug, and um... she has blisters!
Gonff: Oh great, prancibald over there is making up jokes now.
Martin: Shut up you stupid monitor voleshrew!
Gonff: Seriously Martin, they aren't funny anymore.
Martin: Look! Acorns! And they look happy!
Gonff: Those are tree rats stupid, and they look angry. At me!
Meanwhile back at,
Verduaga: I don't know how many times we have to intervene, but quit the nonsense!
I was going to say Kotir! A party was going on in honor of Tsarmina's ruling.
Tsarmina: Did everyone like the cake?
*All of the assorted vermin within the hall, all wearing party hats, nodded.*
Tsarmina: Good, because half of the pieces had poison in it! It makes you pass out for a bit, then you're content with eating only air! (thinking) This'll solve that ration problem, hee hee.) And to drive the point home, here are some examples!
*Stoat and Weasel guards are pulled in, making eating motions with their hands. Although they were actually eating it*
Stoat Guard: This is some tasty air!
Weasel Guard: No, no. You're eating worthless things, like fish, and shrimp, and cakes. That's what we have to breathe!
Tsarmina: Oh boy, this could end badly.
Will Martin stop being lame?
Will Gonff meet Columbine?
Why did Tysharm start doing this lame question thing?
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