| Subject: Episodes 6, 7, 8. Sadly, these were cut off. It involves lawyers, hacksaws, and squirrels. Lots of hacksawed squirrels. |
Author:
Tysharm Inoar
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Date Posted: 17:11:24 03/25/08 Tue
Author Host/IP: 75-134-126-42.dhcp.aldl.mi.charter.com/75.134.126.42
In reply to:
Tysharm Inoar
's message, "Reposting The ORIGINAL Mossflower Parodies" on 16:58:42 03/25/08 Tue
Tysharm: When we last left our mice,
*Martin and Gonff look away quickly, as they had been glaring for no reason at Tysharm.*
Tysharm: they had been eating several weasel pies, along with tree rat meat.
Gonff: Sigh, even the narrator has gone insane.
*Martin barely stifles a giggle, holding a marker behind his back, and a copy of Tysharm's script.*
Dinny: We shoulds be a havin' a feastie for arl of the beasties whor helpored you two escapens!
Martin: Earthy,
Dinny: It be Dinny zurr!
Martin: Whatever. Dinny, you do realize Gonff and I escaped with no help at all right?
Gonff: Yeah, all stripey over there did was eat dirt!
Martin: And these two little spike things only ate dirt too!
*Suddenly the door to Brockhall comes bursting open, and water rats, tree rats, earth rats, and some spike rats came into Brockhall.*
Tysharm: Martin! Quit messing with my script! I don't like it!
Martin: You knew this was comin' spikey! Your mom doesn't like it!
Skipper: Um...ok then.
*Skipper picks up a lance, and puts it between his teeth. Then he snaps it in half.*
Martin: Oh big tough guy. Well watch this!
*Martin picks up a stick of cheese, puts it inbetween his teeth, and snaps it in half, or at least tries.*
Martin: Oh jeez, this hoses!
Gonff: Stop trying Martin, you're just embarrising yourself.
*Ferdy and Coggs dash in, along with Dinny, and run into the fireplace.*
Bella: Stupid spike rat things. Always bumpin' into stuff in my house. Grr.
*A piece of paper pops out of the fireplace, and there are words on it.*
Dinny: Oh lookie! Moi favorite! A piece of papery thin breads! Yummity!
*Bella snatches the paper away from him.*
Bella: Has everyone here gone insane? This is a map to Salamandastron?
Gonff: What's that anyway? Some kinda salamander that's stron(g)?
Martin: I like salamanders.
*Martin sticks a salamander kabob in his mouth, chewing vigorously.*
Ferdy: I like pies!
Coggs: An' I like to eat dirt!
Martin: Maybe it's a dirt mountain, or strong dirt, or something.
*Bella buries her face in her paws.*
Bella: Why do all the idiots have to come here? Why?
Back at Hotel Kotir...
*Tysharm cringes and waits for Verduaga to chastise him.*
Tysharm: Phew, no Verduaga this time.
*Verduaga comes puffing out from the stairs, dragging himself along with his right arm.*
Verduaga: It takes me a while! I only have one operable limb!
Tysharm: Moving on, in the gathering hall of Kotir...
Tsarmina: Yeah, captain?
Captain: Yeah? What is it Tsar?
Tsarmina: Don't call me that, I'm not Russian. Anyway, should we lock the loony vermin up?
Captain: They'd die in about minutes probably.
*Tsarmina had just poisoned half of her vermin with a substance that allows them to only eat air. Unfortunately, they have to breathe food.*
Captain: Sure, whatever. C'mon loonies!
*All assortments of vermin come following him, eating the air while they can.*
(Tune in next time for a funnier tale! Maybe Verduaga will die? Or will he???)
MEANWHILE
(This is a deleted scene ????? involving Gingivere, it was considered not funny enough by several beasts (a cat, and a gecko/hamster), and was cut from the final version.)
Gingivere: Wait up dad? I'm still ali... Foomf!
*The door slammed in Gingivere's face. The janitor thinks he's a dead bird, and throws him out the window.*
Gingivere: Pretty long fall. Maybe I'll get me a nice non poison farm, some sprinklers, a girlfriend. Might work Might work..
*Gingivere hits the ground, and blood pours slightly over the bushes.*
Episode 7
Tysharm: I was frolicking through the sewers the other day, and a muck monster handed me a sword, oh, and Gonff/Martin were hanging out in Brockhall.
*Gonff turns to look at Martin, and then looks at his paws. Nothing in them.*
Martin: What? I didn't do anything this time!
*Martin pushes away a muck monster costume to under the table with his footpaw.*
Bella: So anyway, we should probably figure out a way to get to Salamandastron.
Gonff: Bella, were you even paying attention AT ALL?
Bella: Oh yeah, we found a map. So when you get there, remember to ask for Boar.
Martin: Lady, if you're gonna just get a BOAR to help us, can't we just go find one instead of trekking halfway across the world?
Skipper: I think Boar is his name.
Martin: Well then whoever named him was a moron. For boars are clearly not badgers.
Dinny: Can oi bes a comin with yous?
Martin: Providing you learn to talk correctly, yes.
Dinny: Me tarlks correctlies? That's umporsible!
*Ferdy and Coggs unzip the teleportation zipper.*
Coggs: C'mon, let's go to the dungeons and make them find us!
Ferdy: Tee hee! Shouldn't we have someone count foist though?
Coggs: No.
*Ferdy and Coggs jump through and they land in the dungeons, landing next to Verduaga, who had been locked in there mistaken for an evil vole.*
Verduaga: Oh look! Spikey things falling from the sky. Must be next Tuesday already. Mahhhahahahhaaa!
Ferdy. I don't likes 'dis guy.
Coggs: Why did your speaking abilities change?
Verduaga: Hee hee! The spike goblins are talking about weasels again...
*Martin notices the zipped open teleporter, and decides to close it and no one will know about this little incident.*
Episode 8
Tysharm: I'm prepared for your tricks THIS time Martin, I've prepared a backup script.
*A brown paw hands him the backup script. His paw is similar to size of Martin.*
Tysharm: Now, when we last left our heroes, Stupid and Coggs go themselves locked in Kotir, and Martin, Gonff, and Dinny were leaving for Salamandastron. Achpppppppppppth!
*Water appears out of nowhere, and sprays Tysharm in the face.*
Martin: I didn't do anything this time!
*Bella pushes a hose behind the table with HER footpaw.*
Gonff: So, we just head west and we'll get there eventually?
Dinny: Oi sure bes hopin' so!
Martin: What did we say about speaking correctly! I have a broken sword that is bloody....
Dinny: Oi can'ts be changin' moi voice though zurrs.
*Martin, Gonff, and Dinny went on like this for some time. By the time they were done, they arrived at the exit of Mossflower.*
Gonff: The exit sign is new. Where did that come from?
Dinny: Oi puts it up, sos we can find the roight way outta heore.
Martin: Your mom can find the.. um whatever nonsense you just said.
Back at Kotir....
Verduaga: The gumdrops are coming. They're coming to get you....
Ferdy: So Coggs, wanna dig a hole out of here?
Coggs: Eh, sure why not? Better than sitting by an insane kitten.
Verduaga: Kittens make excellent sources of moss sandwiches. I've been told mold hurts when you swallow it.
*Gingivere, who had escaped in a deleted scene, is wandering through Mossflower. Skipper tackles him.*
Skipper: Take this Verduaga! And that too! This one's for you and this one's for your mother!
Gingivere: I'm not Verduaga. Last time I saw him he was yammering to some hedgehog babies that fell from the sky.
Skipper: Hedgehog babies? I think we lost some of those! I'll check with Bella, she keeps track of those annoying little foodstuffs.
Gingivere: Ewwwwww.
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