| Subject: heyo, you know what? I LOVED IT! Esp. the line 'Do not react to this message. You are being watched.' I was in the library and I laughed out loud and a librarian shushed me! |
Author:
Pudding
|
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Date Posted: 10:01:19 08/21/08 Thu
Author Host/IP: nat-192-168-0-0.cml.lib.oh.us/66.213.29.2
In reply to:
Redtail
's message, "Ep. 1, inside" on 19:13:18 07/15/08 Tue
>A sunny day, over the hill, behind the rainbow, etc.
>etc.
>
>BJ is sitting in his chair, busily pretending to type.
>
>**phone rings**
>BJ: Hello?
>Publisher: It's the publisher.
>BJ: I kinda knew that, with the name in front of your
>line and all.
>Publisher: Yeah whatever, but we need a a new script
>for a book, in, oh say, twenty minutes?
>BJ: Twenty minutes, huh? Might be tough.
>Publisher: You did Eulalia in fifteen.
>BJ: Yeah, well, no one was expecting it to be good,
>anyway. *sighs* I'll do my best.
>Publisher: May the Force be with you. *hangs up.*
>BJ: Let's see, I need an idea.
>
>Meanwhile, in Mossflower, Matthias and Cluny are
>shopping for clothes.
>
>Matthias: C'mon, hurry up! We've got to get you a
>proper outfit.
>Cluny: Why? I don't need any clothes.
>Matthias: You can't be a proper rat warlord if you're
>just wearing rags. You need something hot, hip, and
>cool.
>Cluny: I prefer rot, rip and drool, if you ask me.
>Matthias: Well, I'm going to show you some real
>fashion today. You're gonna be the star of the show.
>Cluny: Oh joy.... Oooh look! They have a Rabble Store!
>*rushes over* Wow, a brand new Powersword! The Ratbook
>Air! *hops up and down excitedly* Ohmigosh! The iPatch
>g3!!! Can I get it? Can I can I can I? Pleaaaaaase!
>Matthias: *grabs Cluny by the ear.* Nope. I just got
>you a DreyStation last fall. Hey, there's a Burley
>store. Let's try over there.
>*A mouse comes over*
>Mouse: Hello boys, how can I help you?
>Matthias: My friend here needs a new outfit.
>Mouse: I think I have just the thing! You look like a
>ragged dirty horde style, size 3. *picks a pair of
>very tight jeans off of a rack.* Here we are! I think
>this'll suit you.
>Cluny: That's you're "ragged dirty horde" style?
>Please.
>Mouse: It's the latest fashion.
>Cluny: Can it puncture three inches of flesh?
>Mouse: No...
>Cluny: Can it deflect swords and arrows?
>Mouse: No...
>Cluny: Can it go through the wash three times in a row
>without shrinking?
>Mouse: Yes, actually.
>Cluny: Okay, I'll buy it.
>*Cluny's cell phone rings*
>Cluny: Yo.
>Voice: Do not react to this message. You are being
>watched.
>Cluny: Hi, BJ.
>Voice: BJ? Who is this BJ you speak of? I am Brian
>Jacques.
>Cluny: Yeah.... Brian Jacques... BJ...
>BJ: Oh, yeah. Right. Anyway, I'm creating another
>Redwall book, and you're gonna be the protagonist.
>Cluny: How? Mr. Hero here dropped a church bell on me,
>remember?
>BJ: We can say that stem cell scientists regrew your
>body and Taoist necromancers raised your spirit from
>the dead.
>Cluny: Right.
>BJ: So anyway, the story's about a magic oyster this
>time.
>Cluny: Let me guess. Some noob at Redwall's gonna find
>some ancient text and get visited by the spirit of a
>dead mouse, then go running off into the wilderness to
>find lost treasure. Meanwhile, a vermin horde's gonna
>attack the Abbey, then the hero returns in the nick of
>time with a bunch of short shrews and save the day. Am
>I right?
>BJ:..... Wow. You're good.
>Cluny: you really need to think up some more original
>stories.
>BJ: Okay, how about... A group of young Redwallers
>goes to find the ruins of a lost abbey to find an
>ancient cure.
>Cluny: Done that.
>BJ: Umm... a giant badger finds his destiny in a
>fire-filled mountain.
>Cluny: Nope.
>BJ: A mouse goes north to find the shores of his
>long-lost father.
>Cluny: You've already done all those! Think ORIGINAL.
>BJ:.... A giant squirrel in a robot suit tries to
>destroy the earth, and the beasts must defend their
>home with flying saucers and muffins.
>Cluny: It's a start....
>*suddenly a vole bursts in.*
>Vole: Look out! I giant squirrel in a robot squirrel
>is attacking Tokyo with bowls of extra-hot curry!
>*looks around*
>Vole: Is this the Tokyo Police Department?
>Matthias: No. It's by the post office. In the real
>world. On the other side of it.
>Vole: Oh. *rushes out*
>Matthias: We've gotta do something!
>Cluny: Leave it to me.
>Mouse: Hey! Those jeans cost 500 [insert currency here]
>
>Now for the obligatory....
>
>WILL CLUNY BE ABLE TO SAVE TOKYO IN TIME?
>WILL BJ FINALLY THINK UP A WORTHWHILE STORYLINE?
>WILL THE VOLE ACTUALLY FIND HIS WAY TO THE TOKYO
>POLICE?
>Vole: Yay, I got a mention!
>TUNE IN NEXT TIME!
>
>
>
>anyway, sorry for the really bad quality.
>Feel free to criticize and drown me in a lake full of
>garlic.
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