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Subject: ROTFLMFAO!! I'm glad to know my daughter isnt the only smart ass at this age!


Author:
Lance
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Date Posted: Monday, December 30 2002, 8:36:34 GMT ( - 8 )
In reply to: Mitchell 's message, "Those are pretty good for amateurs, not as good as mine of course! I was thinking, I need to talk to Lewis. I need to get into one of those fancy art schools so I can hone my skills, no need in wasting all this talent!" on Monday, December 30 2002, 4:51:04 GMT ( - 8 )

when she was three I took her to work with me one saturday morning, I used to DJ at this roller skate rink. She had never been there before. My boss, Nancy is a really nice, very strict Catholic lady.Since I was working, we arrived before it opened and Nancy had to buzz us in. So we were in the lobby, I was talkin thru the ticket window to Nancy about the parties that were booked, getting my instructions about what games they wanted, etc and my daughter tries the door and its locked so - and this is the FIRST time my boss ever met her - she says - 3 yrs/ old - "Open the god damn door aready!"

and we both just STOPPED talking and I said, "what honey?" I didn't want to believe what I thought I heard. And she repeated it like it was the most normal thing to say in the world. And Nancy looks at me and says (so that my daughter didnt hear her), "well, I can see that she's YOUR daughter." and I was soooo emarrassed but I say to her(so that my daughter couldn't hear), "noooooo. That's her MOTHER'S daughter. MY daughter would have dropped the "F" bomb!" and walked off! HAHAHA!

Needless to say, I had a talk with her mom to watch how she talked around our daughter. As for my daughter, I didn't embarrass her or anything. So when we were inside, and I was putting on her skates, we were having a friendly conversation and I mentioned that sometimes grownups use grown up words when they are angry and that little girls dont want to say those kind of words. And she said, "Oh, OK Daddy." Of course, she ALWAYS picked up on all the "bad" words as soon as she could talk. Why is that?? They can hear it ONCE and they go around repeating it, singing it, over and over! haha.

My high school band teacher used to come up to the rink every thursday night with his 2 kids and hang around, talk to me. We were good friends. So one night I had my daughter there with me and she was out on the rink with the floor guards - everyone loved to take her around with them while they were working - she was the little mascot of the place!

My teacher wanted to know which one was my kid - and just at that moment - my daughter, who couldn't really skate yet - she just kinda WALKED around out there next to the rail - a couple of bigger kids were racing and they didn't see her in time, so to avoid running over her, they plowed into each other and the rail and fell down - they didn't touch her - but she sat down anyway. HAHA! So I point to the pile up on the floor - they're all getting up and the big kids are helping her stand back up - and we couldn't hear what she was saying but she was so mad and just lecturing them - you could see her just running her little mouth - and her soooo tiny! She was laying down the law! HAAAAHAHA and he says - never mind - I KNOW which one is YOURS! HAHAHAAAA!!

That's right! That's my kid! HAHA! Stands up for herself! She's fearless!

Only now she wants school clothes "just like Britney Spears wears, Daddy" and when she grows up she wants to be a cheerleader. UGH! That's her career choice! A cheerleader! OMG! I'm gonna just shoot myself now!!

She used to be so cool, a little skater baby, with baggy jeans and hoodies, and now she's all pink ruffles, lace, and glitter, frilly, girly, clothes and ribbons in her hair AND - when she was trying on school clothes, she's checking out her butt in the mirror....I swear to God! I almost had a stroke! The saleslady was laughing her ass off at me. My little girl tried on a pair of glitter covered jeans and she's asking me "Do I look fat in these?" Shes only in the FIRST GRADE and she's twisting around from side to side trying to see her butt in the mirror!! It's like a damn nightmare! It's like shopping with JJ! HAHA! My God, she's only in the first grade and she wants to dress like a slut on MTV!!! I'm not ready or this! HAHA!

I am going to be the most conservative Dad ever. The older she gets, the more conservative I become! hahaha! I tried to take her to the Gap to buy some PLAIN jeans and PLAIN tee shirts and she just laughed at me and rolled her eyes and said "ohhhhh Daddy!" like I was senile! Haha!

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Author:
Mitchell
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Date Posted: Monday, December 30 2002, 19:06:47 GMT ( - 8 )

I remember when my son was between 2 and 3 years old. My mom and dad had a vegetable garden that year, he liked to eat banana peppers right out of the garden (now he will only eat things in nugget form). He called them pop picks (I have no idea why LOL!).

My son, my dad, and myself were all in the garden one day. My son said he wanted a pop pick, dad said he would get him one. My son said, “NO! I’ll pull my own damn pop pick!” Dad and I were both trying not to laugh but it was funny as hell!

Mine is fearless as well. You know those rock climbing walls like are setup at fairs, festivals, and things like that? My son has been climbing them since he was 4. When he was that little he would always draw a big crowd, everyone walking by would gather around shoulder to shoulder just trying to see him. He loved the crowd more than the climbing (OMG! He’s going to be like Lance! *gets nervous*) .

The wall has 3 sides: easy, moderate, and difficult. This year when I took him to the fair, the guy was putting the harness on him and my son told the man he waned to go up the hard side. The man was telling him, “No, no you need to go up this side (pointing up the easy side)” My son is yelling at him that he can go up the hard side, he’s done it before. The man looked at me, I nodded my head yes and he let him go.

My son took off up the wall passing all the bigger kids going up the easier sides and rang the bell. That man look at me and said, “Damn! He can climb!” You know, my native language maybe monkey. Because, that boy has definitely has some monkey in him! LOL!

My sone is the same way about clothes that I am, he won’t ware any crap! LOL! My mom bought him this ugly-ass leather-like coat, he wouldn’t ware it! I had to take him to buy a real leather coat, he loves it! Something he does, if another kid in his class has a shirt like he does, no matter how nice it is, he won’t ware it again!

Your daughter wants to be a cheerleader LMAO! When I was in high school I had the funniest relationship with the cheerleaders. When I first started high school I was really shy, one of the girls on the JV cheerleading squad sat beside me in one of my classes. She would flirt with me and I would about crawl under the desk. Apparently she liked that so she got the whole squad in on the action. I would be walking down the hall and meet one of them they would stop, bat their eyes, look up at me, and say in a long drawn out voice, “Hhhhhhiiiiiiii Mitchy!” (Usually followed by a wink or a blown kiss.) If there was ever more than one of them together they would usually hug up together and tell me something like how they were going to take me and make me a man LOL!

On the day of a foot ball game they would wear their cheerleading outfits to school. I only had to de-skirt 2 of them in the halls to get them to stop! LOL

When I was a senor and in band the last few football games the cheerleaders started riding our buses. The way the band boarded the busses was by seniority, senors first. We got on the busses, the cheerleaders were already on the bus and in MY back seat! We argued an fought, I told them they were guest on our busses they could set up front, but they wouldn’t move.

Most people wore their jeans under their uniform, that sucks! I never did, I always brought mine and changed on the bus after the game. No one in band ever thought anything about it. After the game I got in the bus striped down to my underwear they all flipped out! “What are you doing??”


I told them, “I’m getting ready for you, if your going to set in my seat your going to work for it!” They set up front the rest of the trips! LOL!!!

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