The wise human (according to duck rumor, there are at least 6 in the known Universe) should always be prepared and have readily available that which is necessary to sustain both their physical and mental health when they attempt to absorb or comprehend the cosmic wisdom of the Duck.
ADDITIONAL WARNING
If the recipient of this communication reads and attempts to comprehend the contents herein, they do so at their own risk. The duck does not carry liability insurance, therefore the expenses of any medical and or pharmaceutical remedies that the reader may require in an attempt to return to a modicum of sanity after reading beyond this point, shall be at their own expense. Furthermore should the reader find that any of the pharmaceuticals give pleasurable relief to whatever symptoms that may occur, they are encouraged to share their Rx's with the author of this communication (ME). The use of Duck and Communication in the same sentence is considered an oxymoron by most humans.
ADDITIONAL ADDITIONAL WARNING
Be assured that with this latest utilization of a finite quantity of words (although at first glance it would seem that the amount utilized was INFINITE), I have once again staked out my position as a champion of verbosity. Standing on the higher moral ground of a Duck, be assured that I have not denied my usual propensity for the ambiguous utilization of superfluous words, nor my customary inclusion of tautologies throughout every grammatical structure from the diminutive sentence to the capacious paragraph. The cosmic fabric remains strong as I have suffered no metamorphic transition into a taciturn, saturnine Duck. My prolificacy for circumlocutory prose with copious, perhaps voluminous additions of unrelated, repetitive and redundant thoughts shall remain unquestionable. In the entire COSMOS there is no living form capable of the redundancy, the loquacity that I the pleonastically inclined Duck encompass in virtually all my communications with the human specie. Be at rest for the Universe remains safe as long as I the one and only COSMIC DUCK can say in 5,000 words what most humans can communicate in 50!
Although the reader of this communication may be a rare exception (unlikely) to the majority of humankind who more often then not demonstrate an inability to use the grey matter located between their auditory canals, I shall out of habit and questionable sanity communicate as the duck usually does and the contents can be labeled as always, fowl verbosity.
This efficacy of this form of garrulous communication when Duck speaks to human is beyond question. The cranial thickness of the human biped requires redundant input from the senses in order for the input to become a meaningful signal that will eventually be absorbed within the aforementioned but almost always under utilized and often atrophied grey matter. This is understandable to most ducks in that many, perhaps even the majority of humans stress their brains to the limit just handling the necessary involuntary functions of life.
Therefore being the selfless benevolent Duck that I am, I shall continue to attempt to provide such iteration in all my communications with Homo sapiens (as stated above the Duck excludes you from this general statement regarding the intellect of the vast majority of the indigenous beings located on that terrestrial speck of dust commonly referred to as Earth. Your personal exception I might add is without justification, but to do otherwise would be contrary to my superior intellect and exalted status as a Cosmic Duck. Of course all Ducks have numerous qualities such as but not limited to being polite, kind, caring and compassionate to lesser species such as Homo sapiens.
However if you disagree with this categorization of the HuMaNs as a lesser specie who only flourish due to a lack of a sufficient population of large carnivores on this planet to ingest them, I would have to reconsider your exception. Fear not though, although the planet lacks sufficient other species as natural predators to hUmAnS, nature is as usual making the necessary provisions for balance as humankind continuously develops new means to eliminate their own specie in ever increasing numbers.
LAST and FINAL WARNING (maybe)
If after all these warnings you insist on continuing on into the unknown - (courageous or foolish? - the question of the ages!!) - perhaps it would be appropriate to have a friend or relative make prior arrangements to have those rather large burly looking gentlemen in their funny white suits in attendance - you know the ones - they always show up with that damn silly jacket without any sleeves!!Should you absorb any of the contents beyond this last warning the results could be, but are not limited to acting in a strange manner, spending vast amounts of time staring at nothing, mumbling or just drooling with a blank look on your face.
You have been forewarned that by voluntarily allowing your fragile human psychic within the portentous vicinity of duck verbosity, you risk transformation into a space cadet permanently drooling over duck drivel.
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