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Wed, Jan 07 2004, 0:55:28 [ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, [2] ]

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Date Posted: 27/08/03 8:11:41
Author: 579er
Subject: Golf
In reply to: John Cooper 's message, "The Camel at RAF El Adem" on 25/08/03 11:31:28

A round of golf

The station sports officer had to be taken to RAF Ely hospital with a five iron wrapped firmly round his neck and sporting two black eyes.

When asked by the duty MO how he got into such a state, the Flight Lieutenant replied that he was playing a round of golf with the matron where on the 14th fairway the matrons ball veered wildly off course into a cow pasture. Both went into the field to look for the ball, after a short time the sports officer went over to a cow, accompanied by the matron, spotted the golf ball firmly embedded in the cows backside, promptly lifted up the cows tail and said "It looks like yours!"

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[> Boat Race -- John Cooper, 27/08/03 9:10:37

The Boat Race

The Queens Flight (TQF) RAF Benson and 24 Squadron RAF Abingdon decided to have a competitive boat race on the River Thames. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Abingdon team won by a mile.
Afterwards, the Benson team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. TQF decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of Executive Officers was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action.
Their conclusion: The problem was that the TQF Benson team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering, whereas the Abingdon team had 8 persons rowing and 1 person steering. The Executive Officers Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure.
After some time and billions of pounds, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing." To prevent losing to the Abingdon team again next year, the management structure was changed to "4 Steering Officers, 3 Area Steering Officers, and 1 Steering Wing Commander" and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a star performer.
The next year the Abingdon team won by two miles.
The Queens Flight Steering Committee laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the oars, cancelled all leave, called for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed medals, promotions and knighthoods on the money saved as bonuses to the senior officers.


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