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Subject: Immutable Law of the Sitcom Universe

Author:
Betty

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Date Posted: 18:26:41 07/21/03 Mon

The Top 14 Immutable Laws of the Sitcom Universe

14. The Universal Law of Gift Exchange: All presents must come in boxes with the lid wrapped separately from the rest of the package to allow for easy opening.

13. The Cousin Oliver Corollary: As soon as the young, cute child becomes gangly or awkward, he/she is relegated to the background and a new young, cute child will be introduced.

12. The Pet Theorem: Anytime there is a prominent family pet, odds are it will be smarter than at least one other character on the show.

11. Remini's Conjecture: Pudgy, average-looking men always marry hot women. Pudgy, average-looking women don't exist.

10. The cuter the child star, the longer the rap sheet.
9. Lucy already did it, and it was funnier in 1953 than it is now.

8. Carrot Top is not funny. Ever.

7. Chrissy's First Law of Teledynamics: The subject of a telephone conversation, when overheard from behind the door of an adjacent room, can be fully and accurately ascertained from as few as two words.

6. Statute of Prevarication: A zany scheme is always easier than simply telling the truth..

5. A cynical, funny, but nerdy guy will eventually have sex with all his attractive female friends -- not that I'm bitter, mind you.

4. The Will & Grace Paradox: Sitcoms can be funny. Gay people can be funny. But for some unknown reason, sitcoms about gay people are NOT funny.

3. The Kramer Conundrum: If no one watched The Michael Richards Show, did it make a sound when it was canceled?

2. Any problem taking more than 30 minutes to solve must be labeled "Very Special."

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Immutable Law of the Sitcom Universe...

1. Schwimmer's law: No matter how irritating a character may be, the other characters will never bludgeon him to death.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: Immutable Law of the Sitcom Universe	Becky (K)	09:42:18 08/02/03 Sat
Re: Immutable Law of the Sitcom Universe -- Lindsey, 19:51:02 08/05/03 Tue
Cheers & Seinfeld	Betty	14:52:11 09/02/03 Tue

Best selling keychain turns off TVs	Betty	00:05:31 11/08/04 Mon

Stand alone DVD burners-yes, TVO-no	Betty	10:26:20 11/28/04 Sun

Battle over new DVDs begins	Betty	15:49:41 11/30/04 Tue