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Subject: And suddenly I am alone

Author:
Cassie

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Date Posted: 12:25:14 04/19/01 Thu

I remember a time when I had been playing with my friends on their swing. Then they had to go in and I was left sitting there alone. A wasp settled down on my arm and not realizing what it was, I swatted it and it stung me....... Now I am sitting here all alone feeling the pain. Not crying, for I never cry, just feeling overwhelmed by it all. A long time passes until someone notices that I am there.

Standing here, feeling like the last awake person on the planet, at last I KNOW what it is to feel down into the farthest depths of separation and existential lonliness. I see that all the yet-to-awaken people are scurrying around this pit, doing everything within their power to avoid falling into it. EVERYTHING! and frantically. My heart breaks at this sight. There is no one here to whom I can speak. I am truly all alone in this. Perhaps, leaving this message down here will be pointless in the end, perhaps not. I don't know. I really really don't know.

I do know this however. I am here and I am still alive. I feel the incredible pain of absolute separation from every other living being and I CONTAIN it somehow. For awhile there I thought it was going to contain me. But, having sat in this for quite awhile, I am holding it. I am holding it and I am walking forward. No longer frantically trying to claw my way out of the pit, I am walking forward carrying the damn pit with me. Who woulda ever thought this could be possible. I'm here to tell you that it is. That is IF there is anyone else out there. Or not, for that is now OK too.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Re: And suddenly I am alone	Chris	15:19:56 04/19/01 Thu
Re: And suddenly I am alone -- Paul, 15:29:54 04/19/01 Thu And suddenly I am not alone! -- Cassie, 01:11:21 04/20/01 Fri And suddenly I am not alone -- Cassie, 01:19:54 04/20/01 Fri Re: And suddenly I am not alone -- Hell no, I won't go, 08:13:28 04/20/01 Fri
And suddenly I am a victim AGAIN!!!	Cassie	01:15:22 04/20/01 Fri
Re: And suddenly I am a victim AGAIN!!! -- Chris, 10:19:58 04/20/01 Fri Ladies and Gentlemen! -- This is AMAZING!, 13:28:30 04/20/01 Fri Innumerable Bulls Eyes -- Chris, 13:51:12 04/20/01 Fri Re: Innumerable Bulls Eyes -- (required), 01:00:17 04/21/01 Sat Mud Bath -- Chris, 06:14:32 04/21/01 Sat