Mr. Winston -- Our Marauder Spoof

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Subject: Mr. Winston

Author:
Peter

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Date Posted: 16:10:34 04/14/03 Mon

Chels looked away from the accusing faces of her friends, "Maybe i did, maybe i didn't. You can't press charges without a body!"
"So you're admitting to your involvement in the murder of Mr. Alibaster Winston?" Lauren shot back. By now the photographers had gathered and were snapping shots of Chels with their merciless flashbulbs.
"I loved Mr. Winston! And i would never hurt him! He was my husband, and you'll never understand how much i loved that man--erm cat. He was everything to me! He was my life! I could never kill him, never!" Chels broke down crying.
"Your gize is clever, Mrs. Winston, but you can't fool me. I know the truth." Maddi yelled back, her defense unfalturing, "You did love your husband, and you couldn't stand letting anyone else having him, especailly a Miss Verginia Pabitsworth."
An elderly woman who smelled like cat food came forth from the crowd. Her skin was pale, almost green, and she was clad in a green flower-patterned cotton dress that looked like it had once been a pair of loveseat cushion covers. On her craining nose balanced a '80s-style pair of yellowed glasses. Her eyes were magnified by the high perscription and thickness of the glasses, making her look more like an alien than a human.
"Mr. Winston was spending more and more time with Miss Pabitsworth and you couldn't stand it. Each night he would return with her goat's milk on his breath. And it was driving you insaine. Wasn't it?!??" Lauren yelled.
"No! No! It's all a lie! You're telling lies! I loved him, i loved him!!!" Chels screamed her pleas at the judge (Mr. Kopas). He starred back just shaking his head at the sick-mindedness of this girl.
"Then one night you couldn't take it any more. He told you he was leaving, there was a fight. The neighbors heard it all. You couldn't let him go because if you couldn't have him she couldn't have him. Isn't that right?" Lauren continued.

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