" ~You must abort the child, Legolas~ " -- Godawful Fan Fiction

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Date Posted: Sat, Apr 17 2004, 16:17:57
Author: T.E.O.W.
Subject: " ~You must abort the child, Legolas~ "

Here, a LOTR MPREG badfic to *play* with while we wait.

http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1366420

Haldir knocks up Legolas at Helm's Deep, and Thranduil won't stand for an illegitimate grandchild. Oh, and he's not at all surprised that his son is preggers.

"~You see, Mallorn~ the King turned his face towards his son ~The Sindarin males possess the needed organs to bare a child as females do. They are fertile~"

And...

"The King Thranduil sighed ~I didn't see the need to inform you about this, seeing that you prefer females. And even when Legolas told me about Haldir…he was too young to understand. However, I had warned him not to give up himself to his lover without an official marriage, which I can see, that he had disobeyed me~ he said the last sentence with apparent annoyance."

Plus...

"Legolas stared at his father silently. He couldn't believe that such hurting words would come out from the very mouth of his own blood. He wanted to kill Haldir's child…the only thing left from his beloved…the only thing that symbolized their love…the only thing that is connected to his lover by blood...

//NO// Legolas' mind screamed, //NO ONE WILL TOUCH HALDIR'S BABY…NO ONE WILL TAKE HIS ONLY MEMORY FROM ME…NO// "

Features bad grammar and spelling and frightening creative puntuation, in addition to clunky dialogue and angst out the wazoo (Legolas is hunted by his eeevil family! Ooo, boo hoo!). Plus, as if Legolas being turned into a weepy pregnant girly-elf wasn't enough, one of his brother's is named "Aredhel", a Silmarillion girl's name.

It probably gets worse, too, it's thirteen chapters long.

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Replies:

Re: " ~You must abort the child, Legolas~ " -- Araniell, Sat, Apr 17 2004, 16:38:33
- Re: " ~You must abort the child, Legolas~ " -- nazlan, Sat, Apr 17 2004, 18:27:49
  - Re: " ~You must abort the child, Legolas~ " -- ladypilot, Sat, Apr 17 2004, 18:51:26
    - Sorry, the "Mallorn" isn't Legolas, it's one of his brothers. -- T.E.O.W., Sat, Apr 17 2004, 19:54:19
      - Re: Sorry, the "Mallorn" isn't Legolas, it's one of his brothers. -- Jackal, Sat, Apr 17 2004, 21:14:57
        *Gack* -- Ariana Aislinn, Sun, Apr 18 2004, 2:06:02
And what's with the ~s everywhere? D'you think they're up for adoption? (NT) -- MST Meg, Sat, Apr 17 2004, 19:04:30
- Re: And what's with the ~s everywhere? D'you think they're up for adoption? -- ladypilot, Sat, Apr 17 2004, 19:17:07
  - Re: And what's with the ~s everywhere? D'you think they're up for adoption? -- Snorkle, Sat, Apr 17 2004, 20:50:47
    - Re: And what's with the ~s everywhere? D'you think they're up for adoption? -- ladypilot, Sat, Apr 17 2004, 23:51:12
      - Re: And what's with the ~s everywhere? D'you think they're up for adoption? -- Snorkle, Sun, Apr 18 2004, 1:59:55
        Re: And what's with the ~s everywhere? D'you think they're up for adoption? -- ladypilot, Sun, Apr 18 2004, 2:27:14

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