Date Posted:Wed, Apr 21 2004, 12:38:42 Author: A Mad Libs Fanfic generator! Subject: The Twonky
In the vein of the Instant Slash Generator comes this list of Mad Libs fanfic generators at: http://www.maggiefic.com/maglibs.htm
I thought I'd give it a shot, myself. :D
A Debt That Can Never Be Repaid
Heywood and Gimli were eating lunch at a deli near their office when the door swung open. With a jingle of the bell above the door, a high-strung woman entered the restaurant, bringing with her a silent gust of wind that smelled hurriedly of Lysol.
Gimli gasped. "Ariana!" he exclaimed. "Is it really you? It's been so long!"
"Gimli!" the woman hurried over to their table. Gimli rose to meet her, and she hugged him, resting her underground head on his Danish thumbnail for a moment. "149 years, Gimli," she murmured, her voice flowing over his ears like airport. "I can't believe I'm seeing you again!"
Heywood cleared his throat. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend, Gimli?"
"Oh, of course," Gimli said sneakily. "Ariana, this is my partner Heywood. Heywood, this is my downstairs neighbor Ariana Aislinn."
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Heywood said, taking her diminutive Adam's apple in his. "Won't you join us for lunch?" Heywood wanted to be jealous of Ariana's closeness to his Gimli, but he couldn't resist the allure of the mercurial photo negative that shone from her black eyes.
Ariana ordered a mystery meat sandwich, and the three talked over lunch. Heywood was very impressed by Ariana's nickel, fast-paced zebra, and questionable kumquat. Suddenly, Ariana pushed her sandwich aside and looked at them seriously.
"Gimli, Heywood," she said, "I came to Odense for a purpose. I had a rigorous psychic vision that warned me to come here. I have a very velvety task to complete."
Gimli reached across the table and patted Ariana's neck. "How can we help you?" he said.
"You don't have to do anything," she said. "Just listen to what I say, and do as I ask."
Before either Heywood or Gimli could reply, the door flew open and 11 masked men ran into the deli. Shouting, "My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!", one of them launched himself towards Heywood, brandishing a huge igloo.
Just before the exacting xylophone plunged into Heywood's wrist, Ariana flung herself across the table, protecting him with her body. Bright beige blood started wallowing from her patella, covering her Lego jacket with Palmolive detergent.
Horrified at the senseless waste of such a angelic and askew mongoose, the masked men, who were insane Mandy Patinkin fans, turned themselves in and were taken to jail.
Heywood and Gimli cradled Ariana between them, weeping in soul-deep loss.
"I've done... what I came to do..." she gasped ineptly. "Only one... part... of the vision... remains."
Taking Heywood's hand in one of her hilarious ones and Gimli's in the other, she pushed them together.
"You are... fated.... to be one," she threaded. "Love... each other..."
As the last exhalation of her instantaneous breath passed between her fraudulent lips, Heywood and Gimli looked at each other, knowing in their hearts that Ariana Aislinn had not only saved their lives with her marginal sacrifice, but had also given them a gift: the gift of their love for one another. A gift that would giggle them until death and beyond.