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Date Posted: Mon, Apr 12 2004, 22:21:02
Author: T.E.O.W.
Subject: Oh Lord - it's hilarious!
In reply to: Random 's message, "A Nice, Clean Piece of Lotrips GAFF" on Mon, Apr 12 2004, 20:41:24

>It's MPREG, but for once they've tried to explain why
>men can get pregnant, and they know about spelling and
>grammar. It's maths and history they can't handle. In
>998 there is a plague. This is a Very Special plague -
>it kills mainly women, and causes the human race to
>produce far fewer female babies.
>
>To quote: "By the year 1006 the human female
>population was less than a tenth of what it had been
>before the plague.... After the plague, only about one
>in every hundred births was a female."

Yet although humanity has been dying out for a thousand years and hardly anyone is fertile... not only were all the LOTR actors born right on schedule, but Tolkien's story is exactly the same, and daily life and pop culture hasn't been affected one smidgen by underpopulation and the bleak future. And fertile males have a birthmark at the base of the spine, just to make it reeeeally obvious.

And oh, the angst! Will Orlando have to sacrifice his career to spend his life bearing child after child, as all fertile people must?

"Orlando still wasn't convinced. He knew what kind of pressure Peter would be under to replace him, even if Viggo didn't. Males who could bear children were rare, and they were much more likely to lose that ability than females were. They were also much more likely to lose the babies once they were pregnant. That was why they were so protected, even more so than females. It was highly unlikely that Peter would let Orlando risk himself and the baby."

Hilariously awful.

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