{also he is my boyfriend in this story}, -- Godawful Fan Fiction

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Date Posted: Tue, Nov 11 2003, 23:51:48
Author: Heywood
Subject: {also he is my boyfriend in this story},
In reply to: Wandering Namek, hiding behind Heywood now. 's message, "*Sneaks out to drop off some Badfics while his screen reader rampages.*" on Mon, Nov 10 2003, 4:33:01

><a
rel=nofollow target=_blank >href="http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=159447
>7">Here we start right off with cheesy Sue/Stu
>descriptions.</a>

Can these people not see that using the first dozen paragraphs to describe their characters does _not_ make me want to read the story. Because we all need to know what color her bra is and what it's made from...

"She was wearing a stripped sleeveless shirt" How does one strip a _shirt_? Does that mean that she took it off and then put it back on, if she's wearing it again?

"Crystal was different then most girls," "the three-hundred-foot blinking radio antenna complete with guy wires and concrete anchors projecting from her ass only served to make her even more unpopular. But on the good side, her reception was great."

"Hey i'm runnin low on coke. We should go get some," Brad said as he finished the can adn tossed it into the trash. Katey nodded her head in agreement." What, was I the only one who _didn't_ need hard recreational drugs to get through high school? I mean, she's describing this kid making crack, for god's sake, but usually it's a spoon.

And since when is a _rave_ a formal occasion? "Come on dear, we can dress up in formalwear, go and take several hits of E, thrash around to 240BPM, maybe suck back a little nitrous, and you can flash the crowd. It'll be _romantic_...

><a
rel=nofollow target=_blank >href="http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=159445
>4">A Holes Sue. . .</a>

Oh dear god. The sexual connotations already...
Oh. "Holes" is a book. Oh. I interpreted it as "A Holes" Sue... as in some weird euphemism for sex.

�Well, when you try to get into Congress�s files I guess it�s kind of understandable.� _Try_?! If you're going to do it, do it well. Don't bring shame to the "family". I mean, if a _high school kid_ can tunnel through into the US government's Information Service and scrawl "CRYSTAL, I LOVE U!" all over, the Congressional site probably isn't that much tougher.

�Six and a half years? Geez�.that long just for hacking?�" She's never met Ashcroft.

So she's introduced new characters, did I miss an actual plot there? Because it appeared to be them sitting around staring at each other.

><a
rel=nofollow target=_blank >href="http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=159437
>0">A bad Suvian DBZ fic. Run, Trunks!</a>

See Trunks? See Trunks run? Run, Trunks, run?

Okay, I don't know the fandom. Is Trunks actually 16, or has the author bastardized him? And are these characters the author's made up?

><a
rel=nofollow target=_blank >href="http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=159332
>5">Just weirdness.</a>

"After working with his mother so much, he couldn't stand thinking about mathematics."
URRRRRGH! I've seen WAY too many incest fics that contain lines like that.

The girl gave a huff and released her strand of hair. "Yeah. That stupid jerk. He thought we would be together forever." "Out by 16 or dead in the scene, but together forever!"

She quickly clapped her hands together with a smile. "Oh my gawd!" "Becky, look at her butt! It is SO big! She looks like one of those rap guy's girlfriends! (sighs) You know, who understands those rap guys (sighs) They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute, okay, I mean like, her butt, it's just so... big! (sigh) I can't believe it's just so round, it's like out there, gross! Look!"
LA face with the Oakland booty...

"And some action will come in the next chapter so expect it to be good!! You know, reviews would be nice... **sparkly eyes**"
Action? Errrrrgh! She's gonna screw the canons... Errrrgh... And she's even got Sue eyes...

(fishes the Fangirl Cannon out of the pile)

><a
rel=nofollow target=_blank >href="http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=159170
>1">A nice example of CRAPPY FORMATTING.</a>

Anime � Dragon Ball Z � True Saiyans Stand Alone
Author: krissythesaiyan

"One of them is Kristen a 13 year old Saiyan with brown hair and blonde highlights, blue eyes (different than the normal black eyes of the Saiyans), my uniforms kinda like a skirt but a little different, my job is working for King Vegeta as one of his top guards I mostly look after Prince Vegeta {but don't tell him that because he is not very proud of having a girl looking after him then again he doesn't like anybody looking after him, and also he is my boyfriend in this story}, I am kinda the goofball of the group but when I have to I can become very serious, well sometimes. I am the strongest of the group, my parents abandoned me because I was a girl and they didn't think a girl could be that strong I guess they were wrong. We all go to Amber Middle School 7th grade our mascot is the warriors, well I guess that's about it for now"

Where are my calipers?! I need to find out the size of the biggest shell I can stuff in the Fangirl Cannon! It looks like it's gonna have a long night...

(fishes out a red plastic can)

><a
rel=nofollow target=_blank >href="http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=159439
>2">Some LOTR crap.</a>

Is that gasoline I smell?

>*falls over.*

(steals wallet)

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