VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, [8] ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: Tue, Nov 11 2003, 2:02:32
Author: AC
Subject: The sentence that wouldn't end (NC-17)

It's long and it's bad. Take a look at this and weep for your inadequate, puny, tiny little sentences...

<i>"Daren get off of me, What are you doing" He didn't reply but just took off her jeans and shirt, she was completely in a green underwear and a green lace bra to match, "get off", she started to hit him in the chest but he tied her arms up onto his bed and took off his shirt, he started to go on top of her and caressing her body, she yelled and then he put a white cloth to her mouth, she inhaled it and couldn't move any part of her body or yell just lie there, he started to undress himself, he took off her panties, and pulled apart her legs, he rubbed between her thighs and started to moan and then slipped two fingers into her, her body was filled with pleasure but she didn't want this, he seemed to know she was enjoying this and then slipped his whole hand, in and out, in and out and then took his hand out and put his hands between her thighs, he lowered his head and then put his tongue in and tasted her and then started to suck and nibble and then started to moved up and caress kisses on her flat stomach and then felt a need and then took off her bra and then rubbed them with his cold hands, he then nibbled and sucked on her breasts and then started to move up her jaw line and forcefully slipped his tongue into her mouth and moved it around, he then put his penis at the opening of her virginal, he moved into her making her scream in her mind, he started to pump and thrust groaning and moving up and down, blood erecting from her opening as he started to grow within her and harden, pumping in warm liquid he thrust faster and faster, afterwards he lowered his face down to hers "Remember you're mine, yah betteh not tell anybody about this Hun"
</i><p>

The author doesn't know much about sex, about writing, or about the X-Men, since this is Rogue he's talking about and she gets molested again in a few paragraphs, <i>after</i> she's joined the X-Men.

Teenage male hormones apparently suppress the ability to use punctuation. I wonder if anyone's ever done a study on that?

<a rel=nofollow target=_blank href="http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1595141"> The whole story, all five or so sentences.</a>

AC

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:





Forum timezone: GMT-3
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.