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Date Posted: 01:15:08 05/12/02 Sun
Author: Dan Flackman
Author Host/IP: 62.253.32.6
Subject: How to be a twat

There are several methods available to the twat.

a) First is the use of 3 letters to express yourself. The use of 'abc', 'grt' or other such name is always a great start for the twat. It allows the use of anonymity and laziness to fight it's way to the fore. By using theses random letters to express oneself, you are a twat.

b) The hidden leprechaun amongst the darkened alleys of curioristy [aka 'the funny one']. Such a character can be a twat, but it is easy to spot. They prey on being something they aren't, but ultimately give their positions away with their regionalisms, poor direction and use of the word 'fuck'. Being a leprechaun is akin to being Welsh, but unfortunately less recognisable.

c) The world-wise fella. Again, it's an easy wind-up to spot, but over-used. In many ways the world-wise fella is the funniest character, even though it's the stalest of the lot. A light chuckle combine with world war reminiscence, wrapped up in a blanket made of soft, so soft, wool. It could be the 'impression' of the velvet glove. The twat factor is dependant on the point in the season that they show themselves.

d) The [Mike Yarwood]. The weakest of the lot. Even Mike Yarwood would feint at the piss-poor attempts at impersonation. Some attempts can be funny for a few days, but anything over 3 days is tiresome. Big twat factor.

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Replies:

[> Thank fvck for that. I thought I was a cvnt. -- kiwidale(deceased), 07:20:28 05/12/02 Sun (203.97.2.242)


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[> Yawn. -- Bagpuss, 08:54:30 05/12/02 Sun (213.122.118.9)


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[> hehehe Nice one Pickering !!!, you really had us fooled there !! -- IPX, 10:20:36 05/12/02 Sun (213.122.119.131)


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[> [> Read point (a). -- Dan Flackman, 19:19:28 05/12/02 Sun (62.253.32.6)


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[> [> [> kISS MY ARSE. -- iAN lITHGOE, 19:58:53 05/12/02 Sun (213.122.143.238)


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[> [> [> [> A text-book type (b) twat there. Thanks for demonstrating it so well. -- Dan Flackman, 22:11:58 05/12/02 Sun (62.252.224.5)


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[> I refute point (d). -- OMP, 08:44:52 05/13/02 Mon (193.133.143.241)


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