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(God Awful Football Forum)
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" 'It's end to end stuff, but from side to side' - TREVOR BROOKING "

We have moved again. Await re-direction

God the board is slow today -- Blakey, 14:50:04 05/15/02 Wed (216.148.244.38)
Anyone got a Football XI that hasnt been done yet?

[Edit]

Replies:
- Alan Ball, Ryan Casey, Lace Steele, er... (NT) -- OMP, 14:55:31 05/15/02 Wed
  - Claudio Trainer, Christoph Dugoutry, Stand Collymore, errrr (NT) -- OD, 15:05:09 05/15/02 Wed
- David Boots (ex coventry) (NT) -- Blakey, 15:06:34 05/15/02 Wed
- Roberto Physio (NT) -- Blakey, 15:08:31 05/15/02 Wed
- Crowdio Ranieri. (NT) -- BG, 15:27:55 05/15/02 Wed
  - Martin Keown - goal. (NT) -- BG, 15:32:08 05/15/02 Wed
    - Gareth SouthGate. (NT) -- BG, 15:33:51 05/15/02 Wed
      - Header de Goey. (NT) -- BG, 15:34:35 05/15/02 Wed
        
        Miguel Angoalo. (NT) -- BG, 15:37:11 05/15/02 Wed
        
        Dennis IrWin. (NT) -- BG, 15:38:19 05/15/02 Wed
        
        Nobby (turn)Stiles, (NT) -- OD, 15:57:41 05/15/02 Wed
        
        Foulo DiCanio, shinPaddy Crerand. (NT) -- OD, 16:00:07 05/15/02 Wed
        
        freeKicky Butt, Espen yellowCardsen. (NT) -- OD, 16:03:45 05/15/02 Wed
        
        Graham Le Throw-in, Kieron Pie-er. Bovrilly Bremner. (NT) -- OD, 16:39:56 05/15/02 Wed
        
        Pitch-ard Wright (NT) -- d-hole, 06:25:59 05/16/02 Thu
        
        Eu-sub-io (NT) -- dallholio, 06:27:11 05/16/02 Thu
- Andy Goal..... Kick McCarthy..... and one for all you Halifax fans out there - Shay Given (NT) -- Bahagia Gas, 15:35:21 05/15/02 Wed
  - Net Lofthouse? (NT) -- Tommy the Silkman, 15:59:45 05/15/02 Wed
    - Gary Liner-ker (Sorry, that shouls be Gary Referee's Assistant-ker) (NT) -- Tommy the Silkman, 16:03:22 05/15/02 Wed
      - Lee Glove(s)r (For a 'keeper), Kyle Floodlight-bourne, MaScot Gemmill, Scott Programme Sellers.. (NT) -- Tommy the Silkman, 16:11:52 05/15/02 Wed
        
        (Cross Bar)t-williams (NT) -- Captain Gas, 17:01:25 05/15/02 Wed
We have Ant and Dec -- OMP, 14:47:25 05/15/02 Wed (193.133.143.241)
Ireland have this;

http://www.hotpress.com/music/news/1709719.html

At least our shit cover of a shit song didn't feature a fucking stuffed turkey hand-puppet on vocals.

Mate, even Dave Baddiel on 3 Lions was a less embarrassing prospect.

[Edit]

Replies:
- Surely Baddiel and Skinner must be dusting 3 lions off for a re-re-release. 2002 Rammstein mix? (NT) -- orfc, 16:09:52 05/15/02 Wed
  - Ich will. (NT) -- Bertie Vogts, 16:33:12 05/15/02 Wed
- Yummy, Nicky Byrne. (NT) -- LBtu, 18:56:02 05/16/02 Thu
He moves in right mysterious ways -- Lord of the Attack, 13:27:43 05/15/02 Wed (134.32.4.105)

http://www.catholicshopper.com/products/inspirational_sport_statues.html

[Edit]

Replies:
- He should be able to trap the ball well with those robes on. (NT) -- Cammack Attack, 13:30:56 05/15/02 Wed
  - When he has a shot does he often hammer it onto the cross (bar)......... I'll just go then shall I? (NT) -- Tommy the Silkman, 13:38:05 05/15/02 Wed
- I don't know what's the more worrying, the "Golf" one, or the fact the sculptor passed on a "heaven-sent" (sorry) opportunity to depict Christ on a bike� (NT) -- Stan Grytviken, 18:35:56 05/15/02 Wed
  - And another thing. I can hardly see "Jesus wants to strangle your children" bringing the unconverted to the "One True Faith". And as for "Only available in baseball, football (sic), soccer (als� sic), and basketball." wtf happened to "omnipresence"? http://www.nobscan.com/index.html (NT) -- SG, 18:42:33 05/15/02 Wed
    - Boll Ox. Posted in "wrong" URL. Try this one. http://catholicshopper.com/products/inspirational_sport_frames.html (NT) -- SG, 18:43:25 05/15/02 Wed
The name of this website -- Blakey, 12:19:31 05/15/02 Wed (193.133.143.241)
"bottom barrel"???

[Edit]

Replies:
- if ur going to impersonate me-at least make it funny. (NT) -- Blakey, 12:55:34 05/15/02 Wed
  - "me-at"??? (NT) -- Blakey, 13:07:09 05/15/02 Wed
    - My favourite cheese is Cracker Barrel (NT) -- Blakey, 13:19:28 05/15/02 Wed
      - "cheese Crack"??? (NT) -- Blakey, 13:20:07 05/15/02 Wed
        
        My favourite food is sausages dipped in chutney and covered in white sauce (NT) -- Mr Gimlet, 13:53:26 05/15/02 Wed
- Hilarious post, OMP. (sarcasm) (NT) -- Blakey, 14:51:56 05/15/02 Wed
  - Heh. Its all in the timing, Blakey. (NT) -- OMP, 14:57:28 05/15/02 Wed
Security -- The Usual Suspect, 10:58:35 05/15/02 Wed (195.38.93.131)
In this day and age you can't be too careful. This is to be my new motto. (Along with "Never say die", although i'm not getting a tattoo or anything.)

I've also employed a giant bear as a bodyguard. It's called Yakuzi and is a master at making disguises and weapons from household items. Anyone comes near and Yakuzi will simply detonate them with a home made thermo-nuclear device.

I'm also thinking of creating my own country which will be modelled on the magazines about guns that I subscribe to from America. The country will be called "FreeTony" after my liking for the music of Tony Bennett. Any fucker tries to take my muttering of Tony Bennett lyrics away from me and they better have a very big gun. Or a bear trap. Or one of those periscope things made out of a cardboard tube and mirrors so they can sneak up unseen. (Remember. A military man never sleeps.)

[Edit]

Replies:
- Good man. As long as you keep it in mind that everyone else living in FreeTony also has the right to keep bears and shoot innocent tourists who're speaking in incomprehensible stupid languages that somehow don't come from the USA. At the moment I'm using my own networs of nuclear laser spy sattelites to try to see if there is anything beyond the borders of the USA. Recent rumours suggest we've been attacked by someone or something outside. *looks over shoulder* (NT) -- Charlton Heston, 11:02:55 05/15/02 Wed
  - Hello. (NT) -- Ossy Bin Laden, 11:31:15 05/15/02 Wed
    - Watch my telly programme. Ta-ra a bit. (NT) -- Ozzy, 11:33:04 05/15/02 Wed
  - Watched "Where Eagles Dare" last night, after playing "medal of Honor". Unsurprisingly, my dreams last night were of being chased by Nazis. (NT) -- BG, 11:32:14 05/15/02 Wed
    - Heh. (NT) -- OMP, 11:53:19 05/15/02 Wed
- Top odds: World Cup final to be Tunisia Vs Saudi: 10,000/1. Lump on it. (NT) -- Not Ricko, 11:55:50 05/15/02 Wed
  - If its up there, I'll give you the money myself. (NT) -- Les Dennis, looking over his shoulder to his rent boy, 12:16:57 05/15/02 Wed
    - hehehe (NT) -- OD, 13:04:47 05/15/02 Wed
- Medal of Honor 3 is out now but I think only on PC, errrm so my son tells me (NT) -- Luddite, 12:42:31 05/15/02 Wed
  - It's taken feckin weeks to finish the first un'. Great game mind. Shooting Germans - my idea of relaxation. (NT) -- BG, 14:09:20 05/15/02 Wed
Only in Halifax -- CTW, 09:33:15 05/15/02 Wed (62.60.121.206)
There was a court case on Monday about some guy who'd be done for possession of crack cocaine with intent to supply.

The prosecution alleged he'd been observed by the Feds with said drugs, and when he realised they were after him he'd hidden the drugs in his garden.

Headline to the report in the Halifax BlueSox Courier (and with no apparent sense of humour)........

"Criminal Hid Crack Under Bush"

Well I laughed anyway

[Edit]
Thick Cobblers........... -- BG, 08:52:33 05/15/02 Wed (195.195.249.9)
BORO REPORT COBBLERS(14/05/02)

A source close to Boro today confirmed that contact had been made with the FA to formally complain about an illegal approach made by Northampton Town to Darren Stamp.

Boro are waiting for a reply from Stamp to an improved offer made to him in writing before the expiry of his contract and indeed had planned further talks with him tomorrow. Until such time as Stamp rejects the offer in writing no club can approach him, Boro had already rejected overtures from other league clubs willing to pay a fee in the hope that our leading prized goalscorer would accept the improved offer.

In spite of this the Northampton Town Chief Executive and their agent arranged a clandestine meeting with Stamp and his father at a Hilton Hotel near Nottingham yesterday. Stamp later confirmed that this had taken place. As Stamp is not yet 24 Boro have the right to make a formal complaint and seek compensation from the cash strapped cobblers. A 23 year old goalscorer whose career was resurrected by Slade and his team, with his ability, would surely command a fee of over �250,000 in the present market. It is thought that this will be the likely compensation payable to Boro.

[Edit]

Replies:
- 'The Present Market' .. At the moment transfer fees are dropping through the floor because there are so many free-transfers around and most clubs are facing financial problems thanks to ITV Digital. (NT) -- Tommy the Silkman, 09:26:39 05/15/02 Wed
- Who'd have thought seventies glam rock could have such a positive effect on a footballer's career. (NT) -- OMP, 09:32:55 05/15/02 Wed
  - Owen Coyle was going to be a window cleaner before I stepped in... (NT) -- Ozzy Ozbourne, 09:44:06 05/15/02 Wed
- "in the present market"??????? Transfer fees are almost a thing of the past in the lower leagues. No one will pay �250,000 for a non league player. Maybe a typo - �25K is a bit more realistic. (NT) -- ., 10:26:31 05/15/02 Wed
  - What I thought too. (NT) -- BG, 10:43:19 05/15/02 Wed
  - Definitely a typo. This is Darren Stamp, a player who when trotting towards an open goal against Beddlington Terriers, decided to look up and grin at the crowd whilst a defender got back and tackled him. �2.50 if that. (NT) -- AOI, 10:48:28 05/15/02 Wed
    - Lord Russell has got him to play much better, but I'm still not convinced by him. Too inconsistent. (NT) -- BG, 11:35:02 05/15/02 Wed
      - Good in the air but the rest of his footballing skills are not up to the same standard (NT) -- yelland, 14:34:18 05/15/02 Wed
Some thoughts for today -- Dargas, 06:47:15 05/15/02 Wed (62.254.0.6)

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tyre.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

9. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

10. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

11. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.

12. If you lend someone �20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

13. Don't squat with your spurs on.

14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

15. If you drink, don't park. Accidents cause people.

16. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

17. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

20. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

21. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

22. There are two theories to arguing with women... Neither one works.

23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

24. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

[Edit]

Replies:
- Ahh, some of those bring back memories. (NT) -- The mummified remains of Tutenkamen, 09:55:21 05/15/02 Wed
- Have you been stealing my newspaper then? Not got it for 3 days now. Cunt. (NT) -- Tex Ratbag, 10:48:08 05/15/02 Wed
Good Morning, Great Britain! -- Jet Moses, 03:08:06 05/15/02 Wed (138.89.156.38)
I don't know, you might like this, then again you might not:

http://www.nobscan.com/index.html

[Edit]

Replies:
- Re: Fine, be that way then. Good day to you, sir. I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR! (NT) -- Jet Moses, 15:59:27 05/15/02 Wed
  - gspp ? (gay septic porn poster). (NT) -- BG, 16:36:50 05/15/02 Wed
Can the Commercials -- JtM, 20:51:47 05/14/02 Tue (80.225.46.144)
If you want to register your disgust at Carlton and Granada, register at the address www.The-FFU.com
Its about boycotting the commercials during the Champions League Final. The fuckers cant get away with it !

N & N : Ben Davies is ok. Busy player but lacked that little bit extra to make his way in the 3rd div.

Richie Appleby : Hull have offered him a deal but the rumour is its not as good as the one Kiddy offered him.

Colin Larkin : Hull chairman has said he will not offer any more than 100K for him (which Wolves have turned down).

Four posts in one, not bad.

[Edit]

Replies:
- Rumours are we're in for Larkin as well. (NT) -- Frags, 21:54:33 05/14/02 Tue
- Had as many people signed up to ITV d as have signed that petition then there would not be a problem, notwithstanding areas not covered (NT) -- yelland, 23:55:32 05/14/02 Tue
  - Utter and total fucking specious Thatcherite Tory crap. Had ITV put all the stuff on "free-to-air" and dumped the likes of "Blind Date" and the rest of the witless shit onto subscription; the advertisers would be queuing round the block (NT) -- Stan Grytviken, 12:55:43 05/15/02 Wed
    - Blind Date - pillock's propaganda (as Mr Newman dubbed it). Why is that shit still on ? Ah, I remember now. It's to make sure the breweries are kept in business by forcing everyone out on a Saturday night. (NT) -- BG, 14:11:54 05/15/02 Wed
http://www.tamponhenge.co.uk/ -- irregular regular, 20:39:23 05/14/02 Tue (195.92.168.169)
http://www.tamponhenge.co.uk/

[Edit]

Replies:
- I wonder why he wastes his life doing these things. Ah, having seen his photograph..... He's hardly likely to be out shagging is he ? (NT) -- BG, 14:13:56 05/15/02 Wed
Quick Quiz - answers probably tomorrow -- Jelly, 16:47:33 05/14/02 Tue (155.192.33.21)
The following are all clues to English or Scottish football teams, so the first one would be Spurs.

1 Cowboys have them
2 Professor on rollers
3 Males meadow
4 Dirty Water
5 Males together
6 Push Weight
7 Steel city day
8 Always one hundred
9 Famous for their buns
10 Cash service
11 A prison clock
12 Famous football brothers
13 Lock the door
14 Fill the harbour
15 Ask about ill parent
16 Brick after cotton factory
17 Car outside Spanish house
18 To put under ground
19 Famous President
20 Animal Car
21 Lastest fort
22 Famous jockey
23 Vital organs
24 Smashes things up
25 Collection of arms
26 Organ on small lake
27 Bottom of a ship
28 Not eastern beef
29 Greedy pig
30 Opposite of dull/off
31 1 of 3 R's
32 Harbour with a gorge
33 A putrid pig

Apologies if this has been on before

[Edit]

Replies:
- I must be bored -- Tommy the Silkman, 17:04:27 05/14/02 Tue
  - Hang on.. More inner ear ---> -- Tommy the Silkman, 17:15:37 05/14/02 Tue
    - Halifax and Portsmouth are wrong. The rest are all correct (NT) -- Jelly, 17:22:17 05/14/02 Tue
    - --> -- OMP, 17:25:37 05/14/02 Tue
  - --> -- OMP, 17:22:02 05/14/02 Tue
  - --> -- OMP, 17:23:56 05/14/02 Tue
    - Yeh, all OMPs additions are correct (NT) -- Jelly, 17:29:09 05/14/02 Tue
      - Cheating bastard used a calculator though. (NT) -- OD, 13:14:18 05/15/02 Wed
        
        Heh. A shit gag, very well recieved. (NT) -- OMP, 13:16:55 05/15/02 Wed
- Inner Ear -- Frags, 19:46:10 05/14/02 Tue
  - 33 out of 32, very impressive (NT) -- Jelly, 10:08:08 05/15/02 Wed
    - or 34 out of 33, even! (NT) -- Jelly, 10:08:41 05/15/02 Wed
Today's Look North.......... -- Peter Levy, 14:08:38 05/14/02 Tue (195.195.249.9)
Despite the government being happy to let several hundred illegal immigrants through the channel tunnel every day, a man from Skipton has been separated from his Australian wife because of a paper cock-up. She has been deported to her homeland, despite all official channels being pursued correctly.

Girls from East Yorkshire have been branded "grubby slappers" by a cosmetics firm, because they say that 'Ull lasses wear too much make-up, and don't bother to take it off when they go to bed (cue Blakeys).

Here's small Paul with the weather, and a comment about Essex girls being the real grubby slappers......

[Edit]

Replies:
- "a paper cock-up" ?? (NT) -- OB, 14:24:57 05/14/02 Tue
- Ah yes, we will try ze very hardest to keep the scruffy smelly people in our own country where 20% of the country still vote far-right even though the other choice was a right-winger too...... (NT) -- French Po-leese, 14:28:26 05/14/02 Tue
Personal Details -- Dan, 12:51:19 05/14/02 Tue (212.95.224.3)
Having read what has gone on with regards the tUS imposter post, I think that you are slightly over reacting.

I can understand that people, including myself, would strongly object to having their personal details plastered across internet messageboards. However, this information is freely available if you look in the right places on the net.

I am not by any means condoning what has gone on, but think that things should be put into perspective.

This post will probably be greeted with either extreme outrage or nothing at all! Here's hoping for the latter...

[Edit]

Replies:
- I agree. Its quite simple (if you know how) to get name, address, telephone numbers etc. simply by tracing the user. As you say its all freely available on the net. TUS has done plenty of impostering in his time and now someone has got him back - big deal. I think its quite funny. (NT) -- ant, 13:14:47 05/14/02 Tue
- Well yeah the information is there but only if you're sad enough to go looking for it, still pathetic to put it on this board which is getting worse by the day. Membership only perhaps???? (NT) -- Stephos Sunbed, 13:14:57 05/14/02 Tue
  - It takes 2 seconds to find it. I have your name, address and other details up in a browser in front of me. Not that I would do anything with it. Yeah, I reckon a members only board would solve a lot of problems. Lets face it there isn't exactly a lot of passing trade - its now down to a group of about 20 regulars who post stuff so it'll make no odds. (NT) -- ant, 13:21:49 05/14/02 Tue
    - The forum54 boards are good. You can register with a name (so no-one else can use it), but you can still post unregistered under aliases (which are half the fun when not impersonating) (NT) -- orfc, 13:30:14 05/14/02 Tue
    - If you had a board where non-members could post aswell but only with names that aren't registered then I can't see a problem (NT) -- SS, 13:31:15 05/14/02 Tue
      - Agreed. (NT) -- OMP, 13:37:12 05/14/02 Tue
      - But the problem yesterday wasn't really "impostering". The problem was someone simply tracked Nick P's details and made a spoof posting (which was quite funny actually). Allowing people to post anonymously wouldn't stop this. (NT) -- ant, 13:44:54 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Well yeah but I bet you can't find the details of those people on say the Rivals board (NT) -- Stephos Sunbed, 14:11:11 05/14/02 Tue
    - Here's a test for you, Mr. ant. All you need to do is post where I'm from, and what my middle initial is, and you pass it. (NT) -- Charlie Vike, 13:45:36 05/14/02 Tue
      - Q and Minnesota. (NT) -- OD, 14:04:04 05/14/02 Tue
        
        You've been a fantastic contestant, but you're wrong. "Q" is not my middle initial, and I was hoping for something more specific than my State. (NT) -- Charlie Vike, 14:10:33 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Dazed and confused? (NT) -- Val E. Forge, 18:20:35 05/14/02 Tue
        
        My actual *PHYSICAL LOCATION*, as opposed to my mental state. Does your appearance mean that Chip Burgermeister is nearby? (NT) -- Charlie Vike, 18:26:58 05/14/02 Tue
        
        <sigh> Still not mastered the concept of "IP addresses" I see, Charleston (NT) -- Val E. Forge, 13:06:33 05/15/02 Wed
      - hehe. Not my style I'm afraid - I think its out of order posting that stuff on here. All I will say is that you are not all that you seem at first glance.... (NT) -- ant, 14:04:32 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Translation: "I can't do it." My middle initial is no big deal, and neither is the City I live in. (NT) -- Charlie Vike, 14:15:52 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Minneapolis, and J. Dou you want to know your bank account number too? (NT) -- Tex Ratbag, 15:06:14 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Wrong on both counts. Please post my bank account number. I would like that. (NT) -- Charlie Vike, 15:21:19 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Typical illiterate yank. A "middleinitial" is one letter, "no big deal" is clearly 9. See me! (NT) -- The English Teacher's Head of Department., 18:25:00 05/14/02 Tue
        
        I spelled "middleinitial" incorrectly, too. I always thought that it was two words, instead of one. (NT) -- Charlie Vike, 18:46:57 05/14/02 Tue
      - I, Pittsburgh ?.....................I.P., get it ?? (NT) -- BG, 14:11:22 05/14/02 Tue
- Why don't the moderators do something about it? or is that too simple. Can they not just ban the imposters? (NT) -- ant, 13:40:58 05/14/02 Tue
  - I suspect that if you really could track someone down (nice sidestep of the yank there), you would already now he answer to that question. (NT) -- OMP, 14:11:49 05/14/02 Tue
- For 3 weeks I have been having malicious phone calls. I thought nothing of it, but the police asked me if anyone held a grudge. I said no, but seeing my number on here, things started to add up. It could be unrelated, I don't know and I care even less, all I want is this weird twat stopped. In summary, I don't feel as though i'm over-reacting when my girlfriend is scared shitless about some weirdo. What next ? Some twat turning up in the middle of the night ? They've gone too far, simple as that. Words are one thing, intimidation is another. (NT) -- tUS, 14:20:39 05/14/02 Tue
  - Not nice, but I doubt it's related to here, is it?? (NT) -- OD, 14:31:50 05/14/02 Tue
    - I doubt it, I really do, but some fuckers up to no good and I don't know of anyone else who could be doing it. (NT) -- tUS, 14:33:13 05/14/02 Tue
      - Good luck, hope it gets sorted. (NT) -- OD, 14:46:59 05/14/02 Tue
      - Where's Big Vern when you need him, eh ? (NT) -- BG, 14:47:23 05/14/02 Tue
      - Drop us a mail tUS (NT) -- Frags, 14:58:00 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Aha, feeling guilty, Frags ? (NT) -- d-hole, 09:20:55 05/15/02 Wed
        
        Heh. Not guilty M'lud. Just a bit of information which might help tUS but it seems he's not interested by the lack of mail. Oh well I did my bit and tried to be helpful. (NT) -- Frags, 19:30:51 05/15/02 Wed
  - Can you not do 1471 on them? (NT) -- orfc, 15:08:18 05/14/02 Tue
    - not hard to withhold a number though, is it? (NT) -- Stephos Sunbed, 15:10:25 05/14/02 Tue
      - Some cunt who was doing that to me at Uni didn't withold his number. We made up cards advertising gay love and put them in service stations around the country. (NT) -- Tommy the Silkman, 15:16:47 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Did anybody call you? (NT) -- Blakey, 18:58:54 05/15/02 Wed
      - The rozzers can still trace the call whether it's withheld or not. (NT) -- BG, 16:08:39 05/14/02 Tue
        
        yes but 1471 doesn't work then, which was my point (NT) -- Stephos Sunbed, 17:24:53 05/14/02 Tue
- It is a fairly simple matter for the ISP to trace what telephone number was connected at the time of the posting as most now insist on CLI or some similar identifier. If the plod are serious about this one they can get BT to trace the calls to tUS. If the two numbers tie up the imposter/twat is banged to rights. Message board postings are one thing but the phone calls are a legal matter. (NT) -- Botb Legal Dept., 15:27:31 05/14/02 Tue
  - surely all calls made whether the caller witholds their number of not should be logged at the exchange? (NT) -- �anster, 16:03:17 05/14/02 Tue
    - If the conspiracy theorists are right, when a stalker rings next, just say in a loud clear voice "I KNOW WHERE OSAMA BIN LADEN LIVES, BECAUSE I AM A MEMBER OF AL QAEDA". The voice recognition software that bugs all phone lines will flag your call up to the authorities who'll nail both the stalker and yourself. You can then all sit down and sort the mess out amongst each other. Having spent three hours blindfolded with broken ribs and no teeth in the boot of a car driven into a desert somewhere. On second thoughts, perhaps I shouldn't have posted this message. (NT) -- OMP, 16:31:13 05/14/02 Tue
      - Over here, sonny. (NT) -- FBI (Leytonstone branch), 16:33:00 05/14/02 Tue
      - [[FLAG: 0x56e3f2] Attrib: Al Qaeda, Taliban, Taleban, Osama Bin Laden, Usama Bin Laden, Osama Bin Ladin, Usama Bin Ladin] - apropos level 2CHI. Action approved. (NT) -- Echelon, 17:27:34 05/14/02 Tue
- Fackin' do im !! (NT) -- Luddite, 15:33:55 05/14/02 Tue
Oh Look! -- Steve Irwin, 12:43:12 05/14/02 Tue (195.92.168.171)

Over there is one of the world's most venomous snakes, it's bite would kill a man within minutes.

And opposite is a 25 foot long aligator, which could rip a man in half with one bite

Wonder which one I should play with first?

[Edit]

Replies:
- Blimey! They're fighting in my short trousers like cat and dog now! Just look at them go for each other! (NT) -- That outback bloke again, 12:47:02 05/14/02 Tue
- Wow !!! This little fella's gettin abeet kraynky !!! hey Terri take the pressure off it (NT) -- Luddite, 13:02:25 05/14/02 Tue
- Poof. (NT) -- Johnny Knoxville, 13:10:29 05/14/02 Tue
Stuff -- Blakey, 12:22:07 05/14/02 Tue (66.119.34.39)
Just read that stuff about someone posting tUS's details or something. I dont really know whats going on but the impersonator called me by my real name a few days ago which puzzled me.

[Edit]

Replies:
- Sre you always puzzled when someone calls you by your real name? How did you react? (NT) -- Dan, 12:24:44 05/14/02 Tue
  - Thats right Marmaduke (NT) -- Weirdo, 12:44:11 05/14/02 Tue
  - A good tip is to send out slightly different spellings of your name on application forms etc, and then you can tell who's been selling on your details to junk mailing lists. I have successfully traced receiving a MBNA GoldCard offer every month for 3 years to the fact that I got myself a Sainsburys store card using this tactic. (NT) -- orfc, 12:45:46 05/14/02 Tue
    - May I add, that this was despite the fact I ticked the box telling Sainsbury's not to sell my details for profit (NT) -- orfc, 13:04:29 05/14/02 Tue
What?! -- Tommy the Silkman, 11:49:43 05/14/02 Tue (193.237.226.233)
http://www.kokwee.net/stealingowen.html

[Edit]

Replies:
- Heh. (NT) -- OMP, 11:55:51 05/14/02 Tue
A thought -- Robin Davies (co star), 11:43:52 05/14/02 Tue (213.122.36.218)
If everybody went back and lived within the borders of the country to which they were born would the world be a more peaceful place?

[Edit]

Replies:
- No. You've still got religion as an excuse for people to be shitty to each other. (NT) -- BG, 11:50:20 05/14/02 Tue
- Define the "border" of Ireland, Israel, Palestine and Europe, and you're half way there. (NT) -- OMP, 11:53:08 05/14/02 Tue
  - And if you look at the shape this creates backwards, the word "goat" starts flashing........ (NT) -- Chris Morris, 11:55:37 05/14/02 Tue
  - The "border" of Ireland is defined by the sea. i.e. it is an island, rather like say The Isle of Man, the Isle of Wight or indeed Australia. Do I win 5 pounds? (NT) -- Simster, 12:38:48 05/14/02 Tue
    - Wouldn't you prefer punts or euros? (NT) -- OMP, 12:41:01 05/14/02 Tue
      - There is a common misconception here. The Mick Irish are still using good old pound sterling. It is the Bog Irish who have ditched their pounds for this multi coloured monopoly money. (NT) -- Eurosceptic hack out of Viz Comic, 12:43:47 05/14/02 Tue
  - I think the word is 'Touche' (NT) -- Tommy the Silkman, 13:15:13 05/14/02 Tue
- What about all the 3rd generation "Immigrants"? What about shifting boundaries? Any Irish who're over 80 will've been born in the UK... Maybe they don't want to live there? Gotta go now. I'm now starting a terrorist campaign to create an English republic in Munich. (NT) -- Tex Ratbag, 12:06:10 05/14/02 Tue
  - If you want to becoma an affiliate of the Oslo Popular Front, just say. We need do-ers in our movement, Texteth. (NT) -- OD, 12:09:41 05/14/02 Tue
    - Splitters. (NT) -- People's Front of Oslo, 12:12:27 05/14/02 Tue
      - Whcih one of you is demanding the right to have babies? (NT) -- Spiff, 12:13:45 05/14/02 Tue
        
        That'll be Stan........er.......Loretta...... (NT) -- Reg, 12:14:48 05/14/02 Tue
- What about the Balkans or some of the former USSR countries "planted" with ethnic Russians? (NT) -- Charlie Vike, 14:06:25 05/14/02 Tue
  - How far back should we go... are we going to end up having half of the population of America living over here? (NT) -- Tommy the Silkman, 15:35:14 05/14/02 Tue
    - Why are we Italy now? (NT) -- Frags, 15:42:19 05/14/02 Tue
- It can't be done. If it was, the subcontinent would sink. (NT) -- d-hole, 06:42:21 05/15/02 Wed
Investment Opportunity -- Lionel Beef, 10:06:48 05/14/02 Tue (195.40.201.221)
Does anyone have enough spare time/cash to print and send out 200 letters to random people in return for a large sum of money (�10,000+) within 6 weeks?... cash, no work done. I'm doing it, but the more the merrier! Leave us a reply.

[Edit]

Replies:
- Have you ever fallen for this trick before? Were you emotionally upset by the trauma of unrealised promises? Did the social embarrassment caused by falling for such a ploy ruin your life? If you answered YES to any of these questions, give us a call. We could earn you millions in compensation! (NT) -- Claims Direct, 10:47:14 05/14/02 Tue
- Hour off I think, new pages at http://www.framleyexaminer.com/pages/index.html (NT) -- OD, 11:04:32 05/14/02 Tue
  - Job adverts: "Web designer wanted for crap spider"................ (NT) -- OD, 11:24:43 05/14/02 Tue
  - Well, I'm sure, had I got those two boys out of the pond alive, not just the ball, there would have been a lot more fuss. But I can't live in the past."..... (NT) -- BG, 11:32:41 05/14/02 Tue
Most amusing..... -- Senor Presidente, 09:52:13 05/14/02 Tue (156.48.91.89)
Sam Hamman will be forced to quit Cardiff on Monday next week after part 2 of The Hooligans documentary goes out on Sunday.
According to a Cardiff fan I know, the documentary shows Hamman travelling on one of the supporters coaches to the game at Stoke. After several inflammatory quotes and a bit of a sing song on the coach, they're caught up in traffic in the town centre. Some of Stoke's finest are giving them a bit of verbals, when Sam takes it upon himself to lean out of the window and shout
"Is that all you've f***ing got, you're going to get f***ing murdered" Along with a stream of other obscenities.

The Cardiff mate of mine says that everyone has known about this footage for some time, but no-one has been able to run the story as Hamman had started legal proceedings against the BBC and it could be deemed as prejudicial.

These proceedings have now failed and so expect it to run in the weekend papers, with them calling for Hamman to resign, and him quitting on Monday morning.

[Edit]

Replies:
- Hopefully........ (NT) -- OD, 09:54:30 05/14/02 Tue
- Should point out that I nicked this off another web site and I dont actually know any Cardiff fans myself as they all molest sheep. (NT) -- Senor Presidente, 09:55:45 05/14/02 Tue
- Hah ! (NT) -- David O'Leary, 09:59:05 05/14/02 Tue
- The misheard lyrics are good............http://tommymackay.tripod.com/bafta.htm (NT) -- BG, 10:04:23 05/14/02 Tue
  - Damn you Gumble....."Bad banana, bad, bad banana" (NT) -- Frags, 10:19:08 05/14/02 Tue
    - Heh. You'll never shift it now. (NT) -- BG, 11:13:31 05/14/02 Tue
      - At least yesterday tune in the head was half decent. I put 'Back for the Attack' on and couldn't get 'Dream Warriors' out of my head. Ahhhh the good old tunes. (NT) -- Frags, 11:18:03 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Finally after years of searching I got my hands on Lita Ford's (ooer) Dancin' on the Edge. Spot on. Cue "fuck off grebo" posts....... (NT) -- BG, 11:21:27 05/14/02 Tue
        
        fob off gecko (NT) -- orfc, 11:24:14 05/14/02 Tue
        All you had to do was ask. (NT) -- Frags, 11:35:01 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Had it on vinyl, but it was getting a bit knackered. (NT) -- BG, 11:39:30 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Well if there's anything you're struggling to find then let me know. Chances are I could get it. Music wise anyway. No drugs or owt like that. Heh (NT) -- Frags, 11:53:02 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Heh ---------------->>>> -- BG, 12:10:19 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Having trouble getting Powerslave? Mate, Maiden are back in town with a vengeance. All back catalog available at most record stores. Now try and get Flintlock's first album, and your looking at a Jap import, if at all. You're not even trying with your bizarre disc requests. (NT) -- OMP, 12:14:49 05/14/02 Tue
        
        I ain't payin sixteen fuckin quid to HMV or whoever for it ! (NT) -- BG, 12:16:36 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Mail me Barney ma boy. (NT) -- Frags, 12:18:07 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Done. (NT) -- BG, 12:29:14 05/14/02 Tue
        
        "Had it on vinyl"??? (NT) -- Blakelekey, 12:06:01 05/14/02 Tue
Cool. What have I been up to here in my absence? -- orfc - MOCSA - dr f.k.yu alliance, 09:43:40 05/14/02 Tue (146.176.162.14)
[Edit]
Blakey -- JtM, 21:58:29 05/13/02 Mon (80.225.74.35)
"Kidderminster - shite team who've lost a half decent manager"
We may be a shite team but we took 4 points of you fuckers.

[Edit]

Replies:
- What's Ben Davies like. We've just signed him from Kiddy. Any thoughts? (NT) -- N&N, 22:34:58 05/13/02 Mon
- Kidderminster were a good team last season, I thought. Give us one hell of a runaround at their place. (NT) -- AD, 07:21:55 05/14/02 Tue
  - They were a good side. We were quite fortunate to get three points at their place. I think that they could well have gone down the same road as we did. Lose your 'Uber-Manager' and then promote from within. It took us two years to get over Sammy's departure and we only managed it by bringing in new blood. (NT) -- Tommy the Silkman, 09:46:20 05/14/02 Tue
- Your were complete crap at our place. Hoofing long balls and fouling like all Molby sides. We had a shiet game too mind. Ps we got in the play offs. (NT) -- Blakey, 11:43:27 05/14/02 Tue
  - and failed to get to the final .............. again! (NT) -- DJ, 18:25:13 05/14/02 Tue
Desparetly Seeking An Adequately Suitable Impersonater -- Nah Tazte, 21:28:47 05/13/02 Mon (195.93.32.164)
So I can fuck off for good.
Though it does seem that you need to be a bit more regular than meself to qualify.
Though if anyone's interested,it would be an honour,......and remember to say FUCK,on every line.
(Que either replys of "poof",or"fuck off you boring cunt",please)

[Edit]

Replies:
- Que ? (NT) -- El Blakey, 23:46:00 05/13/02 Mon
- fuck off you boring cunt (NT) -- Happy to oblige, 11:22:06 05/14/02 Tue
"My dads an old man,a 63-year old man,your lads bullying him.So I thought I'd give you some of his medicine,to see how you like it.................Have a word with your boy!" -- Nah Tazte, 21:16:13 05/13/02 Mon (195.93.32.164)
Right you lot,remember the streets current hardman is a Mansfield lad,so don't fuck.Okay...........or you'll be banned from t'booookies.

[Edit]
McMannaman -- Ananova, 18:57:42 05/13/02 Mon (213.122.85.210)
Just seen this

Gerrard World Cup hopes gloomy - Houllier

Liverpool boss Gerard Houllier says Steven Gerrard is unlikely to play in the World Cup.

The midfielder suffered a groin injury in the 5-0 victory over Ipswich on Saturday.

Gerrard has flown to Belgium for an assessment of the injury to see if he requires surgery.

Houllier said: "I don't think he will make the World Cup.

"Since February we have tried to manage his problem in a conservative way. But he may now have to go through an operation and I would be very surprised if he made the tournament.

"As a manager I would have liked him to have gone to the World Cup fully fit and I think he would have played.

"But I do not think it is fair for him to go and maybe play just one game."

The only other option we have is either McMannaman or Bowyer, both of these two could easily fill Gerrards boots, but why wont that old fool pick either of them ?

I dunno

[Edit]

Replies:
- Because we've got the er,world class Trevor Sinclair (NT) -- Nah Tazte, 21:18:04 05/13/02 Mon
  - I have been at a conference at the hotel where England were staying and can report that Owen and Campbell are stroppy gits whilst Sinclair was absolutely bouncing about being included. Updates from Paul merson's wedding ((I kid you not) tomorrow if you are good (NT) -- Sanjak, 02:02:19 05/14/02 Tue
    - I'd be chuffed about being picked for England if I was as shit as him. He was awful against Italy. (NT) -- BG, 09:06:34 05/14/02 Tue
      - What are the options though, that's the problem. Just cos he's shit, doesn't mean he's not the best available. (NT) -- OD, 09:14:38 05/14/02 Tue
        
        The problem is that McManaman has let England down whenever he has played. Unlike say Sol Campbell, who has got his critics but always produced the goods for the national side. (NT) -- Simster, 12:41:47 05/14/02 Tue
- Marlon King is a good holding player (NT) -- ronny, 23:52:35 05/13/02 Mon
  - So is Ledley King. (NT) -- BG, 09:07:07 05/14/02 Tue
    - He's out of the U21 championships due to injury. (NT) -- OD, 09:15:08 05/14/02 Tue
      - Bugger. One for the future, as the pundits say. (NT) -- BG, 09:17:38 05/14/02 Tue
To administrators. -- Nick Pickering/The Usual Suspect, 18:06:08 05/13/02 Mon (62.252.224.5)
Can the message below, purporting to be from 'orfc' NOT be deleted from the message board. This is a criminal matter, I have contacted the police and the individuals ISP with the hope that charges can be brought. In the meantime, so long until this matter is resolved.

[Edit]

Replies:
- Its been unapproved, its still in the database, but not showing on the page (NT) -- ., 18:15:19 05/13/02 Mon
  - Cheers. I couldn't give a toss about being impersonated, but when some weirdo is getting your personal details off the web then I get worried. A line has been crossed like. There's some seriously fucking weird people about and when I told our lass she got freaked out. We're having the phone number changed tomorrow and the police have got back to me. (NT) -- tUS, 18:57:13 05/13/02 Mon
    - When PC Plod turns up can you ask him why he isn't out catching kiddy fiddlers and folk who batter old women rather than hassling motorists and 3rd Division Messageboard imposters. Cheers. (NT) -- A Speeding Motorist, 19:58:53 05/13/02 Mon
- What the fuck are you on about now you melodramatic tart? (NT) -- qws, 19:10:14 05/13/02 Mon
- Eh? (NT) -- OD, 08:27:34 05/14/02 Tue
- Have we not banned the cunt yet? (NT) -- BG, 09:17:06 05/14/02 Tue
  - Have i missed something? (NT) -- �anster, 09:29:26 05/14/02 Tue
    - I haven't seen the message in question, and all the postings purportedly by me after 1645 yesterday were an imposter, as I was at home, and don't have a PC at home. (NT) -- BG, 09:31:36 05/14/02 Tue
      - i think the message in question was a supposed advert containing all tUS personal details......i remeber reading it but never it never clicked until now. (NT) -- �anster, 10:25:17 05/14/02 Tue
        
        While you're here. Barrel Golds link to the Swiss Tony stuff is fecked. (NT) -- Frags, 10:33:04 05/14/02 Tue
        
        yeah i saw that, fcuk knows whats wrong, i may change host as geocities has done away with their ftp access - and nobody ever submits anything so it's a bit outdated, i don't always have time to read everything on here. As for the Swiss Tony thing i posted in a reply to blakeys request (NT) -- �anster, 10:45:35 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Right, swiss tony link fixed. (NT) -- �anster, 10:51:44 05/14/02 Tue
        
        Fixing a link is very much like making love to a beatiful woman...... (NT) -- Swiss Tony, 11:07:45 05/14/02 Tue
        
        You delve in deep, look hard at the jumbled mess and press the right buttons? (NT) -- Swiss Tommy (the Silkman), 11:21:59 05/14/02 Tue
John Hollins leaves Rochdale -- Partridge No More, 17:51:46 05/13/02 Mon (172.183.17.183)
Dale have withdrawn their offer to John Hollins, and the club are now looking for a new manager. Quite why the club made an offer of a contract only for it to be withdrawn has yet to be established. Hollins is the only person to have given his side of the story so far and he says he is "disappointed".

Although he did well to maintain Dale's form he was never really popular and many fans won't be too bothered to see him leave.

[Edit]

Replies:
- I for one am not sorry to see him go; he didn't 'maintain Dale's form' - we were on course for automatic promotion until he took too many games 'looking to find his best team'. Apparently we were unable to reach an agreement with him financially - wise in the current economic climate. (NT) -- OD, 08:40:38 05/14/02 Tue
- ... and he won't leave his home in London, hence he wanted enough money for a second home in Rochdale (not many people can say they've got a second home in Rochdale......) (NT) -- OD, 09:32:41 05/14/02 Tue
Swiss Tony -- Blakey, 17:42:39 05/13/02 Mon (216.148.246.70)
Anyone got that Swiss Tony post? The link on Gold isnt working.

[Edit]

Replies:
- Some Swiss Tony and Tim Vine as well. All from http://www.sodwork.com -- Frags, 18:06:00 05/13/02 Mon
- in here -- �anster, 09:28:25 05/14/02 Tue
Lyrics quiz answers -- Frags, 17:36:47 05/13/02 Mon (62.255.32.5)

In the reply. Mark your own cos I can't be bothered. Looks like Pie did ok though.

I've 2 more with 100 lyrics for later in the week. Just shout up when you're bored.

[Edit]

Replies:
- ina ere...... -- Frags, 17:38:13 05/13/02 Mon
  - Heh. Looks like I've got an imposter now. The IP and hostname in the message header above is the genuine Frags. The rest are but poor imitations. Nice try though cunt chops. Off to the admin now to see what nice little option we have listed under "stopping cunts being themselves". (NT) -- Frags - The one and only, 17:40:37 05/13/02 Mon
- Inner ear ----> -- Frags, 17:38:37 05/13/02 Mon
Sex Change Antique Freak Nearly On Big Brother -- WEB, 16:58:45 05/13/02 Mon (209.198.103.170)
This was quite a shock for me as, I'm ashamed to admit, I used to quite fancy her !!

Sex change child star wanted to be on Big Brother

Child star James Harries who underwent a sex change to become a woman has been among the hopefuls applying for Big Brother 3.

He shot to fame in the 1980s as a bow-tie wearing antiques expert, appearing on TV shows like Wogan.

The 24-year-old underwent a sex-change operation last year, changed his name to Lauren, and hosted an antiques slot on This Morning.

Ms Harries was one of thousands of applicants for the latest series of Big Brother. Her application video is one of the highlights of How Not To Get On Big Brother, screened tonight on E4, which features the worst of the wannabe housemates.

Originally from Cardiff, she appears on screen wearing a black velvet top and dangly earrings alongside one of her pet dogs.

Big Brother spent eight weeks watching more than 10,000 video entries. Many hopefuls went to bizarre lengths to convince the producers they should make the final line-up.

One man pierced an intimate body part live on screen, and another played the accordion in a field naked but for a pair of wellies. A bikini-clad woman stood on a central reservation with a sign that read "Beep if you want to see me on Big Brother".

The producers remained unimpressed by the hundreds of hopefuls who stripped naked in a bid for TV fame.

One of the producers said: "I must have seen at least seven or eight different men running around wearing nothing but a horse thong that neighs."

Big Brother returns to screens on Friday, May 24, with a new house, 'tougher rules' and 12 housemates rather than 10. The final line-up is a secret but will consist of six men and six women.

[Edit]

Replies:
- urrr.....I saw 'her' on Victor-Lewis Smith's Barfta's. Absolutely horrendous. Even that weirdo 'Binman' Pell was taken aback by the sight and sounds of it (NT) -- orfc, 17:19:14 05/13/02 Mon
- Not me. Christ why don't we just rename this place "Imposters Anonymous" (NT) -- WEB, 17:32:45 05/13/02 Mon
  - *lol* how would the imposters be annonymous if there are posting their names? (NT) -- Karlos, 17:36:54 05/13/02 Mon
Superheroes -- The Usual Suspect, 15:41:47 05/13/02 Mon (213.122.111.251)
I always wanted to be that super hero who used to be able to make an ice 'road' wherever he was travelling. How fucking cool would it be to just nip to the shops on a sheet of ice ? Was that Silver Surfer ?

Another good one would have been the X-man who used to have elastic limbs. Fancy making someone jump out of their skins ? Merely elongate your neck to a length of 50 feet and pop your head round the door of their bedroom. Mind you, the same could be said of Mr. Tickle, but he didn't wear tight lycra boiler suits and wrap araound shades.

[Edit]

Replies:
- Oh dear, it's the boy who pretends to be Ricko. (NT) -- tUS, 15:48:23 05/13/02 Mon
- Jesus, give up you fool (NT) -- BG, 16:13:01 05/13/02 Mon
  - Very funny. Like having your cock amputated. (NT) -- BG, 16:24:03 05/13/02 Mon
    - heh BG was that a question or a statement ? (NT) -- orfc, 16:24:56 05/13/02 Mon
    - He's so fucking sad he's even replying to himself now. Tit. (NT) -- BG (accept no imitations), 16:42:49 05/13/02 Mon
      - Why do you bother? Go and play on a motorway. (NT) -- BG (the real one), 16:50:30 05/13/02 Mon
        
        For fucks sake this is ridiculous (NT) -- BG (The real deal), 17:05:59 05/13/02 Mon
        
        Gay. (NT) -- BG (check the IP), 09:14:38 05/14/02 Tue
To my impersonator -- Simster, 15:23:04 05/13/02 Mon (212.124.229.1)
I don't mind you pretending to be me - it's just that I'd appreciate it if you did so in about 3 weeks time.

I leave my job in 3 weeks and will either be working my tits off on a new one or will be at home - from where I never post (owing to the fact that I have a life outside my job). In addition, I have no place on a board designed for non-league/lower league cunts like yourself.

Meanwhile if anyone gives a shit, I post from a WestLB IP addy. Anything else aint me.

[Edit]

Replies:
- You're in the WestLife Boy's Club then? (NT) -- S(dS) although it could be some other bloke..., 15:34:52 05/13/02 Mon
- Shut up you boring bastard. (NT) -- Dan Flackman, 16:05:22 05/13/02 Mon
  - Good call. I'll do the decent thing and fcuk -off to my investment sites. Here's to a good summer... (NT) -- S(o long from dS), 16:27:10 05/13/02 Mon
    - Yeah fuck right off. You have nothing to say of any interest so nobody will miss you. You could send fucking bricks to sleep you dull arshole. (NT) -- Dan Flackman, 16:30:51 05/13/02 Mon
      - Always thought "send a glass eye to sleep" is better. (NT) -- Blakey, 17:35:27 05/13/02 Mon
        
        Its "bring a tear to a glass eye". I think your barking up the wrong end of the stick. (NT) -- Blakey 2, 19:12:12 05/13/02 Mon
Scratchings on the toilet walls -- Karlos, 14:58:53 05/13/02 Mon (195.194.74.226)

Has anyone on here ever gone for a lager assisted piss in a nightclub and been taken aback by the beautiful art known as 'Toilet Wall Graffiti'? Was in a Blackpool nightclub on friday and there were allsorts onf stuff in the pisser! There was 'Burton Albion on tour' which i found surprising and hilarious! Then there was 'we are the IRA' - hmmmm very nice. Plymouth, Bristol City, Leeds and Mansfield got a mention too! Then hilariously there was the 'York City Nomads!'. It was slightly intimidating i can tell you. Moving on to the left wall where 'NF no surrender was displayed and quite humuorously 'peter ried has a monkey head'. My experience was complete as i opening the toilet door where, neatly scratched on the door, was 'Tiverton for the cup' !

Very wierd.

[Edit]

Replies:
- Were you pretending to be Simster at that point, or was that later ? (NT) -- tUS, 15:05:45 05/13/02 Mon
  - Explain? (NT) -- Karlos, 15:09:22 05/13/02 Mon
    - Ah. You have an impersonator too. The penny has dropped. (NT) -- tUS, 15:18:39 05/13/02 Mon
      - Thick cunt ! (NT) -- IPX, 15:33:09 05/13/02 Mon
        
        Nice combination of a type (a) & (c) twat there. (NT) -- tUS, 15:37:56 05/13/02 Mon
        
        What the hell are you talking about? (NT) -- Blakey, 16:08:50 05/13/02 Mon
        
        Fuck off you boring twat (NT) -- Real Blakey, 16:32:34 05/13/02 Mon
        
        No you fuck off Mr. 66.119.33.135 ... (NT) -- Blakey (the real one), 16:52:30 05/13/02 Mon
        
        You tell him Blakey, this cunt it getting right on my tits (NT) -- BG, 17:10:35 05/13/02 Mon
        
        Blah blah blah......... (NT) -- BG, 09:15:34 05/14/02 Tue
- On the bog door of my local it proclaims - "CONSETT F.C. FUCK YOUR WOMEN" (NT) -- Nah Tazte, 21:22:32 05/13/02 Mon
Weird -- The Usual Suspect, 14:20:13 05/13/02 Mon (195.38.93.131)
If an inflatable lady is not enough to satisfy your passions, then maybe you need a Real Doll. They look like corpses, but what the hell...

http://www.realdoll.com/intro.html

[Edit]

Replies:
- What's the matter Pickering, your old lady not giving you any ? (NT) -- orfc, 14:27:22 05/13/02 Mon
  - How rude. (NT) -- tUS, 14:29:48 05/13/02 Mon
    - How queer. (NT) -- Arthur Atkinson, 14:33:16 05/13/02 Mon
      - How. (NT) -- Jack Hargreaves, 14:33:49 05/13/02 Mon
        
        H !!!! (NT) -- Some bint out of Steps, 14:41:25 05/13/02 Mon
  - woaaahhh...the very first orfc imposter *preserves in vacuum-sealed bag* (NT) -- orfc, 17:22:38 05/13/02 Mon
- http://www.realdoll.com/images/leah.jpg - it's the love child of Brittney and Cat Deeley....... Why the fuck would anyone who could afford to spend $6,000 on that sort of thing actually need to? (NT) -- Tommy the Silkman, 14:49:26 05/13/02 Mon
- See your busy at work then (NT) -- S(dS), 14:52:46 05/13/02 Mon
  - http://www.sciencenet.org.uk/database/Biology/Original/b00013d.html (NT) -- Marlowe, 14:59:56 05/13/02 Mon
  - 'your'? As if I would... (NT) -- S(dS), 15:22:31 05/13/02 Mon
birmingham director -- deano, 14:08:43 05/13/02 Mon (195.195.30.2)
am leeds and i would give her one and am sure are paths will cross again with cardiff and birmingham... if you get what i mean

[Edit]

Replies:
- Check out this picture of her with no makeup on...... http://www.altoonafp.org/_borders/Ernie.JPG (NT) -- tUS, 14:13:38 05/13/02 Mon
Bad shit -- The Usual Suspect, 14:07:36 05/13/02 Mon (195.38.93.131)
Listening to The Clash sing 'Londons Burning' makes you realise how lucky you are living in the north. They've got an ice age coming and there's been a nuclear error. Apparently, you'll be alright if you live by the river though.

[Edit]
Lyrics quiz -- Frags, 13:47:13 05/13/02 Mon (62.255.32.5)

Not done one of these for a while so here you go.

They're in the reply.

[Edit]

Replies:
- Iner ear ----> -- Frags, 13:47:52 05/13/02 Mon
  - --> -- OMP, 13:59:12 05/13/02 Mon
  - --> -- OMP, 14:28:08 05/13/02 Mon
    - 57, 97 and 99 are wrong. 95 think of the name of the most famous angel. (NT) -- Frags, 14:36:47 05/13/02 Mon
    - Re: --> -- Sandyman, 14:58:08 05/13/02 Mon
      - What a piss poor effort. Just for you complete this well known Rochdale/Mansfield drinking song in it's entirety. "My name is Jack, na na na na na na na" (NT) -- Frags, 15:16:44 05/13/02 Mon
        
        Heh! Said song got a an airing at the Dale end of season do last night. (NT) -- Sandyman, 16:27:03 05/13/02 Mon
        
        And anything less was expected of you? (NT) -- Frags, 16:59:03 05/13/02 Mon
  - Jesus H Corbett ! --->>> -- BG, 14:38:37 05/13/02 Mon
    - 52 is the right song. 59 I'm close to letting you get away with. 69 (cue Blakeys) I think you know the song and artist. 87 right song and 92 is so close. Think gravelly voiced Welsh bird in a band and a song with the same name as a book about a horse. (NT) -- Frags, 14:47:48 05/13/02 Mon
    - 92 - Oh I wish I'd got someone to look after me teeth - Trigger Ayres. (NT) -- BG, 14:50:20 05/13/02 Mon
      - Heh. No cigar (NT) -- Frags, 15:08:26 05/13/02 Mon
  - ---> -- OMP, 14:39:32 05/13/02 Mon
    - Spot on (NT) -- Frags, 14:48:53 05/13/02 Mon
  - here....... -- >>>>, 14:49:00 05/13/02 Mon
    - 48 is wrong. Get bored and couldn't be arsed with the artists? (NT) -- Frags, 15:13:23 05/13/02 Mon
      - 17...You're so vain...Carly Simon (NT) -- <<<<, 15:43:55 05/13/02 Mon
        
        Aye. For the record the songs were right on the ones you didn't put the artists with. (NT) -- Frags, 15:50:22 05/13/02 Mon

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