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Date Posted: 11:35:05 06/06/02 Thu
Author: jjs
Author Host/IP: 195.92.168.172
Subject: Agent Adam Crozier - Secret Report Back To Scottish HQ


Special Agent Crozier - Report from behind enemy lines.

Location: Enemy Base Camp, somewhere in the far East.

All going well. Of the original mission I have accomplished:-

1)Closure of Wembley - they are now homeless with no solution in sight.

2)Loss of 2006 World Cup to Germany

3)Installation of foreign coach - was going to be Fergie but he couldn't bring himself to do it even for a laugh. Sven agreed on condition he was allowed to reclaim all blonde Swedish weather forecasters from the barbarians. Agent Sven performing remarkably - introducing long ball game just before World Cup. We should put them back 10 years by the end of Nigeria match.

4)Beckham fooled into thinking he had an injury - we got Fergie to show him an x-ray swiped from Glasgow Southern General and told him it was his foot and to stop training. This worked so well we used same x-ray for Neville and Murphy.

5)Took under 21 team away from Peter Taylor who had them playing well and gave it to Howard Wilkinson. That nearly compromised my cover as it was too obvious, so hired next best thing - David Platt

6)Our German friends agreed to take a dive in Munich so as to reinforce unwarranted superiority complex - avoiding awkward questions after Greece/ Holland/Italy games. Now showing real form against Saudi Arabia.

7)Sven secretly signed a three year deal with Swedish FA in April and is in fact managing their team at the World Cup.

8)Fergie has played Veron out of position all year to disguise his real talent until Friday.

9)I expect to complete mission by July 2002 when Sven takes Ulrika back to Sweden, media get on the back of all foreign coaches and insist on an Englishman. I will then give the job to Gazza before returning to God's country.

Alba Gu Brath

Agent Crozier

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Replies:

[> <img src="http://store1.yimg.com/I/herobuilders_1687_144574"> Ola!! -- Bin Bag, 11:40:44 06/06/02 Thu (66.119.34.39)


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[> [> <img src="http://britcom.hispeed.com/thinblueline/grim.gif"> -- Very hoity. Very toity., 12:00:37 06/06/02 Thu (195.195.249.9)


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[> God save us from the petulant tantrums of a so-called country that behaves like a teenager threatening to leave home because he can then do as he likes - all the time little suspecting that this is his parents' deepest wish. Still, the geo-political equivalent of sitting in a vinegar-smelling council flat whilst having the gas literally cut off from underneath them provides a touching tale, as the prodigal son returns home to find his parent have changed the locks. And moved house. -- Dave Ace - Englands' poet of prose, 11:43:33 06/06/02 Thu (146.176.162.14)


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[> http://www.panlogic.net/voodoo/ -- Marlowe, 11:47:58 06/06/02 Thu (217.34.74.106)


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[> But, I resigned before full fruition of my plan to take England back 15 years had effect.. so got you there, Adam. -- <IMG src="http://www.supporters-direct.org/images/keegan.jpg">, 11:50:54 06/06/02 Thu (212.23.11.251)


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[> [> Adam, I tried to be crap for you for England but couldn't be your pawn anymore. I'm back to normal now though. <img src=" http://media.rivals.net/media/jpg/2002050800870914.jpg"> -- Kevin Keegan, 12:17:29 06/06/02 Thu (193.237.226.233)


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[> [> [> "Side in Marginally better than West Brom shocker!!" -- dot com, 12:19:00 06/06/02 Thu (217.34.74.106)


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