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Date Posted: 18:24:02 09/17/02 Tue
Author: Angie
Author Host/IP: clinton-ras1-p301.intrstar.net / 66.207.231.45
Subject: I just got home for a 16 year-old's funeral...

a friend of my daughter... 16 years old, junior in high school, whole life ahead of her... prom, class ring... now she's gone. Driving too fast in the rain without a seatbelt. Hydroplaned, lost control, flipped the truck and got ejected out the back window in the process. They say she never felt a thing, that she was dead before she hit the ground. I know that those things are supposed to make people feel better, she didn't suffer, etc... but that doesn't make it any easier that someone so young and vibrant is gone! No I have never even met this girl. Never laid eyes on her that I know of. But she was in school with MY daughter, the daughter who the state says can have her license to drive by herself, even in the rain, in 4 months! I'm sorry, but that.... I just don't know. I know that it's a big thing when kids turn 16 get their license all that good stuff, but are they really ready??? I know that we have to let them grow up, let them learn. But then something like this happens. She didn't get to learn from her mistakes that driving too fast isn't good. I am starting to think that by law, a kid should have to drive with a permit and another driver for more than a year before getting their license. Five years sounds better right now. I'm so angry right now. Not at any person... I don't know at who or what... I just am. I was at that funeral thinking that could be ME in a few months. I just don't understand this. I CAN'T understand this. I can't handle it, can't cope, can't deal with it. Why do children die? What's the point? As parents we do all we can for our children. We make them wear coats and hats and shoes when they don't want to, when it isn't the "cool" thing to do, we watch them from behind the curtains to make sure they get on the bus ok, we do without things so they can have what they want... and in an instant, it's ripped away from you, your very heart and soul, your life, in an instant and there's nothing you can do about it but sit back and watch. Parents aren't supposed to bury their children, it's supposed to be the other way around. Yeah, I know there's a reason for everything, and that we aren't supposed to comprehend the infinite wisdom of God and why He does the things He does. I know that He knows best what is good for each of us, but I still can't get it through my head that something good comes from a child dying. Yeah, I hear that maybe other kids will learn to be more careful, to watch their speed on wet roads, to not drive with bad tires, to wear their seatbelt... but look at the cost! I'm selfish, I don't want to be the parent who has to pay the price for someone else's child to learn those lessons. I'm sure that Stephanie's parents don't want to be either. I know that this is probably not making much sense to anyone reading it, but I can't voice these feelings out loud, because my daughter is having a hard enough time dealing with this without her mother having a nervous breakdown over it too. I don't know what to do or say for her to help her cope with her grief. It's been not quite 10 years since her grandfather died, and to this day she hasn't dealt with it, hasn't gotten peace and closure for it. I'm at a loss to help my child, and that is enough to kill a parent, this one anyway.

I can't even put cohesive thoughts together now, so I think I'm gonna sign off, read my mail and... I don't know what else. I want to just crawl into a hole. I'm afraid to go to sleep for fear that I'll dream it's me, not Stephanie's parents. I can't help but wonder, is the only point in life pain? Is that what it's all for? *sigh*

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