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Date Posted: 13:54:24 01/31/02 Thu
Author: Laurel Goldleaf
Subject: Curiously frustrated
In reply to: Tia 's message, "About love" on 09:42:42 01/31/02 Thu

Gradually, Laurel began to grow more aware of her surroundings, of the quiet voice speaking into her ear, and the gentle fingers running through her hair and making slow circles against her head. Like magic, the motions relaxed her, then began to send little electric tingles down the back of her spine. The tears had ceased sometime ago, but she continued to clutch at him with her hands, burrowing her face into his shoulder.

He smelled very good. Like herbs, and cold eastern breezes.

Eventually, she lifted her head, although she didn’t draw back from him. He seemed to hesitate, but his arms did not fall away from her as she thought they might. She stared into his calm brown eyes and saw a strange, hidden restlessness in them, as if he were trying to strangle something inside himself that would not be quieted.

Vaguely, he reminded her of the peasants who tried to make their way into the capital. They all had different reasons for making the journey; some were looking for city jobs, others visiting family, still others hoping to meet with an official or even the High Consul himself for something or other. Crop failings, disease, family feuds—there were many ills that country people suffered, and often as not, aristocratic city dwellers were oblivious to it all.

Erlic looked like one of those farmers, wandering about the city, getting slowly lost in the maze of intense traffic, merchants, and guard officials—in short, utterly confused, trespassing into unknown, alien territory. But why should he look as though he were so uncertain, as though…as though he’d never held someone in his arms before? Laurel had comforted friends often enough, and been herself comforted many times over. Why should the man who had flung her over his shoulder and brought her to another dimension to kiss her suddenly act as though he honestly didn’t know what to do?

“You know, Erlic,” she said softly, tracing a seam down the front of his shirt with one finger, “We are friends, you and I. We promised we would be, some time ago, when you took me to your hidden place.” Again, she laid her head down on his shoulder, feeling his arms tighten almost instinctively, probably reacting to her closeness. Well, at least he could actually act like a normal man for a change!

“You kissed me there, and I thought we would be more than friends soon, some day. Tell me, have you changed your mind since then? I am still here, and I am letting you hold me now, and I am not drunk this time.” She lifted her head, smiling almost coquettishly, and moved to brush her lips against his cheek, the little hairs from his beard tickling her mouth. “You keep coming to be beside me, Erlic, and yet leave me constantly in doubt of your true feelings.” She cocked her head, her face still very near to his. “Do you find me so distasteful, now?”

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