Date Posted:17:57:41 02/24/10 Wed Author:Page Subject: Okay, I know I missed last evening, but I'm here now >>>> In reply to:
Esther
's message, "Back to the mirrors >>>" on 12:18:44 02/03/10 Wed
There's a tiny bit of confusion about "his" features and "his" lips. I know it's Fallon, but I had to read it twice to know it. After all, it could be Darian's frown, etc. since Fallon pretty much kicked him off Heather. I'd suggest reinforcing the fact that Fallon's expression is the one you refer to.
>
>Darian leaned down towards Fallon. “That’s right,
>bro. All I have to do is behave like an ass, and
>she’ll be all over me.” His whisper was soft, but
>unlike the murmurs I was familiar with when we were
>lovers, the malice in his tone was unmistakable.
>“You’re pathetic. What kind of being would allow his
>brother to fuck his mate? Give her to me? I don’t
>think so. She’s already mine.”
>
>“Darian!”
>
>His lips brushed Fallon’s nape. “You know, while you
>lay there and will yourself to die, remember what
>it’ll mean.”
>
>Fallon’s head moved back and forth. “No…no…can’t
>do…Heather. She…deserves…bet..ter.”
>
>“Better than you? Oh yeah, you you're
damned right she does.
> At least I love her.” Darian straightened.
>
>“…Can’t do that to her…don’t…you…hurt her…”
>
>“Well, of course not. At least not right away. I
>won’t be able to. But you know, there’s a good chance
>with you dead, I’d possess your powers. I’ll be able
>to say no, and I’ll be capable of the rough se—”
>
>“No…no. Deserves better than a whore.”
>
>“Is that what you think you are?” Darian laughed.
>“Guess you’re not a very good one. You left Heather
>unsatisfied.”
Burn!
>Darian, what the hell are you doing?
>
>He’s feeling something other than pain now.
>
>Words have the power to hurt too, Darian. I can’t
>let you do thi—
>
>Touch him like you care.
>
>I do care. My fingers traced over Fallon’s
>cheek, feeling the strong angles, wondering how even
>in pain his features held such magnificence. At my
>touch, he eased, and crazy as it was, given what I
>knew of Fallon’s power, it made sense. Not to me. What made sense? The easing of his features? The way Darian spoke to him? The fact that it caused Fallon to respond?
I swallowed,
>needing to make him understand, but I couldn’t speak.
>Instead, I soothed his hair, willed the thick mass to
>detangle under my ministrations.
>
>“You feel that, bro? That’s the touch of a woman who
>loves you. She honours you with her tears. And here
>you lay, weak and pitiful. Unable and unwilling to
>satisfy her needs.” Darian scoffed, a rude sound of
>disgust. And then, he took Fallon’s chin in his hand
>and forced Fallon to honour the oath. “Look into my
>eyes. Let me see the truth you know is there.”
>
>His lashes flickered open, and with utter
>ruthlessness, Darian sought the reflections. Is this a POV jump? How would Heather know Darian was seeking with utter ruthlessness?
>
>“My, my.” Darian laughed, but it wasn’t amusing. His
>hurtful mirth vanished, leaving the sensation of cold
>anger. “You’re a bastard Fallon.”
>
>“Which is one of the things you love about me.” A
>soft murmur, it held assurance.
>
>“Keep telling yourself that.” Darian waited until I
>met his gaze. “My Heart, I exist to make you happy.
>To satisfy your every need. Even though I don’t
>agree, and would rather he dies as alone as he lived,
>I’ll allow you to say your goodbyes.”
>
>That brought my attention back to Darian. “Allow?”
>
>“Yeah. Allow.” My brother hasn’t been exactly
>truthful with either of us. He doesn’t want to give
>me to you. He already has.
Is Darian already absorbing some of Fallon's powers, and therefore, his personality? Because I can see Fallon saying "Yeah," but Darian seems to be more of a "Yes, dear" type of dude.
>
>What?
>
>There’s no tim—
>
>Without any compunction, I sent us to the only place I
>knew where time didn’t exist, and since the place did
>not exist, we could not exist in it. Immediately, I
>felt the loss of Fallon. We have all the time in
>existence.
JMHO, but there's too much "exist" and its variants in this paragraph, making it hard to read and probably obscuring your point. Can you find another way to say it?
>
>Darian glanced around, gazing at the mirrors. Do
>you trust me?
>
>Of course I do.
>
>Then get us the hell out of here or I won’t be any
>help to you.
>
>I caught the panic in his voice. The world shifted.
>But I hadn’t had a complete thought of where to go, so
>we ended up nowhere. Darian helped form a vision in
>my mind, and the vortex of nothing became a dungeon.
>Dank and dark, the unease, pain and anguish were
>ghosts of the pasts hovering in the enclosed space.
>And yet, there was a weird vibe, almost like
>trepidation, except excitement and aggression overrode
>it. I could scent the magic in the air, although it
>was very faint and used long ago.
>
>Nice digs, Darian.
>
>You think so?
>
>Sarcasm Darian. I’m thinking this place is kind of
>morbid to be honest, and not where I would have
>chosen.
>
>Good. You remember what’s important. Darian
>gestured with his chin in the direction behind me.
>
>Fallon was on a rusty looking table. Positioned on
>his side, his arm stretched out and his bicep
>cushioning his head, his feet dangled off the edge.
>
>Shunned and misunderstood, it was up to me alone to
>provide him comfort. Drawn to his side, I went to my
>knees beside the table, clasped his hand in mine and
>rested my forehead against them. I can hardly
>forget that Fallon is meant to die.
>
>Not die, but cease to exist.
>
>Like you, or is this another riddle?
>
>The quick version is this. We are immortal. We
>cannot die. Not in the way you believe anyway.
>
>Fallon shifted, an anguished grunt accompanying the
>movement.
>
>“I’m here Fallon.” I turned my head, my cheek resting
>against Fallon’s knuckles. So what the hell does
>it mean?
>
>Darian shook his head. “Hey Loverboy. Why don’t you
>go to sleep so Heather and I can reacquaint
>ourselves.”
>
>Fallon settled down, and if not entirely without pain,
>the engaging twin of perception let me know that he
>was in a more restful state. I worried if Fallon was
>that diminished that he didn’t fight the order, or
>whether Darian was perhaps more powerful than I
>thought. Cadmus had suggested as much.
>
>What does it mean Darian?
>
>Doesn’t matter. He held his hand out as if to
>say hold on. What does, is that Fallon wants
>to.
>
>I don’t understand.
>
>Raised as a mortal, the easiest way to say it is
>the world without Fallon would be a less than pleasant
>place.
>
>If the world doesn’t want him, I’ll take him.
>
>This place, what do you think it represents?
>
>Since we’re talking about Fallon, I’m going to
>assume something from his past.
>
>His past, true. His present, possibly. His
>future? That is up to you.
>
>What are you saying?
>
>Darian’s patience ran out. What did I ask you to
>do? He gestured with a curt wave of his hand and
>the image of us moments ago appeared, complete with
>sound.
>
>“Yes. Listen. I can help you.” Darian’s hand
>reached out for mine. “But you’ll have to trust me.”
>
>The desperation I felt still consumed me, and it was
>odd to hear the words I spoke in my mind. I sat up
>straight as I watched my image clasp hands with
>Darian’s, entwining our fingers in a unity of purpose.
>“What would you have me do?”
>
>“Everything and nothing, My Heart. You kiss him.
>Caress him. Tease him. Torment him with your touch.
>Invoke his lust. Make him forget everything but how
>much he needs to pleasure you.”
>
>“Sex? That’s your solution? You think he needs to
>get a little grind going on and he’ll be all better?”
>On cue, Fallon turned toward me. But from the angle
>of the image, I had to admit he didn’t shift because
>he was uncomfortable from pain. He was aroused.
>
>The image faded away.
>
>You want me to fu—
>
>No. I don’t.There was such censure in his
>blind eyes. And you can’t.
>
>What?
>
>You heard me.
>
>Contradicting yourself.
>
>Fallon has never been denied before. A little
>sexual tension will ease his pain. Your lust will
>make him strong.
>
>I shook my head in disagreement, remembering what I
>had seen when I had searched for the truth in his
>eyes. The dungeon we stood in brought the image into
>sharper focus. Pain from being shackled to these very
>devices was a tangible thing.
>
>You’re going to have to lose that naivety. Fallon
>has never submitted to another’s desire. If you think
>that just because he was restrained he wasn’t in
>control, you won’t be able to save him. You need to
>exert your influence over him.
>
>But he knows my desires Darian, and dominance isn’t
>one of them.
>
>Then you better play the game.
>
>His li—
>
>He believes his life is. That’s what’s important.
>If you want him to survive, you have to convince him
>that there is a reason to play.
>
>By being a deceptive, manipulating, cock-teasing
>bitch.
>
>Ironic isn’t it? But whatever you do, do
>not allow any part of his body inside you. Not
>his tongue when you kiss. Not his fingers in your
>mouth or his hand between your legs. And don’t show
>him your back. Be on guard. He’s very…talented at
>what he does. He’ll be slipping his cock home before
>you can even think to say no. And then the game is
>over because he’ll have no reason to win.
>
>Well, wasn’t this just the most uncomfortable
>conversation I’ve ever had? Anything else? I
>meant to be flippant.
>
>Darian was serious. Yeah. If this has any chance
>of working, neither one of you can have an orgasm.
>
>
>Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
>
>You get him aroused to the point of madness. Hold
>him on the cusp of release. And then you get him to
>the Senate of Peers.
>
>Great. Lovely. Just fucking wonderful. An
>audience Darian?
>
>I’m not thrilled with it either.
>
>Yeah. I took a deep breath to commit myself.
>So…he’ll come…ah…go with me…?
>
>He’s protected you since the beginning of time. He
>exists for your pleasure. There is no doubt. He’ll
>follow you.
>
>How do I get to the Senate? For a moment there
>was nothing. I waited until I couldn’t handle the
>silence. Darian? Hellllooo? A little help
>here?
>
>Darian’s voice when it came was hesitant with
>disbelief. You don’t know?
>
>Do you think if I knew how to get there I wouldn’t
>have asked for that judgement like Fallon said I
>should?
>
>What the hell is he thinking? Darian seemed to
>recall that he was speaking in my head. Look. I
>don’t know either.
>
>This little wisp of news left me with a bad taste, and
>for the first time, I had suspicions. Wouldn’t
>peers imply everyone?
>
>Yeah. And in the eternity we spent together I
>introduced you to how many of my kind? He
>scoffed, shifting beside me, leaning a negligent hip
>on one of the torture tables. That’s right. None.
> And even before your seduction, I told you I didn’t
>have a home. What did you think all those mirrors
>represented? My obsession with images that aren’t
>there and looks I can’t see?
>
>I searched his face, hesitant to meet his gaze, but I
>did so, and saw what had been hidden in the
>reflections, what had been disguised by the ones who
>had imposed the restrictions to weaken him.
>Prison. The giving lover before me hadn’t
>changed. But my perceptions had. How dare they lock
>him up? Why?
>
>He smiled, but it wasn’t with mirth or happiness, but
>more like self-reproach. Congratulations, My
>Heart. You, a half-mortal, have a self-acknowledged
>and very intimate association, not to mention the
>claim and rights of a mate, with two of the most
>feared and powerful beings in existence. His
>expression softened. For all that he’s an arrogant
>prick, Fallon is my brother. And while that is enough
>for my wanting him to live, I now owe him a debt of
>gratitude. I’d do anything to save him from this
>scheme.
>
>What are you talking about? I smoothed
>Fallon’s sweat-soaked hair from his forehead.
>
>Fallon didn’t rescue you from a human accident. He
>announced his intent, by aligning himself to you, when
>he thwarted the attempt on your life.
>
>What attempt?
>
>Come off it Heather. You know. The truck that
>crashed through yours and ripped you apart!
>
>No. It couldn’t be. That driver was an idiot.
>The roads were icy. That’s al—
>
>Don’t YOU get it? Your existence was to be
>snuffed out because it was feared you’d release me.
>
>
>I…I did release you.
>
>Yeah. And now Fallon is insisting on a judgement.
>What do you think his plan is? Look around you,
>Heather. This is where Fallon believes he belongs.
>This is where he grew up. This is where his skills
>were honed and exploited until he grew too powerful to
>be bound. He’s going to trade his existence for mine.
> With you as my mate, I’m not a threat. With you as
>my mate, I’d pose no risk to any other of our kind and
>would not be sent back to my prison. But with
>Fallon’s word to stay here…he’d never get to leave
>his.
>
>I didn’t know. All I knew was that I wanted to be
>with you. Tears blurred my vision. How could
>my love for you cause all this anguish?
>
>It’s called heartbreak. Love is dangerous,
>Heather. It is feared because to reach for it is to
>risk the unknown and tempt the vulnerability that
>lives in us all.
>
>I didn’t know. Darian if I had, I’d have never…
>
>Never what? Set me free?
>
>Oh Darian! That’s not…Um…Well…No. I didn’t mean
>what it sounds like…
>
>I know. Fallon knows. The rest don’t matter.
>
>I’ve made a mess of everything. The Senate of
>Peers won’t believe my actions weren’t part of a plot
>to help you escape.
>
>No. The fact that it happened exactly as they
>feared, won’t help Fallon. And since then, he has
>flaunted his powers by assuming those of one of the
>strongest Sentinels. Which isn’t a surprise to us as
>we know him, but Sentinels have safeguards to protect
>themselves, and yet…
>
>Fallon stripped him with ease. I thought of
>Cadmus; a being identical to the brothers before me,
>and like Darian and Fallon, he had lost everything
>because of me. Thoughts in this world were dangerous,
>as having the time captured Cadmus appear before me
>attested.
>
>Darian shifted, nodding to the present form of Cadmus.
> I believe he was set up. With his rank, Cadmus
>would have access to our records. He shouldn’t have
>been blindsided when Fallon admitted he was aware of
>your existence and that he claimed you as a child.
>Unless someone covered it up.
>
>I played right into their hands.
>
>You didn’t know.
>
>Doesn’t matter. I shook my head. This is
>my fault.
>
>Don’t let emotion rule. Fallon would have ensured
>there would be no loopholes when it came to his claim
>of you. It is as he has willed it. He knew
>this was coming.
>
>Fallon is suffering because of me.
>
>It’s not like that.
>
>Yeah, it is. And you’re suffering too.
>
>If you hadn’t responded the way you did, one of us
>would have died. And between you and me, Lisha’s
>presence tell me it wouldn’t have been love that was
>lost.
>
>Clarity surfaced. Ceased to exist. That would
>mea— Fallon groaned, using his waning strength to
>get back to me. I stroked down his face with my index
>finger, tracing his lips. His mouth opened. “Sorry
>Fallon. I’m not allowed inside.”
>
>His body is yours to use for your pleasure.
>Darian gestured. Go on. Use him.
>
>I hate that I have to exploit his powers.
>
>Yeah.
>
>I’m sorry for this Darian. For everything.
>Whatever happens I want you to know that.
>
>Darian smiled. This is more than your doing, My
>Heart. If anyone needs to answer for his actions and
>justify himself, it’s Fallon.
>
>In contrast to the roll role
I had to play, my touch was
>light as I soothed Fallon’s hair off his face.
>He’s going to detest me.
>
>Yeah. I know.
>
>I caught the note of self-cynicism. I trust you
>Darian.
>
>Yeah. I know. But perhaps you shouldn’t.
>
>Why?
>
>I’m male. “And I want you.”
>
>I smiled. “I’ve noticed.” You also exist for me.
>I don’t think I was wrong to believe that you have
>only my best interests at heart.
>
>Take him someplace safe. And then when you can,
>you get him to that Senate.
>
>I will. I reached out and grasped Darian’s
>hand, giving it a slight squeeze. Promise.
>
>Wait. Darian squeezed my hand back, and lifted
>his chin in Cadmus’s direction. I could finish
>this for you, but it might be best if Cadmus wasn’t
>aware that he’s as helpless as a mortal.
>
>The world shifted beneath our feet and we were back
>under Cadmus’s influence, away from the torture room
>and back into hell as if nothing had happened. One
>thought and Cadmus resumed his simpering consolation,
>pulling me back, away from Fallon. “Heather. There
>is nothing you can do for Fallon besides let him be.”
>
>“I don’t think so.” Rocks cut into my knees and the
>physical pain was enough to block out the internal
>torment. I looked around startled. We were alone.
>The setting a place for lovers, the waterfall a
>majestic power of its own. I had taken Fallon home.
>First, can I tell you hard it is to crit anything
>from "Mirrors?" I get so caught up in the story that
>I forget I'm supposed to be critiquing! And have I
>ever told you I just love Fallon? No, I mean
>love him. Oh, I've mentioned that? Just wanted
>to be sure...
Well hmmmm. It is Fallon being refered to…but I kinda hoped that because he had his own paragraph that it would be apparent who it was. Apparently not. *G* So…I’ll concentrate more on making it be Fallon. Thanx
>>
>>Darian leaned down towards Fallon. “That’s right,
>>bro. All I have to do is behave like an ass, and
>>she’ll be all over me.” His whisper was soft, but
>>unlike the murmurs I was familiar with when we were
>>lovers, the malice in his tone was unmistakable.
>>“You’re pathetic. What kind of being would allow his
>>brother to fuck his mate? Give her to me? I don’t
>>think so. She’s already mine.”
>>
>>“Darian!”
>>
>>His lips brushed Fallon’s nape. “You know, while you
>>lay there and will yourself to die, remember what
>>it’ll mean.”
>>
>>Fallon’s head moved back and forth. “No…no…can’t
>>do…Heather. She…deserves…bet..ter.”
>>
>>“Better than you? Oh yeah, you you're
Okay. Let’s try this. Oh yeah, you are damned right she does. Hmmmm I don’t like it that way. Is that really how it should be?
>
>damned right she does.
>> At least I love her.” Darian straightened.
>>
>>“…Can’t do that to her…don’t…you…hurt her…”
>>
>>“Well, of course not. At least not right away. I
>>won’t be able to. But you know, there’s a good chance
>>with you dead, I’d possess your powers. I’ll be able
>>to say no, and I’ll be capable of the rough se—”
>>
>>“No…no. Deserves better than a whore.”
>>
>>“Is that what you think you are?” Darian laughed.
>>“Guess you’re not a very good one. You left Heather
>>unsatisfied.”
>
>Burn!
LOL Well, he did leave Heather unsatisfied you know. ; -)
>
>>Darian, what the hell are you doing?
>>
>>He’s feeling something other than pain now.
>>
>>Words have the power to hurt too, Darian. I can’t
>>let you do thi—
>>
>>Touch him like you care.
>>
>>I do care. My fingers traced over Fallon’s
>>cheek, feeling the strong angles, wondering how even
>>in pain his features held such magnificence. At my
>>touch, he eased, and crazy as it was, given what I
>>knew of Fallon’s power, it made sense. Not to me.
> What made sense? The easing of his features? The
>way Darian spoke to him? The fact that it caused
>Fallon to respond?
You’re killing me here. The last one. Her touch caused Fallon to respond. *G* I tried very hard to put all this in the same sentence so it would be clear, but I guess I’ll have to try again. But perhaps if you re-read this bit, it’ll help…
Pushed down, I sat in the chair shaped to the contours of our position. Fallon was on his knees between my thighs, his hands resting on my hips, his erection positioned in an intimate, inescapable promise. I gave in to temptation and gripped his dark hair, delighting in the texture clenched in my fists. His eyes closed and he groaned. Startled at how erotic it sounded, I realized he felt unadulterated pleasure as I reached out to him for the first time. I tightened my grip, increasing the pull on his scalp.
And then his eyes opened, and I was lost in the abyss.
>I swallowed,
>>needing to make him understand, but I couldn’t speak.
>>Instead, I soothed his hair, willed the thick mass to
>>detangle under my ministrations.
>>
>>“You feel that, bro? That’s the touch of a woman who
>>loves you. She honours you with her tears. And here
>>you lay, weak and pitiful. Unable and unwilling to
>>satisfy her needs.” Darian scoffed, a rude sound of
>>disgust. And then, he took Fallon’s chin in his hand
>>and forced Fallon to honour the oath. “Look into my
>>eyes. Let me see the truth you know is there.”
>>
>>His lashes flickered open, and with utter
>>ruthlessness, Darian sought the reflections.
>Is this a POV jump? How would Heather know Darian
>was seeking with utter ruthlessness?
Ah. Well…not by what I think is happening. *G* But okay, besides forcing Fallon to honour the oath, I’ll add in a frown or something. ; -) Oh, and yeah, Darian has always been ruthless, he just goes about it in a nice way. Remember these?
The very first time Heather and Darian met…
Darian knelt down in front of the chair, his forearm resting on the raised knee. “Heather, my heart. Look into my eyes.”
Hypnotized by the seduction in his voice I obeyed part of his command and looked down. A sexy half smile teased sensual lips meant to be kissed. Long hair begged to be touched. His white shirt was open, beckoning hands to caress his skin, to slide underneath the offending material and help it fall from the broad shoulders. His skin-tight black trousers were made of a sinful material that molded to his thighs, becoming a part of him, defining muscles to perfection. He had a timeless feel with a passionate scent.
Yet, something about him wasn’t right. I closed my eyes; I shut down my senses. I felt him. My eyes opened and for the first time met the dark obsidian of his. “What are you,” I whispered.
“What do you see?” Pure seduction, I felt the caress of his words.
“A lover. A fantasy. A dream.”
He smiled. “What is your dream, Heather? Your fantasy?”
“Nice try. But I see through you.”
His smile widened. “Nice try. But I am stronger.” He held my gaze. “What do you see?” All pretence was gone; this was a demand for an answer.
Images swirled into focus, coming from the depths of his eyes. Images I refused to see. “Mirrors on the walls...reflections from the lights.”
“Focus. Choose one reflection and don’t blink. See what is there.”
There was no choice. “I see myself.”
“Look deeper.”
“No.” I tried to shake my head, but he held it with the power of his gaze. I couldn’t look away. He was stronger, too strong for me to resist.
And then when Darian sent her away…
He pulled me closer. Hands soothed my back. I could smell his unique scent and feel the comforting texture of his hair under my cheek. His warm body pressed against mine. He was my reality in a world of illusions.
“This cannot go on.”
The small catch in his voice was my undoing. I wanted nothing more than to make his pain stop, to replace the shimmer of tears with the glint of mischief. I glanced to his face and searched his eyes.
“I don’t understand. What are you saying?”
His hands tightened their hold, the comforting motion stopped. He blinked. A single tear broke away and traveled over the strong planes of his face, hanging on with characteristic stubbornness to his chin. “It rips me apart that I can feel your suffering but am helpless to ease your hurt.”
“I wouldn’t want you to even if you could.”
“I know.” The tear fell, disappearing, judged and sentenced to nothingness. “And that’s the solution, isn’t it?” The pressure with which he held me eased. A feather pillow took the place of his arm; a soft blanket replaced his warmth. “Heather, look into my eyes. See the truth you know is there.”
“No.” Obstinate, I yanked the covers over my head.
He possessed greater power than I. The warm blanket ceased to be; the top sheet slipped away, my fists clenched into the black silk meaningless. I clutched nothing but air. As if I were a rag doll, his thoughts lifted and settled me beside him. My head turned under the gentle insistence of his fingers under my chin.
“What do you see?”
His voice was a soft whisper of authority, a suggestion so tempting, I found myself granting his wishes. After all, he would see my deepest desire to be with him. I focused on the reflections in his eyes.
Panic swept over me. I swallowed, attempting to find my voice in a throat gone dry. “Nothing…Blackness.” No images swirled into focus.
He took control.
I braced to face the numbing pain that dwelled in him, the anguish he assumed for others. Instead, my body froze with cold, and while my breath was suddenly visible, his was not. “Darian, I—” Desperate to escape his hold, I struggled to block my feelings, but it was in vain. He held on; he kept my gaze locked with his until he was certain.
After tense moments of silence, he pushed away from me. As he stood, supple pants formed around the contours of his muscular legs. The same shirt I had stripped off his broad shoulders so long ago covered his chest. A quick toss of his head and his hair smoothed out. He turned away and strode to the other side of the room; the strike of his boots an echo of my despair.
>>
>>“My, my.” Darian laughed, but it wasn’t amusing. His
>>hurtful mirth vanished, leaving the sensation of cold
>>anger. “You’re a bastard Fallon.”
>>
>>“Which is one of the things you love about me.” A
>>soft murmur, it held assurance.
>>
>>“Keep telling yourself that.” Darian waited until I
>>met his gaze. “My Heart, I exist to make you happy.
>>To satisfy your every need. Even though I don’t
>>agree, and would rather he dies as alone as he lived,
>>I’ll allow you to say your goodbyes.”
>>
>>That brought my attention back to Darian. “Allow?”
>>
>>“Yeah. Allow.” My brother hasn’t been exactly
>>truthful with either of us. He doesn’t want to give
>>me to you. He already has.
>
>Is Darian already absorbing some of Fallon's
>powers, and therefore, his personality? Because I can
>see Fallon saying "Yeah," but Darian seems to be more
>of a "Yes, dear" type of dude.
Well, that’s what I intended to happen, but it seems like it came out too much too soon based on the comments I’ve received. So I’m currently rethinking this so I can fix it. Thanks for the added confirmation
>
>>
>>What?
>>
>>There’s no tim—
>>
>>Without any compunction, I sent us to the only place I
>>knew where time didn’t exist, and since the place did
>>not exist, we could not exist in it. Immediately, I
>>felt the loss of Fallon. We have all the time in
>>existence.
>
>JMHO, but there's too much "exist" and its variants
>in this paragraph, making it hard to read and probably
>obscuring your point. Can you find another way to say
>it?
Hmmm. That’s a tough one. *G*
>>
>>
>>
>>He believes his life is. That’s what’s important.
>>If you want him to survive, you have to convince him
>>that there is a reason to play.
>>
>>By being a deceptive, manipulating, cock-teasing
>>bitch.
>>
>>Ironic isn’t it? But whatever you do, do
>>not allow any part of his body inside you. Not
>>his tongue when you kiss. Not his fingers in your
>>mouth or his hand between your legs. And don’t show
>>him your back. Be on guard. He’s very…talented at
>>what he does. He’ll be slipping his cock home before
>>you can even think to say no. And then the game is
>>over because he’ll have no reason to win.
>>
>>Well, wasn’t this just the most uncomfortable
>>conversation I’ve ever had? Anything else? I
>>meant to be flippant.
>>
>>Darian was serious. Yeah. If this has any chance
>>of working, neither one of you can have an orgasm.
>>
>>
>>Are you kidding me?
>
>Are you kidding me?
LOL Nope. No kidding you.
>>
>>
>>
>>In contrast to the roll role
>I had to play, my touch was
>>light as I soothed Fallon’s hair off his face.
>>He’s going to detest me.
I detest those darn typos! Thanks!
>>
>>
>>“I don’t think so.” Rocks cut into my knees and the
>>physical pain was enough to block out the internal
>>torment. I looked around startled. We were alone.
>>The setting a place for lovers, the waterfall a
>>majestic power of its own. I had taken Fallon home.
>
>More. Please. Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease!
Really? I never would have guessed you wanted more. ; -) K, I’ll see what I can do.
Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment! Mucho appreciated!
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