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Date Posted: 16:42:59 10/28/09 Wed
Author: dea
Subject: dropping by swiftly
In reply to: Debi 's message, "Come along now... ;-)" on 20:43:14 10/24/09 Sat

i agree with Esther and Page about the check-in scene; it deserves to be written.

what i did not like very much was Valerie stepping on his toes. or Daniel's reply. i cannot avoid thinking it was a tad offensive. because it really hurts, you know? it's not a slight poke on the ribs, for instance. i don't know, i think it's too soon to associate pain with pleasure. they're not that intimate, are they? maybe it's just me, but it sort of makes Valerie look silly. not the "i'm-in-love" silly, just immature. maybe tickling would be nicer. and the idea i have of Daniel is that of a gentleman. i don't think he would say "bitch" to her, let alone in a public situation. instead he could say a generic "bugger" - he's English, is he, if I remember well. they could laugh about it, break the tension. even though they end up trashing the room later. do i make any sense?

Last edited by author: Thu October 29, 2009 10:23:09   Edited 1 time.

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