Sherri! (or anyone else who's bioligical father is not involved) -- January 98 Playgroup

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Date Posted: 08:08:27 04/05/03 Sat
Author: Candice
Subject:

Sherri! (or anyone else who's bioligical father is not involved)

This isn't about me, but my brother. My brother is our black sheep. He has been in and out of jail since he was 10 yrs old (all my mom's fault..if you ask me!). Anyway, he had a girlfriend with which he has 3 kids with. One of the girls is the one with brain cancer. I have slowly started to rebuild my relationship with my nieces and nephews and am going to NY to visit them in 3 weeks.

Anyway, my brothers ex got remarried to my brothers ex-bestfriend. His ex-bestfriend WAS just like my brother, but has straightend out...I mean did a turn around. He is the father to my nieces and nephews and they call him Dad. I talked to my niece on the phone yesterday (she was in the hospital receiving her chemo) and asked her where her mom was and she said, "downstairs getting my dad". It kind of threw me.

My brothers ex wants him to give up parental rights and let her new husband adopt the children so they will have the same last name. While I understand her need to do that, I don't agree. I think I may be being selfish?

There is no doubt in anyone's mind that my brother loves his children. (He just can't see them due to this home confinement thing he is on.) There is also no doubt that the new husband loves these children. I am having a hard time supporting my brother and having a hard time supporting his ex on this big battle that is going on.

Aslo, this is where I get selfish. It has to do with the "family name". My brother's son is the last in line with my maiden name. My parents 2 girls and one boy. My sister and I remarried and took our husbands name. That leaves my brother. I don't picture him having any more kids, so that leaves the one boy. If they change his name, that will end our family name.

I may not have given you enough information, but would love your insight on this situation. I am having a hard time staying in the middle, so would love an unbiased opinion.

If you read it all, thanks!

Candice

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Replies:

A couple of questions... -- 4grant, 10:03:42 04/05/03 Sat
- Ok, some answers -- candice, 10:42:21 04/05/03 Sat
  - More... -- 4grant, 11:01:01 04/05/03 Sat
    - Ok, some more.... -- Candice, 16:26:25 04/05/03 Sat
      - Okay, my thoughts now... -- 4grant, 18:31:09 04/05/03 Sat
        Thanks Sherri -- Candice, 12:11:05 04/07/03 Mon
Hmm... that's a tough one.. -- deltim, 10:38:45 04/05/03 Sat
- Do you need both parents permission to change last names? -- Candice, 16:34:00 04/05/03 Sat
  - Yes, at least here in WI they do... -- deltim, 20:13:16 04/05/03 Sat
My sister has a similar situation (m) -- chattyf, 11:50:48 04/05/03 Sat
- Good idea on the hyphenation.... -- Candice, 16:41:12 04/05/03 Sat
We changed my daughters name (more) -- Kerrilynnn, 22:05:38 04/05/03 Sat

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