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Date Posted: 11:04:35 06/24/03 Tue
Author: .liam.
Subject:
.uh.oh.

In reply to: Tex 's message, "too.. difficult" on 20:47:36 06/23/03 Mon


[ =sniff= that sad song u told me about is playing right now... my kazaa play list just got to it. luckily i've got a blink 182 song after it, for comic relief. lol ]

"I'm thinking about... you, and me, and everything. Just everything..." Liam murmured in one of those half-concentrated voices. He didn't want to give her a full explanation of his thoughts, 'cause... well... that would be just too embarassing, and Liam was already blushing like a tomato, and he didn't really want to know what the next level of embarassment was and him telling Tex his thoughts in detail would for sure send him hurling to the next level.
Outside, he rain tumbled in sheets from the bloated-belly clouds, and was currently slapping 'gainst the walls of the beach house, as if it were a burgler trying to find a way in. But the doors, windows, and seams to the house were sealed tight... and try as the rain might, it would stay outside...
'Where it belonges',
Thought Liam mindlessly as a clap of thunder sounded and the room was illuminated brightly for one quick moment. Liam took that moment of sheer natural light to study Tex's features, taking in every detail in her expression. And that's when he noticed it... her blush. Sure enough, 'tween the fingers which were half-covering her face, he could see the gentle flush of scarlet. It was suprising... because, well... Liam had never actually considered that Tex would... or had blushed in his presence. She was always so cool, and collected when it came to this stuff... the kissing, the everything. Liam just assumed that he'd never made her blush... I mean, obviously he knew that other guys in her past had made her blush, but Liam himself didn't believe that he could do or say anything to give her that fuzzy feeling in the tummy or the scarlet rush that captures one's cheeks. But here Tex was, as real as anything... and she was blushing. An ounce of what... joy? pride? or something along the lines of those two things, gripped Liam tightly. Gently, he pressed one slightly-calloused finger-tip to her cheek where the blush seemed most evident. "You're... blushing." He murmured kind of quietly, his voice full of wonder and a bit of question, too. Had he made her blush? Was it him? ...Or was it just the heat from the fire? Or was she feeling fevered? Liam didn't know... but wanted to... really wanted to. Just like he wanted to kiss her... really wanted to kiss her -- but couldn't. And that brings me back to when Tex had asked Liam 'bout why he hadn't kissed her, if he had wanted to. Liam knew the answer to that... he knew all the answers to that. But, he didn't know how to relay them all to her in plain english. Liam glanced 'way from Tex, obviously feeling embarassed, cowardly, and ashamed. Even though he didn't want to give her his reasons, he'd do it... simply 'cause he didn't want her to think that he was turned off by the idea of kissing her, because that just wasn't it! Nope, the idea of kissing Tex again... was just one of those things that kept dominating his thoughts and made it hard to focus. "Ummm... I didn't because --" Liam mumbled, his eyes flashing up to hers momentarily 'fore shifting 'way. He could feel his hands getting clammy 'neath the sheets.
'Say something... damnit. Tell her why...'
Liam tried to find the right words. He wanted to sound better then a stammering, fearful fool.
"I was afraid that you might not want me to, and that it may have been the wrong moment... and that..." Liam sighed, his forehead furrowed in concern as he glanced back up to her, that blush having consumed his features as a whole. "I was afraid I was going to be bad at it... I don't want to be bad at it, not with you... and I try not to be, but... I just am."


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