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Date Posted: 11:20:23 06/26/03 Thu
Author: SurveyGuy
Author Host/IP: pcp01422563pcs.lndsd201.pa.comcast.net / 68.81.153.209
Subject: Is this an allegory or a parable? Or maybe it's just a joke.

This joke is being circulated. Somehow it seemed appropriate to post it here.

Dan Rather, Jesse Jackson, Cokie Roberts from National Public Radio and an Israeli soldier were hiking through the jungle one day when they were captured by cannibals. They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the chief.

The chief said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill and eat you, do you have any last requests?"

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot, spicy chili." The chief nodded to an underling, who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life I am proudest of is my work on behalf of the poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want to sing "We Shall Overcome" one last time." The chief said, "Go right ahead, we're listening." Jackson sang the song, and then said, "Now I can die in peace."

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job til the end." The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

The chief said, "And, Mr. Israeli soldier, what is your final wish?"

"Kick me in the ass." said the Israeli.

"What?" said the chief. "Will you mock us in your last hour?" "No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass." insisted the Israeli.

So the chief untied the soldier, shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass. The Israeli went sprawling, but rolled to his knees,pulled a 9mm pistol from his waistband, and shot the chief dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his uzi, and sprayed the cannibals with gunfire. In a flash, the annibals were all dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Israeli was untying the others, they each asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass?"

"What!?" said the Israeli, "And have you f***ers call ME the aggressor?!?"

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Replies:

[> Oh God that is so true! Did I say GOD? ooooooo nooooo .... -- Gary, 13:40:05 06/26/03 Thu (pool-141-151-2-108.phil.east.verizon.net/141.151.2.108)

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[> Hah! Too funny. And too true. What do you want to bet the anti-gun crowd would be outraged over just such a situation, and rather than laud the brave man who saved himself and his companions, instead come down on him as a violent murderer of those poor primitive savages, and if it weren't for his guns, they'd...uuuuhhh....they'd all be dead....uuuhhh....wait a minute....there's gotta be a way to make the logic work here somehow.... -- Spock, 16:45:21 06/26/03 Thu (user-vc8fm1s.biz.mindspring.com/216.135.216.60)

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[> [> If it weren't for that mean, evil, aggressive, murdering Nazi Israel Soldier, those sweet, innocent, bothering nobody, cannibals would have had a very lousy meal of three very unpleasant individuals, while some might not mind Cokie Roberts as much as the others. As a result, those poor cannibals will go hungry and the children of those who were killed will now have to grow up without a father and/or mother. If not for that mean Israeli soldier interfering with their way of life! -- William, 00:36:27 06/27/03 Fri (cache-dl03.proxy.aol.com/205.188.209.39)

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[> [> Spock, does that help make the logic work? Gotta' find a way to nail that nasty Israel soldier for ruining the cannibals' dinner and saving his own life as well as those of Jackson, Roberts, and Rather. It was a clever situational comedy, was it not? -- William, 23:59:48 06/27/03 Fri (cache-rl02.proxy.aol.com/152.163.252.226)

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[> Another clever bit of humor, and so close to truth that it almost hurts! -- William, 00:31:42 06/27/03 Fri (cache-dl03.proxy.aol.com/205.188.209.39)

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