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Date Posted: 00:17:37 04/10/05 Sun
Author: sk
Subject: first things first
In reply to: Diane 's message, "Okay - Chapter 1" on 11:02:02 04/04/05 Mon

I can't offer to beta this -- I don't have the time right now, but I did want to say that this line made me smile:

"her standard solution to every fashion problem, a hat"

Just in general -- you seem to have a pretty good handle on your style and who your version of these characters are. My fast suggestion, always, is that you read your work out loud (not in your head, but really out loud) to yourself -- it will reveal a lot about pacing, phrasing, vocabulary, etc.

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[> [> [> Thanks! -- Diane, 12:45:44 04/10/05 Sun

I try to do that; I catch a lot of boo-boos that way, too!

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