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Date Posted: 20:26:32 04/29/05 Fri
Author: Shanola
Subject: Re: Okay - Chapter 8
In reply to: Diane 's message, "Okay - Chapter 8" on 19:15:47 04/22/05 Fri

You are skipping POVs in this chapter. Each line is an inner thought from a different character. I'd suggest streamlining this into one character's head. It'll be less confusing for the reader that way.

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[> [> [> Re: Okay - Chapter 8 -- Diane, 21:11:57 04/29/05 Fri

I see what you mean. I'll have another go it.

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