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Date Posted: 10:43:04 05/17/07 Thu
Author: Mikki
Author Host/IP: 24-231-186-93.dhcp.bycy.mi.charter.com / 24.231.186.93
Subject: Re: son.... very long... like... maybe gem or mikki only will respond anyway
In reply to: Richard 's message, "son.... very long... like... maybe gem or mikki only will respond anyway" on 04:32:17 05/15/07 Tue

HEy, I'm here......you are in a real pickle here. We've talked before about codependency and your need to make up for the years you lost raising your kids. The kids (both of them) are dysfunctional, mainly because of their upbringing. I really feel that the alcohol and drug abuse your son is exhibiting is self medication for the pain he has endured over the years.

You have tried so hard Richard to get him on the straight and narrow. He has done nothing but use you...take your things, take your pills, and take your money. A couple things you said struck me, when he thought you had more money than you had, and "but I am your life dad". When children are little, yes they are your life, but when they get to be 29.......they are your children, but they aren't your life. He is trying.......I can see that in keeping a job to try to pay for things....rent, food, etc. But he continually thinks he can come to you to bail him out. And you are letting it happen.

He is doomed to a life of menial jobs.....he will always be a drain on you until you are dead. If he wants to go back west....I'd let him go. It's his life now, and if you weren't around to be the ATM machine, perhaps he will pull it together and make a life for himself. Or he will fall back into that old life of drinking and drugging. You have no control over that....Let go Let God. All you can do is love him, and support whatever decision he makes. It is going to hurt you no doubt, but you have to think of yourself now. He is grown, it's time to step up to the plate and play.

I hope you don't mind the bluntness....you and I are good enough friends to be honest with each other. You are in my prayers, and keep us updated ok?

Love you, Mikki

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